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lost and alone...will it always be this way

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  • 24-04-2014 11:49pm
    #1
    levi12
    Registered Users Posts: 31 ✭


    Im in my late thirties, coming to terms with a seperation that came from nowhere and was in no way my decision.

    I find myself alone in a crowded room and even more lonely in a quiet room. Will it always be this lonely for me. Do men really find women like me (with children) interesting....or should I get used to the lonely empty feeling that I wake to each morning and try ignore every night as I sleep on "my side".....suddenly having so much space in my bed isnt so much fun.

    Will I ever get to feel butterflies in my tummy again or hold hands with someone ....or have I lost all hope of my happy ever after.


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    #2
    strobe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    There's a LOT of men in exactly the same place. Suddenly divorced in their late 30's/early 40's, wondering if that's it, worried no women will be interested in a divorced guy with kids approaching middle age, hoping to meet someone that wants the same things they do and they can click with.

    As long as you haven't let yourself go physically, aren't harboring a bunch of bitterness over the end of your marriage, and are willing and able to put yourself out there make a bit of effort to meet people, you'll probably find there'll be guys lining up tbh.

    But don't feel like you have to rush into another relationship too soon either. A marriage ending is a tough thing. Take a little bit of time to get over it and enjoy being your own person for a little bit.


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    #3
    desbrook
    Registered Users Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭desbrook


    strobe wrote: »
    There's a LOT of men in exactly the same place. Suddenly divorced in their late 30's/early 40's, wondering if that's it, worried no women will be interested in a divorced guy with kids approaching middle age, hoping to meet someone that wants the same things they do and they can click with.

    As long as you haven't let yourself go physically, and aren't harboring a bunch of bitterness over the end of your marriage, you'll probably find there'll be guys lining up tbh.

    Exactly . There's loads or us out there, you are not alone OP. It is harder for the ladies though as a smaller percentage of guys in the same boat actually want a relationship second time around.

    Kids are not a problem as long as you don't have a problem with a guy having kids. Simple as .

    Appearance is important - there's no getting away from that. Take the opportunity to make the changes to yourself you always wanted.

    By all means learn from mistakes in your marriage but don't tar all men with the same brush. Slagging off your ex is a big no no also.

    Avoid any signs of desperation - sorry to tell you but talk of and empty bed reek of it .


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    #4
    Alf. A. Male
    Closed Accounts Posts: 740 ✭✭✭Alf. A. Male


    levi12 wrote: »

    Will I ever get to feel butterflies in my tummy again or hold hands with someone ....or have I lost all hope of my happy ever after.

    No reason you won't have those feelings again and no reason you shouldn't be happy in future. I'm guessing it's recent enough. If so, take your time, see it as a chance to do things for yourself you may otherwise have missed out on, surround yourself with good people and chances will come.


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    #5
    levi12
    Registered Users Posts: 31 ✭levi12


    Yes its recent in the last 18 months but I know I am better off without him now the truth has come out. I was told for years I deserved better but I was in love......but now I agree.

    I have been told I am good looking. Im no supermodel more girl next door and yes I have invested time and effort in making sure I dont fall apart.....for myself and my family.

    But im human and young and yes its tough being the mom with the responsibility of family when the dad is busy spreading his wild oats a little frantically. I could go looking for that and there are plenty that would oblige im sure......but im better off healing and staying single to let it all sink in and let my heart heal.....

    I just needed to know that someday......my prince may still find me.....this bloody tower gets lonely.....and if that "reeks of desperation" so be it.....its the truth.


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