No interest in other people or life in general

LegacyUser

I don't feel depressed, while it is something I have suffered with, I just feel completely uninterested and sort of stuck in a life that isn't supposed to be mine.

I grew up working class, in a pretty normal family, I was the only member of my family who did well in school, I excelled beyond my years, however secondary school for a variety of reasons didn't work out so well and I have taken a somewhat different route than most when it comes to education. I hope to apply to 3rd level as a mature student and go from there. I have felt ostracised my entire life, by my family who were nothing like me, by my peers in school who bullied me or isolated me because I was different, I didn't fit anywhere, I didn't fit in my working class family, with the other kids in my small village, I was always the odd one out.

I think because of this I have gotten a little too used to being on my own, I could go a week without seeing anyone and it wouldn't bother me, I find other people exhausting, I much prefer to potter about in my own company and do what I want to do. Things have not been easy, and now instead of others isolating me, I isolate myself. I don't profess to be some great genius, but I am stuck in a world where gossip and what's happening in the soaps is the main topic of conversation, I literally cannot bear to listen to it anymore and would just prefer to be alone.

I don't fit in the world I grew up in and I don't fit in the world I want to be in either. I'm not saying that every conversation has to be some great discussion of the ages but a bit of intelligent conversation is always appreciated. And I mean this in the least big headed way possible, sometimes it can get very tiresome being the smartest person in the room, I feel like I have nothing to challenge me.

I think I have somewhat given up on trying to fit somewhere, I know I want to go to college but I have no idea what to study, I know I want to a challenging career, but I have no idea what in? I just feel really, really stuck and I don't have anyone I can talk to about this, because while I don't mean it to sound like it, it does come off as though I am quite full of myself. Plus I just don't think I know anyone who would understand where I am coming from.

I just want to move forward, the problem is I have no idea where I want to go, I just know that I don't want to stay here.

dd972

Strikes a chord with my life OP, whilst I get on with them I barely bother to attempt a conversation with my immediate family due to the lack of intellectual rapport or shared interests.

I note you mentioned 'working class' as well, crap 'Grange Hill' style school, crap area to grow up and live in, it's all there in your post like my early years, the irony about having a brain is that the dullards actually think you're thick because your personality or sense of humour doesn't revolve around banter.

My saving grace was dumping a bunch of moronic drinking cronies and thugs in my early 20's and forming a new circle of friends from my work circle, I believed I was stupid until my mid 20's all part and parcel of not fitting in and being a fish out of water. Since then I've lived abroad, travelled extensively, learned other languages and got into things like alternative politics and music.

What really annoys me though is the whole lost opportunities angle, there's upper middle class retards with s**te for brains who cakewalk their way through life due to their money, surnames, connections etc.

ongarboy

OP, you come across quite insular in your thinking and slightly judgemental which suggests a lack of experiencing "real" life. It's interesting how you describe, more than once, your family and background by socio-economic status (working class) as if that alone dictates how people think, believe, aspire, progress and live life in general. Just because other people may not share your interests, beliefs or perceived intellect does not make them less intelligent, just different. The more you experience real life, the less narrow minded, judgemental, intellectually superior you feel about others and their differences become something you not only accept but even respect or celebrate. Variety is the spice of life.

You appear to be stuck in a rut. Have you considered a few sessions with a life coach who could point you in the right direction by assessing what your natural interests, anchors and natural motivators are? They would also assess your psychological profile (whether you are an introvert/extrovert/people person/problem solver/analytical/results driven etc etc) so that possible career choices could be matched to your profile. This would then help refine the type of jobs/career and education courses and skills needed to attain those jobs. It would be unwise to pick a course aimlessly as it would be very likely you would lose interest in it very quickly and lack the motivation to complete it.

Czarcasm

alackofcolour wrote: »

I don't fit in the world I grew up in and I don't fit in the world I want to be in either. I'm not saying that every conversation has to be some great discussion of the ages but a bit of intelligent conversation is always appreciated. And I mean this in the least big headed way possible, sometimes it can get very tiresome being the smartest person in the room, I feel like I have nothing to challenge me.

I think I have somewhat given up on trying to fit somewhere, I know I want to go to college but I have no idea what to study, I know I want to a challenging career, but I have no idea what in? I just feel really, really stuck and I don't have anyone I can talk to about this, because while I don't mean it to sound like it, it does come off as though I am quite full of myself. Plus I just don't think I know anyone who would understand where I am coming from.

