Cost of hen / stag party

streetcar

Mods, apologies in advance, please move if needed.
I have been looking through previous posts in this forum but cant seem to find an up to date post on this topic.
My question is this: when you are invited to a hen party / stag party - how much on average are you happy to spend on the money that is often needed up front to organise the trip (i.e. transport, activities, dinner etc.)

I know that there are many, many types of hen / stag parties. I think that I have listed the most common below. I would probably be the most interested in options (b), (d) or (e)
(a) a weekend (or a few days) away outside of Ireland
(b) a weekend (or a few days) away in Ireland
(c) a day/night away abroad
(d) a day/night away in Ireland (but not your hometown - i.e. you stayed overnight)
(e) a day/night away in your home county / nearest city (e.g. a day & night out in Dublin / Cork / Galway / Belfast etc where you could go home at the end of it)

Background: I am my sisters bridesmaid (the only one and a first timer). She wants to do something like option (e) because she doesnt want people to spend too much money on the occassion. she is getting married in Ireland but people from both sides will have to book a hotel for at least one night to attend.
Some of her friends have mentioned a weekend away for her and they seem quite up for it but I would never want to organise something that would cost more than what the majority of people are willing / can afford to pay
I have looked up acitivities to do for option (e) and think I could plan a pretty fun day for everyone. The last thing i want to do is put anyone under any pressure at all, so based on responses, I would perhaps tailor some of the day so that it could suit most peoples budgets.
Sorry for the long-winded post!

lazygal

I don't do weekend hen parties. I don't see the point of the time and expense. I'm also not keen on organised fun activities like dance lessons or hiking. Dinner and drinks at a midrange restaurant and bar is all I'd sign up for. Maybe a spend of up to €100 if we're covering bride's costs and drinks.

Typer Monkey

I think it's probably best to listen to what the bride has told you she wants. I'm just having a night out in a local pub, no meal, no 'organised fun', no costumes and minimal expense for those attending. That's what I want and I told my bridesmaid that that's what I want. I'd be very annoyed tbh if she decided to arrange something completely different because some if my friends suggested it.

Anyway, back to your question..it's a bit like how long is a piece of string. What people would be happy to pay would largely depend on their circumstances , financial and otherwise, I'd imagine. I'd be a bit miffed if I was asked to pay a lot for activities, bring a gift for the hen on top of accommodation costs, food, drink and travel. I've gone to a lot of hens over the years, a lot of weekends away in Ireland and nights out locally here in Dublin. My preference is probably obvious considering what I'm doing for my own hen!

The only time I think I'd opt out of a hen completely is if it was abroad and if it was in Ireland I'd only be going for one night. I have a daughter and it just wouldn't suit.

Probably doesn't answer your question at all really does it?:pac:

Addle

It's up to the bride to be. Do whatever she wants to do.

streetcar

I will be doing what the bride wants - but i suppose i put in the other options to break out the different types of parties.
Really, I am looking for the average amount people are willing to spend on a hen party - option (e) preferably.

Milly33

Think id like something like option e too, I don't get just going to the pub for the night, that is what you would always do. Nothing different about it.

Have a nice weekend where ye all get together, do stupid girly things.. Ask questions about how the couple met and funny stories.

Could do something like have a quiz and get the bride to ans questions and then maybe on the wedding day itself if those why went can still remember the ans then they get like a free bottle of vino..Silly things like that. There is lots you could do...

Have you looked into perhaps renting a house for the weekend. This can often or well tis cheaper than staying in a hotel or it is in most cases.

I went on one recently just staying in the hotel and going to the pub and to be honest it was like mmm why..€68 each for the hotel which I thought was a complete waste really could have stayed in a bnb for that.

I know there was a place in clonakilty cork where you can rent the house for the weekend, then maybe do some late night canoeing, or arrange a beautician to come in and do the nails things like that.

You can also do all that yourself.

