Problem Colleague

LegacyUser

I've just started work in an organisation that is currently undergoing development. For years it has only had 3 employees. Currently it has 5 and will be expanding to 10 bit by bit in the next few months.

I am one of the new ones.

One of my colleagues, let's call her Ann. Ann has worked here for 10 years. She is an incredibly kind, generous, friendly and welcoming woman. She even went so far as to buy me a welcome gift to the organisation. She is very bubbly and extroverted and is overjoyed that more staff are coming on board.

However although we each have our own offices, she talks to me non-stop. This morning she came in to my office and chatted for 40 minutes. I always say, "I really must get back to work" after about 10 minutes, and she agrees emphatically, and then keeps talking.

She thinks there are two of us in it but it is really her. I really like her and enjoy her company but I am beginning to need to stay late at work to make up the time lost talking to her, as my work is not getting done. The 40 minute interludes happen once or twice a day. I've never seen anything like it.

How do I broach this? I don't want to hurt her feelings, or burst her bubble, or lose what could be a good friendship.

Any advice appreciated.

Alf. A. Male

I have similar colleagues. I don't bother with an announcement that "I must get back to work", unless I have to move away, I just carry on talking and resume working after a few minutes. It quickly becomes obvious I'm concentrating on the work, not them and they move along. Doesn't seem to cause a problem and doesn't keep me from working, but I still get all the news that matters packed into a bulletin. For the ones I have more in common with, I make an effort at lunchtime or after work.

Ande1975

Ann sounds like she's delighted to have someone to chat with but I know how frustrating it can be when you are trying to get your work done.

I don't know how these would work but the next time it happens and she's talking interrupt her and say 'Ann, have you lunch plans? We can continue the chat then, I'm way behind here'. You could get up and excuse yourself and say, sorry Ann need to run to the ladies, drank too much water this morning, I'll catch you later. If you have a head set for your phone, put it on so it looks like you are on a call or even pick up the phone to say you need to call someone or dial into a meeting?
Hopefully she'll get the hint. I'm sure she has a lot of work to do too.

miamee

"Ann, I don't want to be rude but I really have loads to do, do you mind if I just get on with this?
<jokingly> I don't want to get in trouble when I am still only new! Can we catch up later? Thanks!"

Or something like that. If she doesn't get the hint after a few times of that you'll have to be more explicit but hopefully that sort of a comment a few mornings in a row should give her the hint.

pickarooney

Is she the boss or does nobody notice that half the workforce wastes two hours chatting every day?

stickybookmark

I'd agree with the headphones idea. I used to have this problem with the guy that sat next to me, he wanted to chat all the time and it was making both of us look bad. So I took to listening to music with headphones in all the time. When he would see me concentrating on my computer screen and the headphones in, he was far less likely to interrupt me. In general you wouldn't interrupt somoene with headphones in unless it was something important, you would never do it just for idle chatter.

If for some reason you can't do the headphones one, then just keep staring at your screen and give monosyllabic replies til she goes away. Yes it's going to come across as rude, yes she will be a bit miffed if she's used to you chatting to her for 40 mins but she'll quickly get the hint. Unfortunately it's more important that you get your work done than it is that you build a friendship with her. She'll quickly get over it and ye can still be friends, you just have to create clear boundaries for her so she realises - lunchtime is for chatting, during the working day is not.

nc19

As shes talking to you next time, pick up your phone and set an alarm for 2 mins with your ring tone as the alarm. When it rings tell her you have to take it and stay on it until she leaves

Rubberchikken

i work with someone who could talk for ireland.
he means no harm and luckily i only work with him fridays, but i find if i have to actually do something, the best thing is to work away and the chat will eventually subside.
then at break time, i will listen to my hearts content.
think he's just happy to have someone who listens.

iusedtoknow

Earphones all the way - if that isn't allowed or part of your company culture, just be direct with her and say you have get on with x task.
If that doesn't work, humour her for 5 minutes, and just start working again and ignoring her with monosyllabic answers or grunts.

deedless

Could you try standing up and moving around - do some filing, fetch a reference book, get a glass of water wtc. People are less comfortable talking to moving people so you might be able to move her on. When going to sit back down, say something like back to the grindstone, thanks for the break.

Merkin

Oh God, I've had so many colleagues like this through the years. I'm chatty too but some people don't know when to draw the line. This woman sounds nice but woefully overbearing, I'd find the whole welcome gift thing a bit much too tbh.

With people like this I just walk off mid conversation. It sounds ruder than it is but if it's a well cultivated habit people don't mind as it is done quite seamlessly. When she doesn't get the hint, say you have to go to the kitchen/toilet/have to talk to another colleague - basically leave the room so you sever the flow of conversation and tell her you'll catch her later. While you stay in your office you're a virtual prisoner so leaving the actual space gives you the control back. Try it, it works.