Letter from Department of Social Protection Data Access

The Wild Bunch

Hi guys

I received a letter from the above department, and the letter also included another letter from Cunamh which they were asked to forward to me. The letter from the Dep of Soc Protection stated they had not given out any information about me.

The letter from Cunamh (it didnt say Cunamh but the address and Telephone number included matches) states that they have received an enquiry which may be of interest to me and would like the opportunity to discuss it with me.

Is this likely to be from my natural mother or father or family member?

Was completely taken aback by it, now I don't know what to do.

Any help greatly appreciated

Cheers

rcdada

Yes, this is either your birth mother, natural father or a siblings trying to contact you.

My mother is currently tracing her adopted son through the same agency Cunamh and they explained through their tracing they do contact the Department of Social Protection this is in order for them to locate the adopted person (i.e. obtain an address).... the department will not give out addresses etc. without the permission of the person in question.

So, yes Cunamh are trying to locate you because somebody is trying to find you.

Yes, this is either your birth mother, natural father or a siblings trying to contact you.

My mother is currently tracing her adopted son through the same agency Cunamh and they explained through their tracing they do contact the Department of Social Protection this is in order for them to locate the adopted person (i.e. obtain an address).... the department will not give out addresses etc. without the permission of the person in question.

So, yes Cunamh are trying to locate you because somebody is trying to find you.

What Cunamh explains is they send 3 letters apparently to the adopted person and if they hear nothing back they assume the adopted person does not want to make contact nor be found. If you want to make contact with your biological family do respond to the Cunamh letter by maybe ring them but this must be a lot to take in so take your time.

But it certainly is a family member and I would assume a parent. Best of Luck a new chapter maybe waiting to be opened.

Ghekko

Wow wild bunch. Had you any thought of tracing yourself or is this completely out of the blue?

The Wild Bunch

Ghekko wrote: »

Wow wild bunch. Had you any thought of tracing yourself or is this completely out of the blue?

Never thought about it and never had any interest if I'm perfectly honest.

Rang Cunamh there and have arranged to meet the Cunamh lady for a chat tomorrow!

Ghekko

Good luck with it. As rcdada says, take your time to digest whatever info you get. Would love an update if you are willing to let us know how it goes tomorrow.

The Wild Bunch

rcdada wrote: »

Yes, this is either your birth mother, natural father or a siblings trying to contact you.

My mother is currently tracing her adopted son through the same agency Cunamh and they explained through their tracing they do contact the Department of Social Protection this is in order for them to locate the adopted person (i.e. obtain an address).... the department will not give out addresses etc. without the permission of the person in question.

So, yes Cunamh are trying to locate you because somebody is trying to find you.

What Cunamh explains is they send 3 letters apparently to the adopted person and if they hear nothing back they assume the adopted person does not want to make contact nor be found. If you want to make contact with your biological family do respond to the Cunamh letter by maybe ring them but this must be a lot to take in so take your time.

But it certainly is a family member and I would assume a parent. Best of Luck a new chapter maybe waiting to be opened.

Thanks so much for the reply

rcdada

Yes, Best of Luck!!!

Please let us know how you get on.

nelly17

Big Decision - the very best of luck with it.

The Wild Bunch

I will definitely post a follow up tomorrow.

From the brief chat with the Cunamh lady, she could confirm that it was indeed the woman who gave birth to me who had enquired about me.

Thanks for the messsages of support

Terri Kiernan

The very best of luck, my son refused to want to know anything about me, but believe me your mother of life will know that you are ok and that alone is so healing please please at least give her a moment of your life, who knows you may be glad you did.
All the best
Mother of Niall
Terri

Ghekko

Hope all went well yesterday The Wild Bunch.

The Wild Bunch

Hey guys

So I went in yesterday with my girlfriend to meet the Cunamh lady, who was absolutely lovely and couldn't have been more helpful.

Went in with no expectations nor knowledge of my background (my adopted parents had always made it clear that they'd tell me whatever I wanted to know, but I was never interested.).

Anyways, found out my birth mother had me when she was 31 (I'm 29 so she's turning 60 shortly), discovered I had a half brother, and that my birth mother is a paranoid schizophrenic who's been an in-patient in a psychiatric hospital for the past 20 years - a lot to take in as I'm sure you can appreciate.

Apparently she's wrote letters to me every month for the past 10 or so years.

