9 Month old sleeping problems

dutopia

Hi all,

I have a 9 month old who has a really hard time sleeping and she wakes up often (every hour or two hours mostly). She always has been this way but it has been getting worse recently, I think because of separation anxiety. We hadn't tried any sleep training methods before but we decided to give 'controlled crying' a try. I know this method is controversial and studies seem to be inconclusive about the good and bad sides but it does seem to work for many parents. I know it's suppose to be tough for the first few days into this training but she literally screams for hours on end when we left her after coming back in the room after the 3rd or 4th time. It's gut wrenching how miserable she sounds - she's also extremely flustered and I'm worried about the risk of her being sick/increasing her risk of SIDS.

The stress and tension between my wife and I about taking turns minding her and how to approach this situation is causing a lot of arguing and adding to the problem. I'm honestly thinking of finding a nanny or someone to take her at night for a few months and see if she will get any better.

Any advice would be really helpful.

Moonbeam

dutopia wrote: »

Hi all,

I have a 9 month old who has a really hard time sleeping and she wakes up often (every hour or two hours mostly). She always has been this way but it has been getting worse recently, I think because of separation anxiety. We hadn't tried any sleep training methods before but we decided to give 'controlled crying' a try. I know this method is controversial and studies seem to be inconclusive about the good and bad sides but it does seem to work for many parents. I know it's suppose to be tough for the first few days into this training but she literally screams for hours on end when we left her after coming back in the room after the 3rd or 4th time. It's gut wrenching how miserable she sounds - she's also extremely flustered and I'm worried about the risk of her being sick/increasing her risk of SIDS.

The stress and tension between my wife and I about taking turns minding her and how to approach this situation is causing a lot of arguing and adding to the problem. I'm honestly thinking of finding a nanny or someone to take her at night for a few months and see if she will get any better.

Any advice would be really helpful.

Why do you suspect separation anxiety ?
Does she have a bed time routine ?
Where does she sleep ?

Drdoc

Hi dutopia

I had similar sleeping issues with my now 12 month old. He had been typically waking every 1.5-2 hours. Then suddenly around 10 months he just started sleeping better all on his own and mostly sleeps through the night now. I know a couple of other posters also found their little ones started sleeping better around 10-12 months. So I suppose what I'm saying is hang in there, improvements are probably just around the corner.
Also there is a 9 month sleep regression so right now is probably a particularly difficult time to sleep train. Have you considered any of the gentler sleep training methods?
Hope things improve soon. It's very tough!

How Strange

Our little lady woke every 2-3 hours since she was about 8 weeks old. By 11 months I was almost deranged from chronic sleep deprivation. I just couldn't do controlled crying. It's personally not for me as I wouldn't be able for the crying. I read Elizabeth Pantleys No Cry Sleep Solution in January. We decided when she turned 11 months that we were all ready to give it a go. I was/am breastfeeding so we started with cutting out the night feeds. Then we started the sleep training. It took 3 weeks of taking her out of the cot to reassure her, then leaving her in the cot but rubbing her back and sshhing her. The 3rd week was sshhing without back rubs. I thought we'd been sold a pig in a poke with this method until 1 night at the end of 4 long weeks she slept from 6.30-6.

She's now sharing a room with her brother. Some nights she wakes up but as long as we hear that she's got her soother in her mouth we leave her to it. She might grumble for up to an hour but she goes back to sleep. Some nights she sleeps right through to 5-5.30.

I honestly thought this baby was broken and incapable of sleeping through the night but the no cry sleep solution worked. It does require both you and your wife sticking with it every night no matter how tired you are. Some nights we gave in and took her into bed with us but we'd start back at it the next night. I really do recommend giving it a go. It takes up to a month to see results but I can vouch for it's success.

Gee_G

How Strange wrote: »

Our little lady woke every 2-3 hours since she was about 8 weeks old. By 11 months I was almost deranged from chronic sleep deprivation. I just couldn't do controlled crying. It's personally not for me as I wouldn't be able for the crying. I read Elizabeth Pantleys No Cry Sleep Solution in January. We decided when she turned 11 months that we were all ready to give it a go. I was/am breastfeeding so we started with cutting out the night feeds. Then we started the sleep training. It took 3 weeks of taking her out of the cot to reassure her, then leaving her in the cot but rubbing her back and sshhing her. The 3rd week was sshhing without back rubs. I thought we'd been sold a pig in a poke with this method until 1 night at the end of 4 long weeks she slept from 6.30-6.

