Ex's behaviour

LegacyUser

I broke up with my ex boyfriend recently for a number of reasons.

He text me after that saying he loved me, he loved spending every second with me, he wanted to settle down with me and he was in shocked and it hurt.

I was so sad even I'm the one who broke up with him. I felt terrible that I hurt him but one day after we broke up, he sent me an email with a lot of smiley faces and he asked me to return a 2 years old broken phone which he gave to me when I broke my own phone. I will give it back to him of course as I planed to get a new phone anyway.

I suddenly feel so much better. I don't feel sad breaking up with him anymore and I lost all respect for him because the evening before he was hurt and he plant to spend his life with me and the next day he changed totally. I'm glad that I broke up with him. I never had to deal with an ex like this before ( my other ex boyfriend bought me many expensive gifts, he would get more upset when I gave them back, he wanted me to keep them or give them to charity) so this is blowing me away. I don't know why I am writing this but I'm just curious how his mood changed from sad to happy in less than a day or he is just a betty person? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Alf. A. Male

I would guess that asking you for the phone was just an excuse to contact you. Not that uncommon really. He is up and down as lots of people are in this situation, I'm sure you are too to some extent. Give it a little time and it'll stop.

retro:electro

This is just stereotypical break up behaviour. You broke up with him and be feels hard done by and now he's trying to save face with his "ill show her" attitude. His actions are his way of making you feel like he isn't bothered, when in all actuality it is probably the direct opposite. Just rise above it. Give him his phone and be done with him. He sounds very immature so take comfort in the fact that you made the right decision.

poundapunnet

The days after you've been broken up with by your long term partner are not days when you're thinking particularly straight. He might have been embarrassed about the previous show of emotion and overcompensating, like someone said above he might just have been reaching for any reason at all to contact you.

Had you discussed whether or not to stay in contact or anything?

Honestly I'd say cut the guy some slack, break ups don't bring out the best in anyone

Big Bag of Chips

I may be way off, but you sound almost disappointed that he seems to be happy and ok today, rather than begging you to get back with him again. He might be pretending to be fine. He might be genuinely fine and has accepted that it's over between you and decided to let it go and move on.

Either way, why does it matter so much to you? Why are you comparing his reaction to your ex's? No need to mention your ex buying you expensive gifts and insisting you keep them.

Break ups are tricky and confusing times.You might be happy with your decision, but yet you still have a small bit in you that wants him to be more upset about it. All normal enough post-breakup it has to be said. But you need to move on from this now. You finished with him. What he does, how he feels etc is out of your control and not really any of your business unless he starts getting nasty towards you.

LegacyUser

Thanks all for sharing your thoughts. I agree I might sounded disappointed in my first post. I wasn't disappointed at all. I just found his emotions were strange, that was why I wanted to hear what others think and of course, I fully understand what he does or feels is non of my business. I definitely don't want any beggings. I walked out of this relationship, why would I want him begging me to get back together?! and I would have felt worse if he did. I haven't contacted him since but he sent me a text asking me to keep the phone and he is sad now. So again, I don't understand what is going on with his emotion but you right, It's non of my business and I'm moving on.

Ps. I didn't mean to compare him to my ex but I just thought asking for a broken phone back after the relationship ends is very immature. If I had bought him a watch which I planed to for his birthday, I wouldn't have asked for it back. Again, people are different.

CaraMay

Maybe he wants to give the phone to charity eg jack & Jill

December2012

Give the guy a break - you just broke up with him. He's bound to be not thinking straight and he is probably trying to capitalise an opportunity to see you or keep in touch.

ash23

Pastlove wrote: »

I broke up with my ex boyfriend recently for a number of reasons.

He text me after that saying he loved me, he loved spending every second with me, he wanted to settle down with me and he was in shocked and it hurt.

I was so sad even I'm the one who broke up with him. I felt terrible that I hurt him but one day after we broke up, he sent me an email with a lot of smiley faces and he asked me to return a 2 years old broken phone which he gave to me when I broke my own phone. I will give it back to him of course as I planed to get a new phone anyway.

I suddenly feel so much better. I don't feel sad breaking up with him anymore and I lost all respect for him because the evening before he was hurt and he plant to spend his life with me and the next day he changed totally. I'm glad that I broke up with him. I never had to deal with an ex like this before ( my other ex boyfriend bought me many expensive gifts, he would get more upset when I gave them back, he wanted me to keep them or give them to charity) so this is blowing me away. I don't know why I am writing this but I'm just curious how his mood changed from sad to happy in less than a day or he is just a betty person? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Your own feelings about him changed after less than a day simply because he asked for the phone back. So you're being as fickle as he is.

There are ups and downs in a breakup and people cope with being dumped in their own way. Personally I tend to take a long break after being in a relationship but others tend to get with someone else as quickly as possible.