26 and no destination. ..

den87

Hey all, dont know if it this is the right forum, if its not I apologise.

Just wondering is what im going through at the moment normal for people my age. Here goes:

Im 26, decent job, no girlfriend, living at home and I have no idea where my life is going or what direction im going in, I feel like I should be doing more.

I live at home because I can't afford it for another few months and have no one to move out with. No gf, but have been in a long term relationship before.

Do people reach a certain age when there life just falls into place? Are there other people at this age feeling the same?

Thanks for reading, ive tried to make as much sense as I can

Mahogany

I'll do my best I'm 20 but I''ll give ya my two cents.

People aren't settling until their mid 30's these days for some anyway, so I wouldn't worry about that. Life is never predictable, and you just sort of have to go with the flow, make your plans, try stick to it as much as you can but always prepare to improvise.

Do some career quiz's and Aptitute tests online. Find out what you'd be good at, if you don't know already, and apply for college next year if not a University, then apply for a FETAC and then progress to Uni from there

Hope that helped.

R.D. aka MR.D

Do you know what you want to do?

I'm not sure what you mean that people's lives fall into place.

I really believe that you have to go out there and get what you want. Opportunities aren't going to fall into your lap.

If you know what you want then make plans to make it happen. If you don't know and want to change things then as the other poster said try to find out what suits you.

ivytwine

Why do you need a girlfriend to move out?

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

seamus

Five year plans, life goals, "what do you want to get out of life", all bullsh1t in my experience. There are some people who know what they want their life to be and they go for it. Then there are the other 99.99% of us who drift through it looking at shiny things. Most people lives don't just "fall into place". Most people's lives never "fall into place".

You're in a very good position, even though you can't see it. You are free. Completely free. You can quit your job tomorrow and nobody is going to come chasing you for unpaid mortgages, your parents won't throw you out on the street for unpaid rent, you have no children that need feeding. It's a freedom that we all possess at one stage or another but fail to appreciate it while we have it.

Take this opportunity to do the things you love doing. I'm not talking about, "I want to be an astronaut". I'm talking about, "I like space and astronomy so I'm going to spend a big wad of my cash on an expensive telescope, join an astronomy club and spend hours looking up at the stars".
Do the things you love every day and your life will "fall into place", as you put it. Deny yourself the things that you love because you're too busy pursuing the things you think you should love - money, house, car, relationships - and you will always find yourself wondering when your life is going to have any meaning.

If you don't know what it is that you love doing, then take this time of freedom to expand your mind. Travel - you don't have to go on 2-year treks across India. Go somewhere you've never been before for a month.

Rubberchikken

Can you move out to your own place? You dont need a gf to do this with.

Are you working/college?
Do you know what you 'd like to do with your life?

Legs.Eleven

House share?



I don't know anyone who had it all figured out at 26. As the Wear Sunscreen song says (written by Mary Schmich NOT Kurt Vonnegut) says:

"Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't."

snowflaked

If you live successfully each day, I am hoping then that overall my life will be a success. Cannot worry about the future, go with it and set some goals to keep yourself on a good path. Do whatever makes you happy and keep doing it with people who care. Take care

thegreatgonzo

In my 20's I was very restless and after leaving college I had no idea what to do with my degree. It took a few years of working in menial jobs I didn't like, travelling and meeting people to find a career path which I did eventually and was happy in. However I was still restless and to cut a very long story short I travelled more, experienced unemployment and went back to college to study something I'd wanted to do as a teenager but pushed aside. I'm 36 now with and about to re enter the workplace soon. At 26 I would have thought that by now I would be a home owner, married and whatever. Well I'm none of those things but I have learnt a lot and I have no regrets.

I had no great epiphanies about what I should or shouldn't do, I went with my gut a lot of the time and pushed myself to do things I was afraid of. I view learning differently now, I used to think it was something you got out of the way before your life could really start but now I intend to keep on learning and upskilling until I run out of things to think of.

Some people say 5 year plans are a waste, I disagree. 5 years ago I sat at a table with friends discussing the pros and cons of going back to college and trying to imagine being mid 30's and qualified. I've had the satisfaction of ticking off some milestones over the last 5 years and it's kept me going when I felt frustrated and wondered if I should have just gotten a job instead.

