?

LegacyUser

To begin with, I'm not completely sure how I feel. As far as I can tell, I feel a mixture of loneliness (even though I have some very good friends and know many people) and detachment from the world.

Recently enough I've been doing something thinking and reflecting on a number of issues in my life (??) but I'll get to the one at hand: I'm finding it difficult to meet someone like myself.

By this I don't specifically mean a woman, but people who are like me and have the same qualities/ morals/ beliefs. I'm not perfect by any means, but I do try to perfect many things that I do.

Looking back on my life, many people I considered to be close/ best friends have disappointed me. I've seen true colours of some friends and still have to REALLY get to know others. But thus far, the way some friends act/ behave/ think has really been getting to me. Am I being too pessimistic and only looking at their negatives? For example, recently enough, a very close friend of mine, a guy who I can share almost everything with, has started to call me "Robin Hood" because he sees me as too much of a "good" person. This alone has stopped me from texting/ calling him recently. Why should I bother spend time with people who don't appreciate who I really am? After knowing him for so long and all...

Also, I don't know if I'm being paranoid or whatever, but another friend I've been close with nearly all my life has started to resent me. I can see the way he feels I've been handed things and have had an easy life financially. Its not my fault. I worked hard in school. I didn't get 585 without hard work.

But what really gets to me is when I meet fun people and seem to be getting along but realize that they aren't on the same mental level as me. Don't get me wrong- I'm no genius- but intelligence is something really important for me. I honestly don't mean to come across as big headed- I'm not. I try to be as humble as possible because I could have easily not have been in this position, and just because I am now, doesn't imply I will be in future.

Now, I love both of my parents dearly, and I could never pick one over the other, but if there is one person on this planet who I can say I connect with the most- its my dear Father. I don't think he realizes how much he means to me. The worst part is- he's not in the best of health and being a chain- smoker doesn't help his case either. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him.

When it comes to women: either she is good-looking and fun and has no brains or the opposite. In one case, one girl I've been texting is good looking and smart- but a complete nut job. I have stopped texting said girl. I'm no Brad Pitt- and honestly, looks don't mean all that much to me, but she has to be easy on the eye in one way or the other. I don't know what to do.



And I know I'm not all that. I drink to excess 95% of the time I go out, I smoke a lot of weed, and I've gotten into my share of street fights. But I know I'm not a bad person. I genuinely care about people, even strangers. I think I trust people too early and become too emotionally attached to some.

I realize this is a rant. Its 7 in the morning and I've been awake since yesterday. I suppose I've written this post partly to get sh*t off my chest and partly to seek genuine advice: What do I do to find the right people?

Thanks.

blatantrereg

Feeling lonely and detached from the world - you would be better off not drinking lots and smoking lots of weed.

I've gotten into my share of street fights. But I know I'm not a bad person. I genuinely care about people, even strangers. I think I trust people too early and become too emotionally attached to some.

Caring about people doesn't make you a good person. How you feel doesn't make too much difference really - it's how you act that matters. You seem to have started fights with strangers from what you've said. That's a reason to think that maybe you are being a bad person. It's also another reason to stop drinking to excess. Trusting people too early or getting too emotionally attached does not make you a good person either.

If you spend your time getting drunk and stoned and getting into fights then you'll meet people who get drunk and stoned and get into fights. If you want to meet people who don't like stuff like that then stop doing it yourself so that they might have some interest in meeting you.

Lou.m

What'sGO wrote: »

To begin with, I'm not completely sure how I feel. As far as I can tell, I feel a mixture of loneliness (even though I have some very good friends and know many people) and detachment from the world.

Recently enough I've been doing something thinking and reflecting on a number of issues in my life (??) but I'll get to the one at hand: I'm finding it difficult to meet someone like myself.

By this I don't specifically mean a woman, but people who are like me and have the same qualities/ morals/ beliefs. I'm not perfect by any means, but I do try to perfect many things that I do.

Looking back on my life, many people I considered to be close/ best friends have disappointed me. I've seen true colours of some friends and still have to REALLY get to know others. But thus far, the way some friends act/ behave/ think has really been getting to me. Am I being too pessimistic and only looking at their negatives? For example, recently enough, a very close friend of mine, a guy who I can share almost everything with, has started to call me "Robin Hood" because he sees me as too much of a "good" person. This alone has stopped me from texting/ calling him recently. Why should I bother spend time with people who don't appreciate who I really am? After knowing him for so long and all...

Also, I don't know if I'm being paranoid or whatever, but another friend I've been close with nearly all my life has started to resent me. I can see the way he feels I've been handed things and have had an easy life financially. Its not my fault. I worked hard in school. I didn't get 585 without hard work.

