Lonely at college

LegacyUser

Hi all,
Just looking for some advice on this situation,I am in first year in college and I really like my college course however the one problem is I don't seem to be making any friends on the course, I could go a whole day with out anyone talking to me at all. I have tried mixing with people and starting conversations with them however none of them ever try and talk or start a conversation with me. Today for example I was sitting at a table on my own, a group of them came in, I saw them and waved and they did wave back but then they went and sat at another table. The class group is small, there is only 20 in it. I really don't know what to do, I am a very quiet person and quiet shy but I have a good group of friends outside college and get on well with the people at work. I have joined some clubs and societies however they didn't really meet that often and therefore I didn't really get to mix with other people in the college. At the moment I really want to drop out of college as I just can't take the loneliness for another 2 years but I've no idea what I would do if I did.
Any Advice?
Thanks

certifiedcrepe

I find speaking to people in lectures is a good way of making friends! Especially at the start of a new semester, because in first year you see so many friend groups but in second year many of those groups change around and you see new people (international students, repeat students etc) so don't worry that just because you haven't made friends on your first year that you'll be friendless for the rest of your time there.

Does your class have a group page on Facebook? If they do keep an eye on it because people tend to post when class parties are on. It can be quite daunting going alone at first but you can start speaking to someone there and get introduced to their friends. I am always the person that goes over to people who appear to be alone because that was me in first year. It can be helpful as well to add people from your class on Facebook that you've spoken to briefly, and then just ask them if they want to meet for coffee to discuss an assignment/coursework/whatever is relevant.

If you really love your course then please don't drop out because of this. It's really a great opportunity to be doing something you enjoy.

Best of luck

Rubberchikken

certifiedcrepe has given some great advice.
agree, stick with your course if you really like it. don't drop it over this. If you have friends outside college, then you're doing something right.
It has to be tough feeling lonely in such a place each day, but you're doing the right thing.
Maybe in the example you gave in your post, could you have gone over to join them?

Some people in theat situation might think they were intruding on you. it's hard to understand how the mind works sometimes.

good luck:)

hfallada

College is not like school where you are stuck with the same group of people 9 to 4 everyday. Join societies. Personally I didn't bother with them this year. But I keep hearing from everyone how it's a great way to meet people with the same interests and a totally different group to your class.

Don't take it personally about having few friends. When I look around my lecture hall in college I see guys and girls who stunning with no friends ( I know it sounds shallow), people who are incredible nice to speak, people who are funny. There is no reason for them not to have friends but they just don't. But IMO my have no friends as they are too quite to make friends.

I know I was incrediable quite but I got a job in a shop. I was totally outside of my comfort zone. But gradually I notice I had no anxiety speaking in a room with 50 people. I didn't realise how quite I was until I was forced into a new setting.

Try pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. The only reason I see people not having friends in my course is being too reserved. Once you put yourself out of your comfort zone you will find friends follow. You can't make friends if you Dont speak to people and Dont expect people to walk up to you and ask if you want to have lunch. Ask them can you sit with them.

If you don't make friends in your course so what. But try make them in other places in college like socities or charity work

LegacyUser

Hey OP, just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat as yourself. I mean your post could've been written by me and it would've been the exact same. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that it's a common enough problem, and I know as well as anyone that it's not easy if it's happening to you.
My advice is just to concentrate for the next few weeks on your exams, try to have a great summer with all your friends from outside college, and come back next year refreshed (if you still want to do your course) with a more positive attitude and try to make a few friends (not a dig- I just imagine if you're anything like me you've probably just shut yourself off to the idea of making friends. If not take no notice of me).