LegacyUser

I’m 31. The first thing I will tell you is that there are very few people who either know where they’re going, or find themselves exactly where they set out to be. I remember the first couple of years after college, and to be honest, you get out, start work and think…”is this it?”. And then you wonder what the hell is going on. I’ve a graduate of about your age working with me now, and she’s having the exact same conversation with me at work – “I thought once I graduated and got a job, it would all fall into place – and now I don’t know what to do next”.

I don’t know why this happens – possibly something to with so many years in education, aiming for end goals all the time – the junior cert, the leaving cert, college exams, the degree, Masters, whatever – and then you get out and suddenly – nothing. It’s in your hands, life expects you to be an adult and to get on with it. You are most definitely not the only person who has felt like that, believe me.

Life doesn’t “fall into place” I’m afraid. You have no idea where you’ll be in 5 years time (believe me, right now, I am really not where I thought I’d be when I was 26). But I think there is some merit in having a think about what you might like to do – and I don’t mean in terms of going back to college or anything like that. Like, for example – I gave up the piano in college, but I always wanted a Diploma on it, so I went back 3 years out of college, and got the Dip. I always wanted to learn the violin, so I took that up then. I always wanted a certain professional qualification, and I achieved that this year (even though it has nothing to do with my current role). I like to be fairly fit, so I make sure I have something to do 2/3 evenings of the week – running with a friend, playing tag rugby (a great social hobby). Are there things you’d like to do – for example, (these might sound crazy, but such is life!) – learn to sail, play on a rugby team, sing in a choir, learn an instrument, go and do a short course in something? The worst thing you can do is go home and navel gaze about your life every evening. Set a few goals that are achievable for yourself – say, you’d like to move out in 6 months, so you’ll save until you can. Maybe you’d like to buy a certain car, so you save until you can. You’d like to meet people, a girlfriend, whatever – join a club or society (I actually can’t recommend tag rugby enough, if it’s played anywhere near you – no requirement to know anything about rugby, both sexes play and it’s a bit of fun – and the number of people you get to know seems to mushroom through subbing for other teams etc  Set up a team with work, it’s easy to do!), go hillwalking (another great social one) etc.

It sounds patronising I know, but you’re still very young. Seriously. Enjoy your 20s as much as you can, but do be aware that it is up to you to make the enjoyment. Set some long term goals, but be flexible and try and have goals that are not just career or job orientated. Don’t judge yourself by others you know either, because (if you haven’t learned already) the grass is always greener (there will be at least one other person looking at you enviously at any given time, believe me), secondly, everyone has different priorities, and thirdly – people hide things very well; what is visible on Facebook and the like is almost always not a real reflection of their lives.

I really don’t mean to be patronising or condescending, but the best thing you can do is go out and grab life with both hands. The simplest stupidest things will get you by and even better, will lead you to places you never thought about going. You are absolutely not the only one or the first one to feel like this, and it will pass eventually, the best way to make it pass is to go out and see what happens. As someone said in an earlier post, some of the most interesting people still don’t know what they want to do when they’re 40. In all seriousness, I’m 31, and haven’t a clue what is happening next year (not helped by the collapse in the economy!). I have a vague outline of what I would like to happen in one part of my life, but the rest of it is, as yet, uncharted territory. The bigger picture tends to unfold as I go along, I’ve discovered my plans have to be flexible 

Sorry about the long post, but I hope there’s something useful in it. Please don’t worry too much about where you’re going and enjoy the journey. All those clichéd phrases are clichés because they’re true 

den87

Thanks guys, some good advice there. To the two posters that said about not needing a gf to move out, I must have worded my post wrong. Sorry.

I have 2 months left on a car loan so Ive been thinking im either going to use the extra money to move out or else to do a course or something somwhere. Im 26 and work in retail but dont want to be stuck in that profession forever, have done a HR course so I might expand on that.

Thanks

castaway_lady

You're in the midst of a quarter life crisis. Its all normal. You question where youre meant to be (according to someone) and measure where you are.
From life on the other side of the quarter life crisis, Id advise, travel, even if its just holidays/ city breaks..plan and travel . Work consistently on your career goals in a strategic way. Don't panic on the moving out thing, it will happen when you need it to. If thats soon then so be it, if not, well it will happen later. If that alone isnt holding you back, dont panic on it.

Stay excited about the possibilities of life and keep tipping away formulating and pursuing plans. Its a marathon not a sprint.