I just want to move forward, the problem is I have no idea where I want to go, I just know that I don't want to stay here.

There's a challenge for you right there OP. But from reading your post, you're actually not the smartest person in the room because you're missing numerous opportunities to integrate with people and let them get to know you and understand you, while you get to know and understand them better. If you don't want to get to know them, then that's a different issue entirely, and there's no use in being intellectually gifted if you're not willing to share your gift with other people. That gives you some perspective on just how intellectually gifted you really are, and it's a challenge for you to find commonalities with people you feel are lesser intellectual than you are, and also a challenge to 'up your game' so to speak, to meet the challenge of those who are intellectually superior to you.

I'm reminded of the time when his teacher informed me that at six years of age my child had the reading comprehension of a sixteen year old. My first thought was not "my little boy is a genius", it was that the rest of the children in his class must have a piss poor standard of reading comprehension. My child had been learning to read and write since before he could walk, so it was hardly surprising. One of the reasons why I wanted to teach him as much as I could was because comprehension and expression and making oneself understood are hampered somewhat when you're dyslexic. Having known the social isolation that caused, I asked his teacher about his social development. I was told he didn't seem to mix as well as the other children.

So which do you think then became the priority for me? His ability to read and write, or his ability to interact with other people and share their abilities and skills and they learn from each other? Nowadays he's a much more social child and has developed many more interests and skills from mixing with other children who on paper don't have his academic ability, but they're great sports players or they're much more sociable children, and I have always found myself that the more people you mix with from all walks of life, the more you challenge and develop yourself as a person!

Being intellectually gifted is a cool party trick, nothing more, nothing less, but if that's all you have going for you, that makes you a one-trick pony. The most interesting people I've met are the people who have lots of aces up their sleeves, "onions" I call them, because they have a variety of skills and attributes that makes them an interesting person, and someone that people want to be around, someone who isn't selfish with their gifts and wants to share them with other people. You say you're the smartest person in the room? I should think you would've figured out by now that it's easy to say that if you're not willing to make the effort to show an interest in anyone beyond yourself.

Czarcasm

dd972 wrote: »

Strikes a chord with my life OP, whilst I get on with them I barely bother to attempt a conversation with my immediate family due to the lack of intellectual rapport or shared interests.

I note you mentioned 'working class' as well, crap 'Grange Hill' style school, crap area to grow up and live in, it's all there in your post like my early years, the irony about having a brain is that the dullards actually think you're thick because your personality or sense of humour doesn't revolve around banter.

My saving grace was dumping a bunch of moronic drinking cronies and thugs in my early 20's and forming a new circle of friends from my work circle, I believed I was stupid until my mid 20's all part and parcel of not fitting in and being a fish out of water. Since then I've lived abroad, travelled extensively, learned other languages and got into things like alternative politics and music.

What really annoys me though is the whole lost opportunities angle, there's upper middle class retards with s**te for brains who cakewalk their way through life due to their money, surnames, connections etc.

What really annoys me are people who come off as bitter and angry and who seek to blame other people for their failures within themselves. Those people you refer to as upper middle class retards with sh**te for brains are actually far more intelligent than you give them credit for, in that they make the most of their gifts and create opportunities for themselves that chances are you're too blinded by your own bitterness and resentment to be able to see properly.

dd972

Czarcasm wrote: »

What really annoys me are people who come off as bitter and angry and who seek to blame other people for their failures within themselves. Those people you refer to as upper middle class retards with sh**te for brains are actually far more intelligent than you give them credit for, in that they make the most of their gifts and create opportunities for themselves that chances are you're too blinded by your own bitterness and resentment to be able to see properly.

Don't worry son, you'll get what it's all about one day.

Rubberchikken

Join a group if likeminded people so that you can have a better quality of conversation.
I will never profess to be clever but a conversation on one of the soaps would leave me cold - probably because i never see them:)

Dont be so hard on people. For a lot of them the most important things to talk about are pretty mundane. Just the way it is.

alackofcolour

alackofcolour wrote: »

I don't feel depressed, while it is something I have suffered with, I just feel completely uninterested and sort of stuck in a life that isn't supposed to be mine.