I would think max for a weekend I would €100 times are tough, or maybe €150 but after that I would kinda expect things like food and all that to be either sorted or very cheap..

jlm29

I got a text the other day looking for €150 for a one night away in Ireland(Galway) hen. There's a lot included, and I won't need much spending money, but I'd prefer if that cost was lower- or if there was an option to lower it -ie.- if you're coming on the bus for the activity the meal, the night club, the hotel, give us €150, but if you'd like to leave some bit of that out, your costs will reduce accordingly.
It's also very annoying when asked to pay for "an activity" but not told what it is. For that other hen, I'm paying for the bus, and an activity, but to be honest, I'd rather drive myself, because I have a small child, and it's not always possible to get away early, and I don't particularly want to spend the following day hanging around waiting for everyone either. If the mystery activity turns out to be something I would absolutely hate, I will probably skip it.
So basically, up to €150 would be ok (for a good friend) but personally, I'd rather have it around the €100-€120 mark, and avoid bonding activities that I don't particularly enjoy doing anyhow.
I do understand that a hen would be awfully difficult to organise if everyone was picking and choosing what they want to do.

kkcatlou

I counted up recently and I've been to 22 hens in the past few years (I know!!), so just based on experience, here's in and around the norm of what I've had to pay.

a) a weekend (or a few days) away outside of Ireland - never done one of these, but I'd imagine about €300-400
(b) a weekend (or a few days) away in Ireland €100-€180
(c) a day/night away abroad - would you even do this??
(d) a day/night away in Ireland (but not your hometown - i.e. you stayed overnight) - €100
(e) a day/night away in your home county / nearest city (e.g. a day & night out in Dublin / Cork / Galway / Belfast etc where you could go home at the end of it) - €50-€100.

I'm going for option (e) myself, despite many protestations, but having organised 4 and been to 22, it is by far the easiest and cheapest for everyone. I've said I want it to be max €50 per person, although if drinks are included, then €70-80 is acceptable I think. I have no idea what they will do though.

We did my sister's last year for €100 per person for 2 nights in a hostel, all meals and a brilliant activity. Not being biased, but most people on it said it was one of the best hens they'd been on and we've since got emails from friends of people who were at it asking for advice.

streetcar

Thanks guys for the breakdown!
I will definitely be organising a day/night out in Dublin after speaking to my sister over lunch. Think its the best option for her and to be honest, I would probably be looking to do something similar myself.
I will be looking at what we can do during the day - nothing crazy but I dont want to make it all about drinking either.

kkcatlou - thanks so much for the details you provided.

I am thinking something fun for the mid afternoon, a few drinks, a private room for a meal in a restaurant in town and then out for the night. I would hope to budget the activity, some drinks & the meal (inlcd wine) for about 70 euro. Hopefully people will be happy with that and the bride enjoys it!

homemadecider

For mine we're going to a 4-star hotel with a Girl's Night In package. It's €99 a head and it includes:

• Use of a private room in the hotel for a few hours to play hen games, chat, have some drinks
• 3 course meal in the restaurant with a glass of Prosecco
• Overnight stay in the hotel
• Breakfast the next morning

The only extra expense will be drinks and it's up to each person how much to spend on that. So far the feedback is good, I think people are relieved they don't have to go away for a while weekend and spend a fortune.

kkcatlou

streetcar wrote: »

I am thinking something fun for the mid afternoon, a few drinks, a private room for a meal in a restaurant in town and then out for the night. I would hope to budget the activity, some drinks & the meal (inlcd wine) for about 70 euro. Hopefully people will be happy with that and the bride enjoys it!

That sounds great to me Streetcar....I might put my sisters onto you.

The two bits of advice I've given them for organising a one day/ night affair is
1. Include a fun activity. If it's only one day/ night, this is the only chance people will have to mix with everyone there. I've been to one night hens where there is no activity and everybody sticks to their own group, and there is no mixing and ultimately it makes it less fun. The only thing though is, the activity can't be too messy as there probably won't be a chance to change after.

2. Don't give options like you would for a weekend hen. Either you're in or you're out. None of this, I can make the activity, but not the meal, but then I'll be back for drinks crap! It's logistically a nightmare for the organisers, you're making it cheap in the first place, and you want everyone to be properly there. I would much rather have 10 people fully there than 20 people half there and probably resenting being there for the time they're there! I know it'll mean I'll lose some people, but it's a risk worth taking in terms of providing a fun night for all the people who actually want to be there.

coats

For my hens in august, I will be doing something like bowling with my 10 year old during the day, just because I want her to feel included. In the evening, will be having dinner in Captain Americas and maybe a few drinks/dancing in town (Dublin) then home to bed. I would be horrified at the thought of asking anyone to fork out €100+ for any sort of night away. All ya need is the company of your nearest and dearest ladies.

Ihatecuddles

I'm getting married in 2 weeks and still haven't done anything

I didn't want people spending any more money than they had to with the wedding. I felt embarrassed asking people to do something so centred around me. I know that's ridiculous!!