I was a bit over-whelmed to be honest, but felt kinda relieved afterwards to finally have heard all of this.

I've yet to decide where to go from here, although I agreed to provide Cunamh with pictures to pass on to her, and answered a few questions to pass onto her about myself.

I kind of feel bad for her, so I'd like to make whatever's left of her life as easy as possible for her.

Gonna meet with Cunamh again early next month to see where I want to go from here!

Thanks for reading

nelly17

Thanks for sharing

Ghekko

Certainly is a lot to take in. That's a hell of a lot of letters for her to have written. No doubt she will really appreciate your photos when she gets them. And it's good to have the month to think about where you yourself want to go with this. Wishing you the best with whatever you decide. You are very good to think of her welfare and I'm sure it will be a relief to her that you would like to make things easier for her. What a difference a day makes...

The Wild Bunch

Ghekko wrote: »

Certainly is a lot to take in. That's a hell of a lot of letters for her to have written. No doubt she will really appreciate your photos when she gets them. And it's good to have the month to think about where you yourself want to go with this. Wishing you the best with whatever you decide. You are very good to think of her welfare and I'm sure it will be a relief to her that you would like to make things easier for her. What a difference a day makes...

Thanks

Although the first thing that came into my head was 'Paranoid Schizophrenia - is it hereditary?'

Apparently she was adopted too and had quite a traumatic upbringing so maybe that brought it on

dharma200

amazing story.. also just to add, a diagnosis of Psch 20 years ago is also something you have to think about. Diagnosis then and now are very different, and it would be interesting to see exactly the circumstances why she ended up in residential care. You sound like a lovely person and i really hope it works out for both of you. x

nelly17

Fair point Ireland has a bit of a poor rep for mental health services in the past

The Wild Bunch

dharma200 wrote: »

amazing story.. also just to add, a diagnosis of Psch 20 years ago is also something you have to think about. Diagnosis then and now are very different, and it would be interesting to see exactly the circumstances why she ended up in residential care. You sound like a lovely person and i really hope it works out for both of you. x

Thanks for that

I agree about finding just how she ended up in care - she had my half brother 8 years after me and from what I gather she was in and out of residential care before finally settling in there for good.

Obviously she's of a sensitive nature and everything has to go through her key worker to make sure she's not too fragile to receive certain information.

rcdada

WOW!! that is a lot to take in and important information to recognize that she has been going through all this trauma in her life she has never never forgotten about you....

She is obviously in a position at the moment were her support network gave this the ok to initiate contact and as you rightly put it, she is now elderly and life should be stable and positive for her own and by you meeting your mother wow this would be remarkable and possibly what she's been searching for all these years!

I admire you and your approach, take your time, process all the information....she's had a lot of struggles by the sounds of it and you sound like a very together guy, really hope it all works out and some kind of meeting can take place and then just see what happens after that.

Best of Luck x

The Wild Bunch

rcdada wrote: »

WOW!! that is a lot to take in and important information to recognize that she has been going through all this trauma in her life she has never never forgotten about you....

She is obviously in a position at the moment were her support network gave this the ok to initiate contact and as you rightly put it, she is now elderly and life should be stable and positive for her own and by you meeting your mother wow this would be remarkable and possibly what she's been searching for all these years!

I admire you and your approach, take your time, process all the information....she's had a lot of struggles by the sounds of it and you sound like a very together guy, really hope it all works out and some kind of meeting can take place and then just see what happens after that.

Best of Luck x

Thanks for that

I've only informed my girlfriend so far as I don't really rock the boat with my adopted parents.

I know my mum would be fully supportive but my dad worries a great deal and I don't know how he'd take it

Terri Kiernan

Hi Wild Bunch
so sad to hear about your mother, but to be honest none of us really know how anything is going to work out. I myself often worry in case my son has mental problems or addiction problems etc but one thing for sure warts and all I will accept him for whom he is, please consider giving this woman a little of your time so she can end her time on earth knowing life gave her a precious gift you!.
I can only imagine what it must mean to her,tread careful and slowly and let her know you cared.
Terri

Eamo71

The Wild Bunch wrote: »

Never thought about it and never had any interest if I'm perfectly honest.

Rang Cunamh there and have arranged to meet the Cunamh lady for a chat tomorrow!

Most men don't really begin to get actively interested till their 40s or have their own kids. I'd no major interest till over a year ago and have come a long way since then. I would encourage you to go for it. But tread carefully etc...