Confused signals from a girl

LegacyUser

A little long but bear with me. (I think I know the answer)

I was working as crew (multiple teams) on a weekend event running various activities and generally helping out.

On Friday night the rest of my crew and I were sitting down in the canteen and having a quick bite to eat and were joined by a lady from a different crew (her crew had gone to bed).

We got chatting and had a nice conversation. We finished up talking around 12:30am and headed our own separate ways (single sex sleeping quarters and dorms)

The following day I was working on an event and as I was taking a quick break I bumped (she was heading over to my event) into the same lady. She was also on a break and we ended up spending some time walking, talking and a bit of flirting. Nothing serious.

After we break we went our respective ways.

Several hours later towards the end of day as my crew and I were in the canteen eating the same lady joined us again and again we had a nice conversation and some flirting. We finished up talking around 12:30am and headed our own separate ways.

The following day was a crazy event work day. Worked several hours in the rain without a break. During that time the same lady who had a free day came up to event I was looking after and spent most of her time there talking and chatting to my crew (crew was different from the previous crew. Only person who was the same was me) including me.

As it was raining I mentioned I was cold/wet and then she went and got my a nice hot drink and some food as a surprise to warm up. A nice gesture (she also got some for the rest of the crew).

Once the event was over she stayed with us, helped tidy up and join my crew for dinner. We had a good time, loads of laughs and got to know a bit about each other etc.

After dinner we again went our separate ways. Later that night there was a crew only event and as I was talking to some friends she came up to me and chatted for about 1 hour. During this time there was a fair bit of flirting and she was touching my arm, some nice eye contact time etc. Again we went our separate ways around 12:30am.

Final day was clean and go home. Everyone was extremely busy and there was no spare time. After a final check we again bumped into each other so I asked her for her number which she gave me.

I texted her 2 days later asking had she recovered etc and would she like to meet for lunch ? No reply. In hindsight I should have phoned her instead of texting.

Now I'm in a quandry. Do I take the lack of a reply to the text as an indication that she is not interested or maybe that she prefers a phone call ?

Should I wait a few more days and just ring her and based on the results of phone call figure it out or just not ring her as there was no reply to the text ?

Tokyo

Hard to say. She could be interested and it slipped her mind to reply/hasn't gotten around to texting you yet, or maybe she was just looking fro someone to pass the time with while the event was taking place, and is back in her old routine again. Unfortunately the only person who knows that is her. The only way you're going to get a satisfactory answer one way or the other is to talk to her, so personally if I didn't get a text back in the next day or two, I'd give her a call and see if she was interested in meeting up for a bite to eat over the weekend, and gauge her reaction. You may not get the answer you want, but at least then you'll know.

LegacyUser

So I was just going to ring the lady and I got a txt from her along the lines of

"Hi MyName, :-). Sorry for the delay but I've been packing/unpacking as I'm heading home tomorrow and will be gone all summer. I had a great weekend. I would love to meet for Lunch. Have a great summer :-) LadysName"

I replied thanking her for the txt reply and that as she had my number the ball was in her court to contact me when she is back.

I should say I did know she was heading as she told me over the weekend but I forgot which day (home is outside of Ireland).

Personally I don't think I will hear from her again. Was I too harsh in my reply ? Any opinions ?

I can normally read people and understand their intent but in this case I feel like we both really clicked with each other and as I really like her I think my judgment is clouded.

The best course of action might be to enjoy the summer and if I get a txt after the summer great and if not well thats ok as well.

Tokyo

You seem to be making a simple situation woefully complicated to be honest, and if you continue to do so then there's a fair chance that she's going to pick up on it.

The facts are pretty simple - for the next three months or so you're both going to be far enough apart not to be meeting up regularly, if at all, so your choices are twofold:

1. You can decide to ignore her from here on in.
2. You can drop a text back and forth and see what happens, without all of the forced 'something-has-to-happen-or-else' feelings that you are putting on the situation.

Personally I'd go with the latter, and see what develops. Possibly nothing, but then again you never know, she might enjoy the texting back and forth and would be happy to hang out when she gets back. Either way you have nothing to lose by keeping in touch, and everything to gain, be it a friend or something more.

And a word for the wise - don't say things like "the ball is in your court" if you text her again - it makes it sound like you don't care one way or the other.

Penny Tration

To add to what mike said about how 'the ball's in your court' comes across - I'd read that as the guy throwing a strop because I didn't instantly suggest a day, and it'd turn me off.

What's the harm in texting a bit, keeping it friendly, and not getting so wound up about it? She said she'd love a date, what more do you want?

sligoface

Also agree that saying to a woman 'the ball is in your court' is OTT and could easily turn a woman off.