Can opposites really attract?

Mondo123

Hi, just out of a long term relationship a couple of months ago. Met a nice guy, we get on well have good banter, sex is great, can't say I'm massively attracted to him physically but at the same time im not turned off either, he's very gentlemanly and respectful towards me which is a nice change!
Unfortunately, We have very little in common, very different pasttimes and backgrounds... Mine being country bumpkin and he a street wise city kid. His extended family seem to be troublesome, as in would have a name for it. I don't like the fact that I let this annoy me as to be fair he's been very nice to me and is very successful in his own career so obviously isn't a waster like other family members...
I guess I'm asking if anyone has ever been in this kind of situation before? do you think love can grow or should we be bowled over with infatuation from the start? Basically do you think opposites can attract an make it work I'm jst confused at the min an probably over thinking it all...

thinks too much

Hi Op. It might be a bit different to your situation but my wife and i have very little in common in our Hobbies etc. But we have been together since we were 18 and are married the last 15 years.What we have discovered throughout our relationship is that as long as you accept that you have different likes and views then all will work out. personally I would hate it If we both liked the same things. As for family well you just have to remember that its him you will be going out with and not his family. Whats the worst could happen. give it a shot and you never know he could be the one for you.

December2012

It depends on what you mean by opposites.

My husband and I are both city folk, different family setups, different personalities, interests and hobbies.

We are on the same page about things we feel matter though - money, work, kids.

We disagree on lots though and have different approaches on some things.

Opposite on some things, similar on others.

Lou.m

Mondo123 wrote: »

Hi, just out of a long term relationship a couple of months ago. Met a nice guy, we get on well have good banter, sex is great, can't say I'm massively attracted to him physically but at the same time im not turned off either, he's very gentlemanly and respectful towards me which is a nice change!
Unfortunately, We have very little in common, very different pasttimes and backgrounds... Mine being country bumpkin and he a street wise city kid. His extended family seem to be troublesome, as in would have a name for it. I don't like the fact that I let this annoy me as to be fair he's been very nice to me and is very successful in his own career so obviously isn't a waster like other family members...
I guess I'm asking if anyone has ever been in this kind of situation before? do you think love can grow or should we be bowled over with infatuation from the start? Basically do you think opposites can attract an make it work I'm jst confused at the min an probably over thinking it all...

Definitely opposites can attract :-)

You can both bring something new into each others lives. I don't judge people on their families but on their own character. And anyway you never know what people have been through. You shouldn't hold someones background against them. They didn't choose it. I wouldn't be too down on is family it is a little disrespectful.

One thing though you are not attracted to him?

Well maybe this will come in time. I think after you have feelings for someone usually the sexual attraction comes too. But thats me.

You do need to have some similar values though. About some stuff. Or at least respect each others views. FOr example ..Meat eaters respect vegetarians and vice versa or something similar....you respect his passions and hobbies and way of life and he yours etc.

You will create a lot of common ground together. I think you can have a ying yang thing going on. You could both broaden each others horizons.

Mondo123

Thanks for the responses guys! Yep we would be on the same page on important things like kids, work, money and what we want from life I guess that's why I was confused an just worrying that the other things may affect it.
In relation to the attraction, ive never been the type of person to be bowled over with an immense attraction I guess I'm a slow burner in that instance...any time that I've for want of a better word 'lusted' after someone personality wise we have failed and they have turned out to be a pure player! That's why with this guy I'm liking the difference I guess...

Neyite

I know a couple who were opposites in nearly every way: country v city, quiet v loud, impulsive v cautious, early riser v late sleeper etc. If you tried to pick two people who were total opposites, you'd pick those two.

But they agreed on the fundamentals, and that's why it worked. They shared the same view regarding religion, children, marriage, and were very respectful of each other and their differences kept their relationship interesting.

They were together 40 years until one passed away.

hoodwinked

Neyite wrote: »

I know a couple who were opposites in nearly every way: country v city, quiet v loud, impulsive v cautious, early riser v late sleeper etc. If you tried to pick two people who were total opposites, you'd pick those two.

But they agreed on the fundamentals, and that's why it worked. They shared the same view regarding religion, children, marriage, and were very respectful of each other and their differences kept their relationship interesting.

They were together 40 years until one passed away.

My husband and i are like this, i am a city girl, with a city family (wasters in there too) and he is from the country, with a well to do family,

we got on great when we met, it was our third time meeting when we agreed to go on a date, to be honest we had great banter and great sex, i didn't "love" him from the start, in fact three months in when his brothers gf asked me if i loved him my response was "i don't know, it's too soon for that"

but here we are years later married with a child, we agree on the fundamentals,(how many children we want, how we want to raise them, respect and boundaries within a relationship)..etc but then we also love lots of the same things, sports, games,nerdy things but we are very different people, he's quiet i am loud, we come from very different backgrounds,

and to be honest i believe thats why we work well, when we did the pre marriage course we were opposites in a lot of the categories and they told us that that was the best possible outcome as one of us will counteract the other because we respect one another opinions so much, and communicate so much

if anything i hope my post gives you an insight to the things you said were worrying you, if anything being opposites is a must imo

Lou.m

Mondo123 wrote: »

Thanks for the responses guys! Yep we would be on the same page on important things like kids, work, money and what we want from life I guess that's why I was confused an just worrying that the other things may affect it.
In relation to the attraction, ive never been the type of person to be bowled over with an immense attraction I guess I'm a slow burner in that instance...any time that I've for want of a better word 'lusted' after someone personality wise we have failed and they have turned out to be a pure player! That's why with this guy I'm liking the difference I guess...

I hope it works out for you