I grew up working class, in a pretty normal family, I was the only member of my family who did well in school, I excelled beyond my years, however secondary school for a variety of reasons didn't work out so well and I have taken a somewhat different route than most when it comes to education. I hope to apply to 3rd level as a mature student and go from there. I have felt ostracised my entire life, by my family who were nothing like me, by my peers in school who bullied me or isolated me because I was different, I didn't fit anywhere, I didn't fit in my working class family, with the other kids in my small village, I was always the odd one out.

I think because of this I have gotten a little too used to being on my own, I could go a week without seeing anyone and it wouldn't bother me, I find other people exhausting, I much prefer to potter about in my own company and do what I want to do. Things have not been easy, and now instead of others isolating me, I isolate myself. I don't profess to be some great genius, but I am stuck in a world where gossip and what's happening in the soaps is the main topic of conversation, I literally cannot bear to listen to it anymore and would just prefer to be alone.

I don't fit in the world I grew up in and I don't fit in the world I want to be in either. I'm not saying that every conversation has to be some great discussion of the ages but a bit of intelligent conversation is always appreciated. And I mean this in the least big headed way possible, sometimes it can get very tiresome being the smartest person in the room, I feel like I have nothing to challenge me.

I think I have somewhat given up on trying to fit somewhere, I know I want to go to college but I have no idea what to study, I know I want to a challenging career, but I have no idea what in? I just feel really, really stuck and I don't have anyone I can talk to about this, because while I don't mean it to sound like it, it does come off as though I am quite full of myself. Plus I just don't think I know anyone who would understand where I am coming from.

I just want to move forward, the problem is I have no idea where I want to go, I just know that I don't want to stay here.

If you want to study something that will challenge and interest you, first identify your interests. Why do you think you won't fit in in college? Many mature students share a similar educational background with yours, and come from all walks of life.

One thing you might learn in college that could either delight or horrify you, is that there are very many clever people also interested in doing challenging degrees. If you manage to get on a difficult course, there will be absolutely nothing special about your intellect, and you may find your assessment of yourself changes. It might be humbling or it might be refreshing, depending on how robust your self esteem is, and how much of your persona is invested in seeing yourself as the intellectual outsider. It might be the wake up call you need, so that you see yourself as one of a group instead of one apart.

Having a superior intellect also doesn't preclude anyone from enjoying popular culture, some of the cleverest people I know have very mainstream tastes and a high IQ doesn't always translate into esoteric or abstruse interests, so perhaps you're guilty of a little snobbery here. Don't get me wrong, we're all a little biased in some ways but its good to recognise it as such, instead of seeing it as further evidence of your apartness.

When you've identified your interests and gain the confidence to pursue study in the field you want, you'll be in contact with many like minded people and it will help provide you with the intellectual stimulation you need. But you need to take that step and get moving, allowing yourself to remain in isolated stagnation will just foster more of the same.

The first step to that fulfilment is examining what it is that grips you. What do you lose track of time doing, or reading about? What have you always wanted to do that you never allowed yourself consider? What, if faced with a library of books on every subject under the sun, would be the subject you walk towards first?

LegacyUser

I think the smartest person in the room comment got a lot of flack here, it isn't that I don't think other people are intelligent, I just think there are different kinds and I would be intelligent in the more traditional sense, I stated I didn't want to come across as a big headed, and I meant that, I don't think I'm all that and a bag of chips, this is a problem of me not fitting in the world I grew up in, being working class does not make you any less intelligent, but it meant I grew up with less oppertunities than kids from more well off families, I don't have a chip on my shoulder about this, it's just I wasn't nurtured at home or in school.

One poster said that I didn't have any real world experience, I can assure that isn't true, I mentioned in my original post that secondary school didn't go well, not exam wise or whatever, I had to drop out, it was a really difficult and traumatic time, I won't say anymore on this, but i am working towards my future.

I think I have lost interest in people because when things get hard, I withdraw, I'm used to being alone, I have been all my life, so it's where I feel safest, it's my natural state of being. I suppose I just wish things were different, I've never found anywhere that I really and truly fitted in and that's a hard pill to swallow.

Anyway I think I'm just meandering, this is stuff that I have been sort of stuck on in the last couple of weeks and I will bring it up with my counsellor and try and work through it. I know it might seem all very first world problem-ish, but this genuinely upsets me because I'm sick of feeling so bloody alone and incapeable of making connections with people.