I want to die

LegacyUser

The last 2 months have been hell for me. I don't even know why I'm posting this other than the fact that I used boards in the past before for other stuff. I guess I'm just hoping that if I can write all this down then I'll somehow feel better.

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Tokyo

OP - I appreciate that you are in a difficult place right now, but it is against our policy to allow threads such as this. Please understand that this is in your own best interest, as with the best will in the world, none of us can put ourselves in your shoes right now, and run the very real risk of giving you bad advice.

Seeing that you are already receiving therapy, I strongly suggest that you contact your therapist immediately and make an emergency appointment. They will already have an idea of what you are going through and wil be in a better position to offer help. In the meantime, please have a look at our charter - there are resources there that are ready, willing and able to help you right now - all you need to do is pick up the phone and ask for the help. I have posted the links below.

We will also pass details of this thread to the user turn2me.org who will be in touch offering their services to help you through this difficult time.

Regards,
Mike

Depression / Mental Health
http://www.irish-counselling.ie/
http://www.dublinsamaritans.ie/
http://www.mentalhealthireland.ie/
http://www.grow.ie/
http://www.aware.ie/
http://www.shineonline.ie/
http://www.recover.ie/ (Schizophrenia Ireland)

Suicide
http://www.nosp.ie/ (national suicide prevention)
1Life Suicide Prevention Helpline - 1800 247 100
http://www.pieta.ie/
https://www.turn2me.org/ - registered rep on boards contactable at turn2me.org

Tokyo

Introduction to turn2me.org

Hello,

My name is Eoin O'Shea and I am a counselling psychologist working at Turn2me, an online mental health organisation (www.turn2me.org)

A Boards moderator recently brought a post of yours to my attention (as part of a collaborative support arrangement which Turn2me has with Boards.ie). It seems you were quite distressed - I take this very seriously as you must really be suffering quite a bit at the moment.

What I would like to say is that we can provide anonymous support at Turn2me should you wish to (a) avail of our support forums, (b) take part in our Online Support Groups which run every day, or (c) use any of the other features at our site.

As part of a programme called 'Engage' (details of which can be found at www.turn2me.org), I would be happy to offer you a number of free online counselling sessions which are then combined with at least two of our other services to make sure you get the support and help you deserve - free of charge.

Please let me know if you'd have an interest in this - just so that I can touch base with you and make sure you've received this message - and you can then apply for the Engage programme online by visiting our site.

I wish you the very best and hope to hear from you soon,

Eoin

turn2me.org

Hello OP,

I'm really glad you've reached out for support with your OCD difficulties. You're quite right in suggesting that intrusive thoughts are a very common symptom in such cases and these can often be distressing and highly difficult to change.

It sounds as though much of your distress is caused by what you take the occurrence of these thoughts to mean. As you're working with a CBT therapist - which is a good step, by the way - he/she will probably work with you in ways which will help you to alter your understanding of what it means when these thoughts occur. For instance, people with OCD actually have very similar thoughts to everyone else in terms of those thoughts' content. However, people with OCD typically overestimate the importance that a thought has actually occurred and very often use ways to try and 'beat' the thought which actually makes it persist for longer. This can all be discussed, and worked with, alongside your therapist.

In the meantime, please do let your therapist know that things have got this bad for you - they will be glad you told them and help you to get through the really tough times. If things reach a point where you believe yourself to be at risk, please contact your healthcare provider, e.g. your GP, asap in order to keep yourself safe while you work on these issues with your therapist.

Finally, please see this site for some useful information about OCD. I wish you the very best.

https://sites.google.com/site/2920383/the-facts-about-ocd

Eoin
Turn2me
www.turn2me.org