Over before it's even begun?

sjbc_84

New member here. First thread seeking advice though.....

I am a 30 year old gay male and have been seeing this guy for about 2 months now. It's still all quite new and casual and we meet up about twice a week or so to go for beers, cinema or whatever takes our fancy. So far I've been enjoying the whole dating thing with him. We stay in contact quite a lot and text each other a fair bit and so far I think it's all been going well.

But....I've begun thinking that things between us might be fizzling out though. He was away for a few days with friends and I didn't really hear that much from him. It's been me texting him just to say hello and hope he is enjoying his trip away etc. Obviously when you are away with your pals you are enjoying yourself and you wouldn't be in contact with people at home that much, which is fine. He is the first person that I felt quite strongly about in a long while.

When I next see him I am thinking of having a chat with him just to see where things are going. I do like him a lot but I also don't want to get hurt if he wants to cool things and just say friends.

Am I being silly? Am I overthinking things? Thoughts and advice please

lifeandtimes

well in all relationships there is always a chance of being hurt,thats what opening yourself up to someone entails...

In my opinion two months is still kinda early but thats my opinion,however no one can tell you and him what is or isnt early for a relationship as its up to you two.

Only way of finding out is asking him if he sees this going further or if its a casual thing.

Wish you all the best

sjbc_84

lifeandtimes wrote: »

well in all relationships there is always a chance of being hurt,thats what opening yourself up to someone entails...

In my opinion two months is still kinda early but thats my opinion,however no one can tell you and him what is or isnt early for a relationship as its up to you two.

Only way of finding out is asking him if he sees this going further or if its a casual thing.

Wish you all the best

Those are my thoughts exactly. I probably won't see him until the weekend so I think I will raise the subject then and see what happens. I know I like him a lot as I think about him all the time, as corny as that sounds :P

Jessica-Rabbit

sjbc_84 wrote: »

Those are my thoughts exactly. I probably won't see him until the weekend so I think I will raise the subject then and see what happens. I know I like him a lot as I think about him all the time, as corny as that sounds :P

I don't think it sounds corny at all, its a very positive sign on your part that you have strong feelings for him as if he feels the same then it could be a wonderful relationship, as neither of you would be settling and just going through the motions.
I personally wouldn't think after two months that its too soon to ask him if he see's a future because it will either give you the reassurance you need or if he tells you he wants to remain friends although you will be hurt of course, but the hurt wouldn't be as bad as it would if you left it for six months or so.

Best of luck op, hope it all works out

sjbc_84

Thank you both for the advise so far.

He got back from his holiday away late last night and he texted me when he arrived home and was on the way to stay at his mates house. I'd not heard from him in two days so I was perhaps freaking out a little. I think I am beginning to have strong feelings for him so it might be time to ask him where things are going. The dates we have been going on have been lovely, we've been enjoying each others company and having a good laugh. Even if he just wanted to be just friends, I think I would still want him in my life as he is such a lovely guy. He is the first person I have felt like this about since I came out of a long term relationship 2 years ago.

I hate the uncertainty you get at the start of a possible new relationship sometimes!

Jessica-Rabbit

sjbc_84 wrote: »

Thank you both for the advise so far.

He got back from his holiday away late last night and he texted me when he arrived home and was on the way to stay at his mates house. I'd not heard from him in two days so I was perhaps freaking out a little. I think I am beginning to have strong feelings for him so it might be time to ask him where things are going. The dates we have been going on have been lovely, we've been enjoying each others company and having a good laugh. Even if he just wanted to be just friends, I think I would still want him in my life as he is such a lovely guy. He is the first person I have felt like this about since I came out of a long term relationship 2 years ago.

I hate the uncertainty you get at the start of a possible new relationship sometimes!

That's always a good sign when the date's are going well, and there is always that excitement at the beginning of a relationship, getting worried about not hearing back from a text is all part of the fun its the butterfly's and nerves.
I totally understand not liking the uncertainty but unfortunately that's all part of a new relationship and in time will pass, the fact that he has texted you when he returned home late in the night show's he's attentive and was thinking of you.

It's seems its looking good so far

sjbc_84

Yeah I've had a couple of long term relationships and they started off similar to this too. The butterflies and nerves re: keeping in contact.

It was 1am when he texted me late last night, I was still up and was glad to hear from him. I took it as a good sign that he got in contact with me so late.

I have been taking things quite casually and slowly with him over the past few weeks. I ended up quite hurt when my last relationship ended and am being cautious about possibly entering in a new relationship with this guy.

I need to let the barriers down a little and stop overthinking things!