Girlfriend with 'secret' night out

LegacyUser

Hi all, before I start let me say that up until this point I have trusted my girlfriend completely. There has never been a reason for me not to, although now I think there could have been many other times..

Last week we were talking and as I was working nights she was going to stay in and have a relaxing weekend. This doesn't happen all the time, usually when I'm working nights she will go out with her friends and that's grand, never a big deal.

That's why this time confuses me, I was talking to her that night and she told me she was going asleep, good nights said etc and all is ok, next morning I'm talking to her after I wake up off nights and all ok, had a nice relaxing night etc.

Thought nothing of it until I was looking through the local nightclub photos from that night, noticed her in several of the photos in the background. I said bit to her and immediately she attacked me saying that I never let her go out with her friends so obviously she'd have to do it in secret. That is clearly a lie as she always goes out with her friends and I never say a word and obviously support her spending time with her friends.

She says that I'm being ridiculous in questioning her motives but what am I supposed to think? The more I think about it the more I think there has been other times when she may have done the same thing and I don't know what to think.

skallywag

If you genuinely have not given her any reason to think that you would dislike her going out without you, then I would imagine that she is either A) a nutcase or up to something and is reacting so aggressively as she is afraid of being found out.

ILikeBananas

Confusedandangry1111 wrote: »

I said bit to her and immediately she attacked me saying that I never let her go out with her friends so obviously she'd have to do it in secret. That is clearly a lie as she always goes out with her friends and I never say a word and obviously support her spending time with her friends.

Just playing devil's advocate here

I'm certainly not condoning your girlfriends actions but since we only have your side of the story I'm just wondering if you ever make any passive aggressive comments about her going out without you. You know the sort that you'd see as nothing but would get under her skin like "Going out again with the girls again huh?" or "That's every week-end this month you've been out with the girls".

Either way you're girlfriend is being deceitful and this is just going to erode away the trust which is the foundation of any relationship. You need to talk to her about this and if she reacts defensively you need to start thinking about your future together.

LegacyUser

This is a wierd one - i've never heard of a girl having to lie about going out with her friends.

Why on earth would she feel the need to lie? You didn't mention any guy in the pics, so presumably she was with her friends.

You have a major problem if your girlfriend feels she has to hide her social activities from you.

Without more context its impossible to say whats going on here, but you have to have a serious chat.

LegacyUser

Hi, OP here.

I didn't see any guy in the pictures, I did see one of her friends however, It's a very confusing situation.

I asked her about it again and she has informed me that she was going to bed but decided to go out instead and that's why she didn't tell me, only getting angry because I questioned her about it..
Anyway, I didn't buy it and have since broken up with her.


Thanks for any advice but the lies and deceit got to me.