stuck in a rut

LegacyUser

I am a lone parent bringing up my daughter since she was a baby

Due to having no relatives or help. I have stayed in the last 6 years and not had one single night out in that time

I was working for the first 5 years but gave up work as found it too hard when school started to do both

During the day I am always out and about, going to the gym etc but night times are very long

Im now back in full time employment but most of my money goes on afterschool and child care costs. I cant even carry on going to the gym as it involves paying more to the child minder and is also an hour more in the evenings Im away from my daughter when I need to have her home, getting her ready for the next day

I feel the last few years have just sailed by in terms of meeting a nice woman as Im never out. Im now 36 and most of my friends are all settled down or moved on so I wouldnt even have people to go out with now even if I could get out

I am fine with this most of the time, I accept and its ok but sometimes people tell me I should get out at night or meet a nice woman and it will play on my mind

I would like to, Im not desperate to meet someone but it would be nice to still at least go to the gym

Maybe im not seeing the wood for the trees but does anyone have any ideas? I feel like its a chicken and egg situation?

blatantrereg

You could get equipment to exercise at home. Don't have to spend a fortune on it to figure out something that suits you.

Internet dating might be worth a look.

I think it might be a good idea to try to get to know other parents of kids in your daughter's class, or other parents of similar ages. They could have your kid over sometimes and vice-versa perhaps, or you could socialise with them with your kids included. You might meet women of interest to you by socialising in that way also.

m'lady

Personally I don't think setting up equipment in your house is a great idea as I get the impression that it's the social aspect that you miss?

Have you not got anyone that you could ask to take your daughter for an hour or so or even the odd night? How about work, do you have any friends in there that maybe are in similar situations?

There is a dating website aimed at single parents, I'm unsure of the name but I'm sure you could find it- perhaps even getting talking to women that are single parents might be an outlet for you, and you never know you could meet someone nice on it!

As your daughter gets older it will get a bit easier I think.

ManOfMystery

Not sure I have any useful answer to your original query OP but I just wanted to say that you thoroughly deserve a few nights out after 6yrs of making sacrifices and raising a child on your own. We had our first child this year and whilst I'm married and we both pitch in, it's still hard work - I can only imagine it would be even harder as a single parent with no relatives or such nearby. Putting your daughter first 100% of the time is commendable, but make sure you try and have some social life and don't feel bad about it either - happy daddy equals happy child.

Good luck

JuliusCaesar

blatantrereg wrote: »

Internet dating might be worth a look.

I think it might be a good idea to try to get to know other parents of kids in your daughter's class, or other parents of similar ages. They could have your kid over sometimes and vice-versa perhaps, or you could socialise with them with your kids included. You might meet women of interest to you by socialising in that way also.

You don't need equipment to exercise - you can walk, swim (take your child).

Sleepovers on a regular basis are brilliant. Free childminding, and your child will enjoy them.

Join one of the organisations for single parents, they often organise social events. OneFamily, Gingerbread. MeetUp might also have something suitable.

Obliq

Definitely look into organising sleepovers OP, but usually play-dates would come first so that the kids get used to spending time in each other's houses. If you were to be able to talk to one of your child's friend's parents, maybe offer a weekend day for a play date, and then maybe they'd reciprocate after school one day. Take it from there...

I'm wondering do you have family to call on from time to time to help? You've clearly been totally selfless towards your child, but you've paid for that dearly with no arrangements in place to give yourself a break. Does your child have grandparents she gets on with?

Edit: Oh sorry, just read the no relatives part. How about close friends with kids of their own? I don't want to make differences here, but I'd say men are a bit more shy about asking friends can they help out once in a while......