A question for gay men

que pasa

If you don't mind me asking, what was your relationship with women before you discovered you were gay?

floggg

que pasa wrote: »

If you don't mind me asking, what was your relationship with women before you discovered you were gay?

Why do you ask?

You do know that no two peoples experiences will be the same, so there aren't too many conclusions which you should draw from any anecdotal evidence give.

que pasa

floggg wrote: »

Why do you ask?

You do know that no two peoples experiences will be the same, so there aren't too many conclusions which you should draw from any anecdotal evidence give.

I'm curious to know whether women would treat you differently if they didn't know you were gay.

baby and crumble

que pasa wrote: »

I'm curious to know whether women would treat you differently if they didn't know you were gay.

That's a totally different question though.

Rick_

For the sake of argument, I'll tell you my relationship with women before and even after knowing I was gay.

None.

I knew from very early on that I liked men and I genuinely never questioned it or went through a period of denial. As I grew up I learned that it was not what society would consider "the norm" and that it would be tough for me to find someone who shared by thoughts and feelings (and being shy didn't help). Then the internet came along and gave me a helping hand. As I didn't socialise that much and was considered to be an physically ugly person by my peer group, I didn't have girls looking to go out with or kiss me, so I didn't have to spurn their advances or go along with it and pretend.

But, like it has already been said, everyone's experience is different. There is no blanket answer or common conclusion you can draw from what anyone posts here for you. It's just one of those things...

J_E

To be honest I didn't have any female friends in the sense of hanging out regularly or anything. I had female friends in school as a teenager but that's as far as our friendship extended, at school. I attempted one or two 'relationships' but they ended fairly fast or I backed out as I was scared of intimacy, it just didn't feel fair to lead them on for the sake of deflecting my own sexual identity and use them as a cover up, and I couldn't convince myself to be attracted to them. In other words, I'm not anyone's 'gay best friend' type.

I'm curious to know whether women would treat you differently if they didn't know you were gay.

But they do, that's pretty much a statement not a question, much like anyone treats someone differently when an unfamiliarity presents itself, whether they admit it or not.

floggg

que pasa wrote: »

I'm curious to know whether women would treat you differently if they didn't know you were gay.

Why don't you tell us why you need to know this. If we knew the angle it might all make a bit more sense.

que pasa

floggg wrote: »

Why don't you tell us why you need to know this. If we knew the angle it might all make a bit more sense.

I have difficulty reaching out to women so I thought by telling them I was gay or bisexual might increase my chances.

eviltwin

que pasa wrote: »

I have difficulty reaching out to women so I thought by telling them I was gay or bisexual might increase my chances.

Are you even gay or bisexual? If you're a straight man lying to women isn't exactly going to help improve your chances with them.

J_E

que pasa wrote: »

I have difficulty reaching out to women so I thought by telling them I was gay or bisexual might increase my chances.

If you're not gay or bisexual, that's a seriously bad thing to do. Sexual identity isn't supposed to be a pulling tool or a status symbol for straight guys looking to increase their chances, and when you get caught out you'll be in trouble. What's a woman supposed to think when you decide to come onto after she thinks you're gay and there's no relationship possibility? You might want to think of a different strategy because I find that a pretty bad way to deceive women to be honest.