There's this guy.....

Minimix

Hi all!!

Looking for some advice from guys and girls please!

There's a guy who if met and felt I clicked with. We text for months regularly and met twice (would have met more only both busy and bit of a distance issue). As the weeks past the texts gradually stopped. Out of the blue about two months later he text.
Is he interested? I'd love to meet him again but he didn't suggest anything. Was basically a general how are you type three message conversation. Should I suggest meeting up?

cazzer22

Hi OP.

This happened to me before with a guy I really liked. We had a couple of good dates, conversation, it would all stop, then he would contact me again out of nowhere and then all my feelings would come rushing back.

From my experience, guys like this are just playing around, they know you like them and are just going to reply to them when they drop you and pick you back up.

If a guy can't be bothered to contact you regularly, the reality is, he's probably seeing other people/ or may not be that interested in you.

Maybe suggest meeting for a drink in an informal way and see his reaction from there? He might just be busy with work etc but, if a guy is genuinely interested, he should be making the effort to contact you,

Best of luck

Lou.m

cazzer22 wrote: »

Hi OP.

This happened to me before with a guy I really liked. We had a couple of good dates, conversation, it would all stop, then he would contact me again out of nowhere and then all my feelings would come rushing back.

From my experience, guys like this are just playing around, they know you like them and are just going to reply to them when they drop you and pick you back up.

If a guy can't be bothered to contact you regularly, the reality is, he's probably seeing other people/ or may not be that interested in you.

Maybe suggest meeting for a drink in an informal way and see his reaction from there? He might just be busy with work etc but, if a guy is genuinely interested, he should be making the effort to contact you,

Best of luck

Bingo he is a player. If you are looking to hook up then that's cool. But in my experience these types of people end up being bad news.

It is a push pull dynamic instead of directly expressing his true intentions.

Only you can judge whether he is being manipulative or real. Part of it could be an ego trip part of it could be a dishonest way to get what he wishes. If you want the same thing then go for it.

You have to make sure you are both on the same page and for that you guys have to be honest.

If he is messing around then you would be dodging a bullet bye saying goodbye now.

There might be another reason like him being busy etc. But reconnecting is not a text saying hey how are you? It is genuinely reconnecting and catching up.

Everyone deserves to be treated as they treat others. If this is not for you and what you want isn't for him then wish him the best and move on to someone who is on the same emotional page as you.

Ultimately only you can judge if he has real feelings or not though. You probably know. Just make sure you are getting the same respect you are giving.

strobe

Minimix wrote: »

Hi all!!

Looking for some advice from guys and girls please!

There's a guy who if met and felt I clicked with. We text for months regularly and met twice (would have met more only both busy and bit of a distance issue). As the weeks past the texts gradually stopped. Out of the blue about two months later he text.
Is he interested? I'd love to meet him again but he didn't suggest anything. Was basically a general how are you type three message conversation. Should I suggest meeting up?

How do you mean 'the texts gradually stopped'? Were you texting him and he just wasn't replying? Or were you waiting around for him to text you first so you could reply?

irishguy1983

Yeah I'd say he's just looking for a bang.

Here on a Friday afternoon I'm contemplating texting a girl I haven't seen in weeks. Only 1 reason.

leonidas83

irishguy1983 wrote: »

Yeah I'd say he's just looking for a bang.

Here on a Friday afternoon I'm contemplating texting a girl I haven't seen in weeks. Only 1 reason.

Go easy on the hookers will ya.

OP, yes it doesnt sound good. The truth being told, the vast vast majority of guys will go out of their way to meet up a girl they really like. If he doesnt like you enough in the beginning to even meet up your better off without him.

Go out & meet as many guys as possible, there's nothing more attractive in a girl that's not easily available, confident, sociable, has many options. Waiting down the end of the telephone for someone to make you happy is never the right idea. Show him what your made of

irishguy1983

leonidas83 wrote: »

Go easy on the hookers will ya.

OP, yes it doesnt sound good. The truth being told, the vast vast majority of guys will go out of their way to meet up a girl they really like. If he doesnt like you enough in the beginning to even meet up your better off without him.

Go out & meet as many guys as possible, there's nothing more attractive in a girl that's not easily available, confident, sociable, has many options. Waiting down the end of the telephone for someone to make you happy is never the right idea. Show him what your made of

+ 1.

Playing it cool is not not texting for a few days.

Not texting for a few weeks/months and then texting is 'I have no plans this weekend and I'm up for a bang'. I find myself with nothing to do this Saturday night, I know I'll be hungover and horny tomorrow so I am simply going to chance my arm

Minimix

strobe wrote: »

How do you mean 'the texts gradually stopped'? Were you texting him and he just wasn't replying? Or were you waiting around for him to text you first so you could reply?

I mean we text every week at one stage, then a bit less until he didn't reply so I didn't text him again. Then out of the blue he was back in touch. Why just text, then never suggest meeting up or anything?

Minimix

irishguy1983 wrote: »

+ 1.

Playing it cool is not not texting for a few days.

Not texting for a few weeks/months and then texting is 'I have no plans this weekend and I'm up for a bang'. I find myself with nothing to do this Saturday night, I know I'll be hungover and horny tomorrow so I am simply going to chance my arm

If that's the case, why not even go as far as suggesting meeting up/going out/for a drink? ...........Leaves it at an unanswered general conversation text!

LegacyUser

Minimix wrote: »

If that's the case, why not even go as far as suggesting meeting up/going out/for a drink? ...........Leaves it at an unanswered general conversation text!

hi, I have to agree with the other posters here (mine from previous experience).
More than likely, he's bored or wants some attention.
If he was interested, he'd be suggesting to meet you and be in regular contact.

There is no big wander here. He isnt suggesting to meet up, because he wants you to do all the work (another sign of total playerism). He wants you to suggest to meet up. Ego boost right there for him. Palm of his hand.

I think you should be careful here letting him into your life. I did it once (exact same situation) and he'd no interest in me once he got his fix/boost.

Lou.m

As I see it he just wants a quickie so basically he is a write off. Unless you really are mates there is no need to continue B.S texts where he skirts around what he actually wants etc.

It's a waste of time for both of you. You could be spending it trying to get to know other guys and he could be spending it with a girl looking for the same thing.

Be honest OP you are angling for something deeper and he is angling for something else.

Neither of you is being fair to the other then.

He hasn't been respectful and just thinks you'll jump.

If a quickie is not what you want then you deserve more.

Even if he wasn't up for a one nighter. He obviously is not making any effort ..so he sounds like he is just not that into you.

If he went hot and cold before ..he is just gaslighting you.

beauty101

Minimix wrote: »

Hi all!!

Looking for some advice from guys and girls please!

There's a guy who if met and felt I clicked with. We text for months regularly and met twice (would have met more only both busy and bit of a distance issue). As the weeks past the texts gradually stopped. Out of the blue about two months later he text.
Is he interested? I'd love to meet him again but he didn't suggest anything. Was basically a general how are you type three message conversation. Should I suggest meeting up?

It sounds like you're his "back pocket" girl OP. The one he falls back on when there's nobody else holding his interest. If I were you I'd break all contact with this lad, he sounds like he's just playing the field. You deserve much more than that!