But what really gets to me is when I meet fun people and seem to be getting along but realize that they aren't on the same mental level as me. Don't get me wrong- I'm no genius- but intelligence is something really important for me. I honestly don't mean to come across as big headed- I'm not. I try to be as humble as possible because I could have easily not have been in this position, and just because I am now, doesn't imply I will be in future.

Now, I love both of my parents dearly, and I could never pick one over the other, but if there is one person on this planet who I can say I connect with the most- its my dear Father. I don't think he realizes how much he means to me. The worst part is- he's not in the best of health and being a chain- smoker doesn't help his case either. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him.

When it comes to women: either she is good-looking and fun and has no brains or the opposite. In one case, one girl I've been texting is good looking and smart- but a complete nut job. I have stopped texting said girl. I'm no Brad Pitt- and honestly, looks don't mean all that much to me, but she has to be easy on the eye in one way or the other. I don't know what to do.



And I know I'm not all that. I drink to excess 95% of the time I go out, I smoke a lot of weed, and I've gotten into my share of street fights. But I know I'm not a bad person. I genuinely care about people, even strangers. I think I trust people too early and become too emotionally attached to some.

I realize this is a rant. Its 7 in the morning and I've been awake since yesterday. I suppose I've written this post partly to get sh*t off my chest and partly to seek genuine advice: What do I do to find the right people?

Thanks.

This post is the most contradictory sociopathic and self regarding I have read in a while.

And I know I'm not all that. I drink to excess 95% of the time I go out, I smoke a lot of weed, and I've gotten into my share of street fights. But I know I'm not a bad person.

Add in cocaine and you would be my ex (grits teeth). Feeling don't matter actions do.

But what really gets to me is when I meet fun people and seem to be getting along but realize that they aren't on the same mental level as me. Don't get me wrong- I'm no genius- but intelligence is something really important for me. I honestly don't mean to come across as big headed- I'm not. I try to be as humble as possible because I could have easily not have been in this position, and just because I am now, doesn't imply I will be in future.

You don't come across as humble but self centered.

I'm no Brad Pitt- and honestly, looks don't mean all that much to me, but she has to be easy on the eye in one way or the other.

A complete contradiction in terms. You have an idolized idea of yourself as a person. Actually you don't come across as a very good person but as a narcissist.

It sounds like your friends are sick of you laying around smoking weed etc. Who boasts about what they got in school? Who even boasts about what degree they got?

It's time to cut the crap. My ex was an annoying self centered manipulative violent drug brat. He lost me and all his good friends and only met people like himself.

To find the right people you need to be the right people. Intelligent kind hardworking people will not tolerate that behavior of yours.

I did once and I swear I will never do it again. He became violent and his attitude was very similar to yours.

You are living like a teenager.

Lou.m

What'sGO wrote: »

To begin with, I'm not completely sure how I feel. As far as I can tell, I feel a mixture of loneliness (even though I have some very good friends and know many people) and detachment from the world.

Recently enough I've been doing something thinking and reflecting on a number of issues in my life (??) but I'll get to the one at hand: I'm finding it difficult to meet someone like myself.

By this I don't specifically mean a woman, but people who are like me and have the same qualities/ morals/ beliefs. I'm not perfect by any means, but I do try to perfect many things that I do.

Looking back on my life, many people I considered to be close/ best friends have disappointed me. I've seen true colours of some friends and still have to REALLY get to know others. But thus far, the way some friends act/ behave/ think has really been getting to me. Am I being too pessimistic and only looking at their negatives? For example, recently enough, a very close friend of mine, a guy who I can share almost everything with, has started to call me "Robin Hood" because he sees me as too much of a "good" person. This alone has stopped me from texting/ calling him recently. Why should I bother spend time with people who don't appreciate who I really am? After knowing him for so long and all...

Also, I don't know if I'm being paranoid or whatever, but another friend I've been close with nearly all my life has started to resent me. I can see the way he feels I've been handed things and have had an easy life financially. Its not my fault. I worked hard in school. I didn't get 585 without hard work.

But what really gets to me is when I meet fun people and seem to be getting along but realize that they aren't on the same mental level as me. Don't get me wrong- I'm no genius- but intelligence is something really important for me. I honestly don't mean to come across as big headed- I'm not. I try to be as humble as possible because I could have easily not have been in this position, and just because I am now, doesn't imply I will be in future.

Now, I love both of my parents dearly, and I could never pick one over the other, but if there is one person on this planet who I can say I connect with the most- its my dear Father. I don't think he realizes how much he means to me. The worst part is- he's not in the best of health and being a chain- smoker doesn't help his case either. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him.

When it comes to women: either she is good-looking and fun and has no brains or the opposite. In one case, one girl I've been texting is good looking and smart- but a complete nut job. I have stopped texting said girl. I'm no Brad Pitt- and honestly, looks don't mean all that much to me, but she has to be easy on the eye in one way or the other. I don't know what to do.