She's now sharing a room with her brother. Some nights she wakes up but as long as we hear that she's got her soother in her mouth we leave her to it. She might grumble for up to an hour but she goes back to sleep. Some nights she sleeps right through to 5-5.30.

I honestly thought this baby was broken and incapable of sleeping through the night but the no cry sleep solution worked. It does require both you and your wife sticking with it every night no matter how tired you are. Some nights we gave in and took her into bed with us but we'd start back at it the next night. I really do recommend giving it a go. It takes up to a month to see results but I can vouch for it's success.

Sorry for butting in on this thread.
How strange, would you recommend this book for me to get to get my little man to go to bed on his own(20months)? I had great intentions of sorting this out months ago but with different illnesses and what not it never worked out.

How Strange

Yes I would. She's not reinventing the wheel and a lot of it is common sense. The most important thing is she's a mum herself so she's writing it from that perspective. She has a few chapters specifically for toddlers.

dutopia

Drdoc wrote: »

Hi dutopia

I had similar sleeping issues with my now 12 month old. He had been typically waking every 1.5-2 hours. Then suddenly around 10 months he just started sleeping better all on his own and mostly sleeps through the night now. I know a couple of other posters also found their little ones started sleeping better around 10-12 months. So I suppose what I'm saying is hang in there, improvements are probably just around the corner.
Also there is a 9 month sleep regression so right now is probably a particularly difficult time to sleep train. Have you considered any of the gentler sleep training methods?
Hope things improve soon. It's very tough!

Thanks for the support! We'll keep at it and hopefully the worst is over.

dutopia

Moonbeam wrote: »

Why do you suspect separation anxiety ?
Does she have a bed time routine ?
Where does she sleep ?

I suspect that because she has enough intuition to realise when one of us is about to leave her, that makes her really upset. It's pretty much the only thing that upsets her at the moment. She's very patient with everything else.

Yes, she has a bedtime routine and she knows when we are getting her ready for bed. She's usually okay until the time we try and leave the room and then she wakes often.

She sleeps in her cot in our room.

dutopia

How Strange wrote: »

Our little lady woke every 2-3 hours since she was about 8 weeks old. By 11 months I was almost deranged from chronic sleep deprivation. I just couldn't do controlled crying. It's personally not for me as I wouldn't be able for the crying. I read Elizabeth Pantleys No Cry Sleep Solution in January. We decided when she turned 11 months that we were all ready to give it a go. I was/am breastfeeding so we started with cutting out the night feeds. Then we started the sleep training. It took 3 weeks of taking her out of the cot to reassure her, then leaving her in the cot but rubbing her back and sshhing her. The 3rd week was sshhing without back rubs. I thought we'd been sold a pig in a poke with this method until 1 night at the end of 4 long weeks she slept from 6.30-6.

She's now sharing a room with her brother. Some nights she wakes up but as long as we hear that she's got her soother in her mouth we leave her to it. She might grumble for up to an hour but she goes back to sleep. Some nights she sleeps right through to 5-5.30.

I honestly thought this baby was broken and incapable of sleeping through the night but the no cry sleep solution worked. It does require both you and your wife sticking with it every night no matter how tired you are. Some nights we gave in and took her into bed with us but we'd start back at it the next night. I really do recommend giving it a go. It takes up to a month to see results but I can vouch for it's success.

Thanks for sharing your story and I'm sorry to had such a hard time, it seems we're in a very similar situation. I will have a look at that method of sleep training - never heard of it before. I know now the 'controlled crying' just isn't for my baby. I know her better than any sleep technique and shouldn't of forced it on her. Lesson learned.

zzzplease

Hi we are having a similar problem with our 7month old. From day one he has never slept he only sleeps for bout 2.5 hours during The day our day starts at 6.00am and goes down between 7 and 8pm but once he's asleep 4 or more hours he's awake again and can be awake for 3 or more hours it's not hunger as he will only sip an ounce or two if we give him a bottle tonight we are trying the ferber method numerous friends have tried and had success. Our 2yr old daughter was a great sleeper from day one and still is wilt go down from 8 to 8 and have a short nap during the day but her brother is another story

Mink

There's a gradual method I'd read about from the Baby Whisperer (?). Think it's called the pick up, put down method.

Either way, seems to work for some parents and doesn't involve lots of crying. Would take a good few weeks of consistent work (like anything).

Big thing I hear from parents doing particular techniques is that they both agree on it and both take part in it and are really consistent with it so as not to undo what progress they've made.

zzzplease

We are on our 03rd night now and have only been up for a max of 40min and he is not even crying a whole lot more like singing we're hoping it continues as we are a little more energised the last 2 days