Competition: Win tickets to the Improv Asylum!

Dav

[EDIT]

I'm really sorry to say folks, but the Improv Asylum aren't going ahead with their shows in the Tivoli, but I'm told they're actively seeking another venue.

So until we hear from them, I'm afraid we've got to close off this competition as obviously with no show, there are no tickets.

apocalypse_7

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911. "My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that he's dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

Tar.Aldarion

Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo. After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.


The urge to sing 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' is never more than a whim away.

Tar.Aldarion

Feck it one more.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
"No thanks, I'm traveling light."
(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

stargazer 68

Guy goes to is doctor and says Doctor I feel like Mickey Mouse today and yesterday I felt like Donald Duck.

Doctor says how long have you been having these Disney spells?!!

Sorry - exit stage left!

:o

FouxDaFaFa

I PUT A CHAMELEON ON A RED DILDO.










It blushed.

Big AK1

Why does it take one woman with PMT an hour to change a light bulb?
'COS IT JUST FCUKING DOES OKAY!!

What, too crude, or not crude enough?

fobster

Two cannibals are eating a clown …

One says to the other, does this taste funny to you?

fobster

I went to the optician the other day because I thought my glasses were crooked...

Turns out...

It was just my face!

fobster

Third time's a charm!


I'm so used to putting in contact lenses...

I could do it with my eyes closed.