And I know I'm not all that. I drink to excess 95% of the time I go out, I smoke a lot of weed, and I've gotten into my share of street fights. But I know I'm not a bad person. I genuinely care about people, even strangers. I think I trust people too early and become too emotionally attached to some.

I realize this is a rant. Its 7 in the morning and I've been awake since yesterday. I suppose I've written this post partly to get sh*t off my chest and partly to seek genuine advice: What do I do to find the right people?

Thanks.

I came back to this post because well looking at my original post it was not exactly generous and as full of the milk of human kindness that I would advocate to you.


I must have been having a bad day.

Listen OP if you are reading this. The world has had enough Hamlets and Cather in the Rye types but only one you. Life is not fight club ...it's life ....Robin Hood was a trope symbolizing Justice for the vulnerable. The big guy looking out for the little guy even if it meant standing up to your peers.

I don't know what your going through as regards alcohol and drugs I have never been there. But I do know that intelligent people are curious people who are curious about the world.

You are under stimulated and morose.


As regards your finances and your friend's attitude towards them. NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR GOOD FORTUNE! If you worked hard for it you worked for it. If it came by fortune then don't apologize for that. Don't feel sorry for the good things that happen to you. But don't be an ass either.

What would be unforgivable would be if you used your comfortable position to give you impunity from the consequences of hurting others, either emotionally or physically. You need to understand that some people need to work a little harder and not being comfortable in that way makes people more vulnerable and serious. They cannot afford the risks you can. They do not have your impunity to consequence in life. It is even more important to be around people of good character.

Work on being happy and having high self esteem. Your friends should want what is best for you and accept you ..well at the very least the good in you.


Get some help for the drinking and drugs. It makes people boring it will make your life seem boring and attract the wrong type.

Stop getting into fights. Learn to harness aggression and barbarity in a healthy way. Take up a martial art or something.

I guess tell your father you are concerned but you can't lecture him while you still smoke weed! Teach by example :-)

If at your core you are something fine then let it shine!

LegacyUser

Right OP. I'm not gonna pussy foot around. First of all, nobody's 100% perfect 100% of the time.
I'm one of many good looking, intelligent, educated, well balanced, kind and loving females.

You are a negative guy, who drinks too much, smokes too much weed, and gets involved in street fights. You value friendship so little, that you seem willing to throw away the connection with a great friend, who compared you to Robin Hood - not necessarily an insult - probably meant as friendly feedback.

So, why would a girl like me be interested in a guy like you?

LegacyUser

Right OP. I'm not gonna pussy foot around. First of all, nobody's 100% perfect 100% of the time.
I'm one of many good looking, intelligent, educated, well balanced, kind and loving females.

You are a negative guy, who drinks too much, smokes too much weed, and gets involved in street fights. You value friendship so little, that you seem willing to throw away the connection with a great friend, who compared you to Robin Hood - not necessarily an insult - probably meant as friendly feedback.

So, why would a girl like me be interested in a guy like you?

Rubberchikken

I dont really know what you want.
For starters give the drink/drugs a rest.
Concentrate on your own life and stop judging others.
Your dad's an adult. If he choses to smoke then so be it.

Express your concern for his health if you like, but are you really in a position to judge?

Lou.m

anonthistime wrote: »

Right OP. I'm not gonna pussy foot around. First of all, nobody's 100% perfect 100% of the time.
I'm one of many good looking, intelligent, educated, well balanced, kind and loving females.

You are a negative guy, who drinks too much, smokes too much weed, and gets involved in street fights. You value friendship so little, that you seem willing to throw away the connection with a great friend, who compared you to Robin Hood - not necessarily an insult - probably meant as friendly feedback.

So, why would a girl like me be interested in a guy like you?

Everyone is lovable. We all have flaws. He still has his love to give. Don't break people down. Build them up.


OP you are worth better than you are treating yourself. And you are worth better than hanging around with negative people.

Be nice and you will draw nice people to you.
I think OP people simply feel that in order to attract good people you need to treat others well as you expect to be treated.
See you and others as equal. And look after yourself better than you are doing.

RossFixxxed

No matter how smart you are there are tons and tons of smarter people. People who's brain is 'like a beehive and every bee is a brain like yours'. Often when I hear the cry of not being able to meet intelligent people I begin to wonder how smart you THINK you are vs how it actually IS. There's often a massive disparity causing this. Throw in drinking too much and weed and it paints a dodgy picture to be honest.

There's a lot of contradiction and anger in your post. If you meet people and are angry, judgemental, petty, drunk and high... then why would they want anything to do with you in the first place.

Honestly you should look at yourself first, then deal with other people. You've a drink / weed issue to deal with. People on soapboxes in glasshouses shoudn't be jumping around throwing too many stones.

