Lasting way to long in bed - help!

LegacyUser

Hey everyone,

I have a bit of an issue and hoping for some advice. So Ive always lasted long in bed, thought it was great that I could make her orgasm more than once without a break!

Now Ive been single about a year and I met someone a few weeks ago, everything is great, the only problem is that Im lasting way to long in bed, if I want to come through sex and oral it takes me over 2 hours, or if I just stop and finish off myself then it takes about 20 minutes just for that.

Its absolutely exhausting and I feel like she thinks it might be her fault, she starts to look a bit bored towards the end and she looks somewhat disappointed when she cant make it happen when she goes down on me, as if it were her fault!

She loves it while were still going and I can make her orgasm a few times but I just get too exhausted to continue and it ends up being easier to finish myself or just not finish at all!

Im afraid it will start to have an effect on our relationship and dont know what to do about it!

Any advice would be really appreciated!

strobe

A few things spring to mind.

What condoms, if any, are you using? Different thicknesses, sizes, materials, lubrication, etc can make a big difference in relation to this for some guys.

Were you very sexually active in the year you were single?
Some guys find if they've been relying mainly on masturbation for a period of time then they become accustomed to that sensation being his they reach orgasm and find it difficult to reach orgasm through other means afterwards.

How's the sex itself? Is the communication good? Are you comfortable letting her know what you like and how you like it, in terms of positions, tempo, angles, how you like this or that, etc? Not everyone's going to have an intuitive understanding of what works for someone else so need to be shown. Do you know yourself what works best for you in relation to sex?

power pants

id say definitely too much having sex with yourself has done this. You said yourself you have to finish yourself off

LegacyUser

OK OP

I logged in as a guest for obvious reasons.

I am going to be frank. It's quicker.

I am female my ex had this issue. His previous girlfriend and I both used to get tension headaches from giving oral for too long.

The penile sphincter is a doughnut shaped muscle at the base of your penis. It tightens when blood flows through and gives an erection but sometimes the smallest vessels the capillaries become damaged.

But if there is no medical reason you became too used to doing it yourself. A blowjob is a complete lockjaw that never ends!

I would suggest you instruct your other half as best you can and in as much detail so she and you can get used to it.

It will take time but you will both adjust. Your penis needs sensitivity training :-)

Just reassure her you are enjoying what you are doing.

Relax and maybe warm yourself up for the night. And you could try masturbating differently.

loveisdivine

OP this is a slightly personal question but it could be of use, are you by any chance circumcised?

Circumcision is known to cause issues with lasting too long and one of my previous sexual partners suffered (and still does) with it terribly.

If its not that then maybe try easing off the masturbation and see if that helps.

Time Now Please

All down to nerves! try to relax more, even try asking her to talk dirty!! I know I know..but you never know it might work

dafunk

It's not a race to the finish line, it should be fun for you both. Why do you have to "finish"? Why not just enjoy the experience and stop if you're getting exhausted? Plenty of women don't orgasm every time they have sex, it's great when it happens but it's not the objective.

kylith

dafunk wrote: »

It's not a race to the finish line, it should be fun for you both. Why do you have to "finish"? Why not just enjoy the experience and stop if you're getting exhausted? Plenty of women don't orgasm every time they have sex, it's great when it happens but it's not the objective.

It's incredibly demoralising for a woman if her partner never reaches orgasm, or has to finish himself off all the time. Sure, if it happens occasionally it's not a big deal, but imagine how you'd feel if every time you had sex you did everything you could but your partner still didn't orgasm then went to the bathroom to take care of themselves; you'd be sure that it was something about you. Not to mention the discomfort from the friction of having intercourse for two hours - after a while it starts to chafe!

OP, If I were you I'd stop masturbating completely for a few weeks, and see if that made any difference. If it doesn't then it may be worthwhile talking to your GP.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, have you tried talking about this issue with your girlfriend about the issue at hand?
I'm sure she understands but I think you should talk to her about it, maybe you guys could try new things in bed.
Like the other posters said, always try to relax, maybe you're finding it hard to relax with someone new.
Hope it all works out.

trihead

Most people have heard of premature ejaculation but delayed ejaculation is not as widely know.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_ejaculation

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/ejaculatoryincompetence.htm

Suggest talking to your GP to rule out any medical issues. As embarrassing as this may seem ( I know males hate going to GPs even for standard things) it will help you either solve it or improve the situation.

Good luck

:pac: