Control freak

Gheebag

Posting this cos I've had enough.Enough of controlling my finances,enough of controlling the clothes I should wear,enough of you better do this you better do that.My Partner is a complete and utter control freak.i work long hours and earn a good wage.i pay for all the bills,food,everything.She stays home all day everyday ,does nothing.I come home at 5 and have to do everything ,from cooking dinner to running errands for her.I love her but I can't take much more of her controlling.any advice appreciated.thanks.

P. Breathnach

Have you told her what you think of her behaviour?

Stheno

What are the positives of your relationship?

Lou.m

Gheebag wrote: »

Posting this cos I've had enough.Enough of controlling my finances,enough of controlling the clothes I should wear,enough of you better do this you better do that.My Partner is a complete and utter control freak.i work long hours and earn a good wage.i pay for all the bills,food,everything.She stays home all day everyday ,does nothing.I come home at 5 and have to do everything ,from cooking dinner to running errands for her.I love her but I can't take much more of her controlling.any advice appreciated.thanks.

Just take control back.

You control your finances. And the rest.

As regards her role in the household. Tell her that she must contribute in some way. Either it is by keeping the house or contributing financially by getting a job. Either contribution is equally valid but she need to be doing it.

If she is terribly controlling maybe she needs counseling and you could try couples therapy.

And if none of this seems possible you need to ask yourself is it worth staying what does she actually bring? Would you be happier alone.

You deserve control over your life. To be honest she does not sound like a very worthwhile person. You need to consider who she is and whether she is right for you. Can you be happy in this?

It does not sound like she cares about your happiness.

If DOES sound like she has a few mental issues.

DukeOfTheSharp

Gheebag wrote: »

Posting this cos I've had enough.Enough of controlling my finances,enough of controlling the clothes I should wear,enough of you better do this you better do that.My Partner is a complete and utter control freak.i work long hours and earn a good wage.i pay for all the bills,food,everything.She stays home all day everyday ,does nothing.I come home at 5 and have to do everything ,from cooking dinner to running errands for her.I love her but I can't take much more of her controlling.any advice appreciated.thanks.

Just to establish some basic information here:

Does she even attempt to make dinner/wash clothes/walk to the shop to get the basics?
Does she often complain about how hard her life is?
Does she spend large amounts of your money on random items that she then complains about?
Does she erratic and have major mood swings over everything and nothing?

It sounds to me like you're dealing with a very controlling, psychologically unstable woman here. She seems to have serious control issues, especially when it comes to how >you< dress. The 'you better do this, you better do that' lark is also something that points to someone who seems to think marriage is sitting on her nethers all day while you do everything else. I've witnessed this before. My advice would be to sit her down and tell her you're sick of the one-way street your relationship has become. She either contributes or gets a job. If she becomes unreasonable, then get up and leave the room. Honestly with the bare bones info I can't give you proper advice.

However, I will ask one more question: before you got married, did she act differently to this?

boomchicawawa

You have awoken to the reality of your life !! Run now while you have the chance. By the sounds of it, your friends and family will be delighted as they have probably been telling you this for years..... Run now and don't look back !!