When it comes to women: either she is good-looking and fun and has no brains or the opposite.

This is wrong. Wrong, wrong wrong. Maybe you can't meet them, but I reckon this justifies your own issuess and gives you an excuse. There are gils out there that are beautiful and have IQs far far beyond most people. I've certainly met some women who's mind and intellect has been amazing, and they are good looking and importantly sound! You're big generalisations speak volumes about where you are mentally.

LegacyUser

What'sGO wrote: »

To begin with, I'm not completely sure how I feel. As far as I can tell, I feel a mixture of loneliness (even though I have some very good friends and know many people) and detachment from the world.

Recently enough I've been doing something thinking and reflecting on a number of issues in my life (??) but I'll get to the one at hand: I'm finding it difficult to meet someone like myself.

By this I don't specifically mean a woman, but people who are like me and have the same qualities/ morals/ beliefs. I'm not perfect by any means, but I do try to perfect many things that I do.

Looking back on my life, many people I considered to be close/ best friends have disappointed me. I've seen true colours of some friends and still have to REALLY get to know others. But thus far, the way some friends act/ behave/ think has really been getting to me. Am I being too pessimistic and only looking at their negatives? For example, recently enough, a very close friend of mine, a guy who I can share almost everything with, has started to call me "Robin Hood" because he sees me as too much of a "good" person. This alone has stopped me from texting/ calling him recently. Why should I bother spend time with people who don't appreciate who I really am? After knowing him for so long and all...

Also, I don't know if I'm being paranoid or whatever, but another friend I've been close with nearly all my life has started to resent me. I can see the way he feels I've been handed things and have had an easy life financially. Its not my fault. I worked hard in school. I didn't get 585 without hard work.

But what really gets to me is when I meet fun people and seem to be getting along but realize that they aren't on the same mental level as me. Don't get me wrong- I'm no genius- but intelligence is something really important for me. I honestly don't mean to come across as big headed- I'm not. I try to be as humble as possible because I could have easily not have been in this position, and just because I am now, doesn't imply I will be in future.

Now, I love both of my parents dearly, and I could never pick one over the other, but if there is one person on this planet who I can say I connect with the most- its my dear Father. I don't think he realizes how much he means to me. The worst part is- he's not in the best of health and being a chain- smoker doesn't help his case either. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him.

When it comes to women: either she is good-looking and fun and has no brains or the opposite. In one case, one girl I've been texting is good looking and smart- but a complete nut job. I have stopped texting said girl. I'm no Brad Pitt- and honestly, looks don't mean all that much to me, but she has to be easy on the eye in one way or the other. I don't know what to do.



And I know I'm not all that. I drink to excess 95% of the time I go out, I smoke a lot of weed, and I've gotten into my share of street fights. But I know I'm not a bad person. I genuinely care about people, even strangers. I think I trust people too early and become too emotionally attached to some.

I realize this is a rant. Its 7 in the morning and I've been awake since yesterday. I suppose I've written this post partly to get sh*t off my chest and partly to seek genuine advice: What do I do to find the right people?

Thanks.

Stoners don't get into street fights.

People who mix weed with something else however do. Your behavior sounds like that to me.

I am not making assumptions or generalizations but it sounds to me like you might be. Using Marijuana mixed with various chemicals is a different game. And generally anyone I have come across who smoked weed and was violent was using it that way.

Stoners are generally quite mellow.

Your personality is not going to be stable on drugs you will be feeling one way one minute the opposite the next.

If you want good people in life you need to treat them well. You are the best judge whether you can do that or not. And I mean that. I don't know how honest you are being with your drug usage.

In my experience users eventually get clean or they don't. The ones who do get clean come around to realize they need new friends.

You have to learn to live in the world and be of the world and be happy in it and not just watch the world. Make connections with people. You have to care and start giving a **** about yourself and others. At the moment you are just a slave to the effect this stuff has on your mind. If you have been using since you were young you might not even realize who you are. Get to know yourself. Get to like yourself. You are the friend that is going to be with you the longest. There can be a bit of belated development with drugs you are not feeling naturally.

To find the right people look for the life and path that fits your values and beliefs. When you find someone you like treat them as you expect to be treated and connect. It might be harder if you are drinking etc.

People who drink too much and take drugs are not pleasant to be around and can be dangerous. Particularly if you have a history of violence which you admit to. The trouble with playing with the dark stuff is in the end that is all you will have. If you still have a bit of yourself left. Then stop now otherwise the crap will consume it up and there will be nothing but an empty gaze on your face.

Try not drinking and no drugs for a month and see what you think of people and the world then. You have to learn to live in the world and be happy. You might find you naturally gravitate towards people you like. Try looking for your path and you will find people and yourself.