Boyfriend leaving for J1 for summer

IceWolf7

Hi guys, first post on boards so hope I'm doing this right.
I'm 19 and have been with my boyfriend just over 4 years. Been the typical 'childhood sweetheart' scenario, we broke up twice before at 16 and 17 briefly but always ended up back together again. We're genuinely best friends and extremely close.

He is going on a J1 in a few weeks with the lads for about 4 months and I am happy for him and want him to go as I know that this is something that he wants to do. However, we're both very unsure about where this leaves our relationship.

We have had a very big discussion about it and have looked at both options. On one hand, we could very well stay together and survive it as we make each other really happy and do love each other a lot. We have also talked about mutually cutting ties and remaining friends, as we both do feel that we're so young to be in such a long-term committed relationship (while we can't help that because we like each other so much).

As for me, this summer I really want to get a part-time job, save a lot of money and start my driving lessons before I'm back to college. One or two people have suggested I fly over and visit him for a week or two at the end of summer, but this is not very feasible for me as I have a family wedding abroad and I wouldn't be able afford flights alone over to him. In some ways, if we broke up, I think it would be so good for me to be independent and enjoy just thinking about myself for the summer. But at the same time I really love him..

We agreed not to make any decisions before we are both finished our exams as it's a big decision for us both and we want to have the time and energy to properly talk through it again. The problem is, we both aren't finished exams until the 17th and he is off on the 19th. That really only leaves us a day to decide.. And I know that whether we stay together or not for the summer, my heart is going to break when he goes.

Any advice is appreciated, my friends aren't sure what I should do either sorry for such a long sappy post.

skallywag

Stick it out and give it a go at least. I know that four months apart can seem like an eternity when you are your age, but a lot of positives could also end up coming out of the situation.

IceWolf7

Thanks! I'm still very 50/50 and don't have long to decide.. not easy with exams on my shoulders as well

P. Breathnach

If the relationship is worth being in, it can survive a four-month separation.