Toots

homemadecider wrote: »

For mine we're going to a 4-star hotel with a Girl's Night In package. It's €99 a head and it includes:

• Use of a private room in the hotel for a few hours to play hen games, chat, have some drinks
• 3 course meal in the restaurant with a glass of Prosecco
• Overnight stay in the hotel
• Breakfast the next morning

The only extra expense will be drinks and it's up to each person how much to spend on that. So far the feedback is good, I think people are relieved they don't have to go away for a while weekend and spend a fortune.

That sounds really good value! Do you mind me asking where it is? I've a friend getting married later in the year and she's looking for hen ideas that don't break the bank.

Gatica

Been to a handful of hens.

e) 2 were just a low key dinner with handful of girls in our hometown with a couple of small classy presents for the bride and a few of those questions game. After dinner a drink at a bar and home to bed after an early night.
The only other one that was a night-out hen, was night away for me as I wasn't local. Cost 100 for dinner and visit to nail salon (the activity). The bridesmaid organised drinks at the salon with nibbles. It was really good fun. In addition though I paid around 100 for a night at a hotel plus bus.

b) Couple of others were weekends away with activities. One was murder mystery on one night and karaoke on another. I don't usually do karaoke, but it was really good fun and we loved the murder mystery dress up. The other was an active weekend, running/surfing. There were 2-3 girls who opted not to take part, their choice. In that case I think you really need to let people choose whether they can/will go swimming in freezing Irish waters. Turned out one of them was pregnant, so it was defo a no-no for her. Both cost in the region of 150 Euro, including food.

d) Mine was a night away, cost 115 Euro, including a mini spa treatment. Anyone who wanted could book full treatments at an extra cost. It was a relaxing afternoon at a spa, nice dinner, a few games and drinks in a cottage with my friends and lovely walk next morning before heading home.

I think region of 100 is fine. Though it depends on your group of friends and their circumstances. Young and carefree, or already settled with kids?
When it was 150 or more, most of us still went. It would be different once people have kids though. Less time, less disposable income, more responsibility...

michellie

Toots* wrote: »

That sounds really good value! Do you mind me asking where it is? I've a friend getting married later in the year and she's looking for hen ideas that don't break the bank.

+1 I would love to know too

kkcatlou

michellie wrote: »

+1 I would love to know too

Not trying to be negative, but that doesn't sound like great value to me. There are hundreds of hotels in Ireland offering 2 nights B&B + one evening meal for €100 these days (go onto Lidl breaks or Today FM breaks to see), and the use of a function room for a few hours is not worth that much. There is no activity included and no drink included and it's for one night!

Put a little bit of imagination into it and shop around and you could get a lot more fun for a lot less money!

As I said, we did my sisters - 2 nights, all food (4 meals we prepared ourselves, one in a fancy restaurant), all drinks until midnight the Saturday night, a great activity, loads of games, for €100 per person! It meant a bit more work on our part alright, rather than booking a package on henparty.ie but everyone agreed it was worth it.

homemadecider

Toots* wrote: »

That sounds really good value! Do you mind me asking where it is? I've a friend getting married later in the year and she's looking for hen ideas that don't break the bank.

No problem, it's the Gibson hotel in Dublin.

http://www.thegibsonhotel.ie/

The Cool

I recently went to one in Sligo that was €150 for the weekend but included:
-two nights stay in a lovely hotel, with breakfast both mornings
-a cocktail making class which included LOADS of drinks!
-a 3 course meal
- entry into a nightclub with a VIP area and a round of drinks.
There was also the option of just the Saturday night, for 100.

As I'm not in the best financial situation at the minute I could have done without forking over the cash but I didn't mind too much because (a) it was pretty good value for money and (b) it meant a lot to me to be there for the bride's weekend.
If it was more expensive or only included 1 night for the price, or if it had been for a bride I'm not as close to, I wouldn't have bothered.

ALSO: just wanted to add that the wedding is abroad; the stag package was something similar, but was also abroad so you'd have to add on your flights etc. For this reason, my OH didn't attend the stag. There's only so much you can ask of people really.

Curlysue76

I was recently asked to my now sister in laws hen. It was a 2 nighter with 1 dinner included, some really tacky activities and it was €260 each. It way way too expensive for me and to be honest I was glad I didn't go. I love the girl to bits but she is 12 yrs younger than me and it was her younger sister organising it, I just would not have enjoyed the activities she had planned.

One other sister didn't go so I didn't feel like the odd one out. My older sister went as she felt she had to, it really wasn't her cup of tea either but she felt she couldn't not go. Myself and my sister who didn't go could say it was the expense that ruled us out.

I would have loved a night out locally, dinner, dancing, drinking and back home again, for say €70 max.