I cant stop lieing

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I'm just looking for a bit of advice.

I am a 33 year old married male who cannot stop lieing to everyone. I not talking big lies (like I'm dieing etc.), but small lies on day to day stuff.

For as long as i remember i have been exaggerating or telling lies. I'm guessing this is to make myself look the big man, or more interesting & comes as second nature.

Every-time i open my mouth, i am nearly exaggerating or making up bull**** stories & its too late before i realise it. I just cant seem to stop myself.

Its now at the stage where this is affecting my relationship with my wife, (she has copped onto me & is sick of it) & im afraid im going to loose her.

What can i do to stop myself wrecking my life & destroying my wife life.

Tokyo

In my experience, when people compulsively lie about every little thing like you do, it's usually a sign of low self esteem - they don't see themselves as good enough the way they are, and feel the need to embellish their stories in order to boost their own self image. And after a lifetime of doing it, it can be a difficult habit to break.

For what it's worth, it's a good thing that you are aware of the issue - many people cruise through life blissfully unaware of the fact that they have to embellish every little thing to the point where everything they say is taken with a pinch of salt. Seeing a counsellor about this is definitely worth considering, but have you considered being honest with your wife about this - that it's something that bothers you and that you want to seek help with it? You might find that she'd be quite supportive in this, and may be far more patient and understanding if she realises that you see it as an issue, and it's something that you are seeking help with.

LegacyUser

mike_ie wrote: »

In my experience, when people compulsively lie about every little thing like you do, it's usually a sign of low self esteem - they don't see themselves as good enough the way they are, and feel the need to embellish their stories in order to boost their own self image. And after a lifetime of doing it, it can be a difficult habit to break.

For what it's worth, it's a good thing that you are aware of the issue - many people cruise through life blissfully unaware of the fact that they have to embellish every little thing to the point where everything they say is taken with a pinch of salt. Seeing a counsellor about this is definitely worth considering, but have you considered being honest with your wife about this - that it's something that bothers you and that you want to seek help with it? You might find that she'd be quite supportive in this, and may be far more patient and understanding if she realises that you see it as an issue, and it's something that you are seeking help with.

OP here,

I do realise what im doing, but i just cant seem to stop myself. Its really starting to come between my wife & myself.

I constantly upsetting her & she doesn't deserve it.

How do i stop doing this?

Merkin

I think you probably need to go and see your GP and ask for a specialist referral. Compulsive lying can come under a number of personality disorders, I worked with a girl who lied compulsively and it was frightening to witness. I understand that it's not just as simple as stopping, it is compulsive after all. Go and seek medical help and a psychiatrist will be in a position to make a formal diagnosis and advise treatment.

ifaptwohanded

I work with someone similar to you op and he is constantly telling lies, i always thought it was lack of confidence and he just wanted to be liked and fit in. Everyone in work knows he does but he's a nice guy and harmless.

OP you recognize you tell lies but you need to go get professional help especially if it's starting to become between you and your wife.