My brother is addicted to porn

LegacyUser

Found a load of disgusting stuff on my computer after he was using it. Sex enters the conversation on a constant basis, he views women as nothing more than sexual objects, doesn't know how to treat women decently, even those in his own family, is dirty, smelly and make's fun of everyone, as well as being extremely aggressive if people don't agree with him.

I know I won't change him, he's an adult and lives his own life, he's not a puppet, but I resent him hugely and wish he wasn't my brother, because I think he's disgusting. I don't know how to reconcile this state of affairs in my head.

Chucky the tree

What's to reconcile? You hate your brother because he's a ****. I wouldn't consider that a huge deal. Just because he's family doesn't mean you have to love them/think they're brilliant or amazing. Just accept that you hate him and make steps to distance yourself from him forever.

LegacyUser

I feel sorry for you OP he sounds really awful, may I ask how old you are and do you live with this person? You don't have to have a relationship with your brother just because he's your brother you know. However if you are living under the same roof that would be very difficult. If you are not living together I would simply minimise contact to the very least, who needs that kind of vile person in their life. If you live together I'd be looking to move out as soon as possible if you are old enough. If you are living with your parents and not in a position to move out, have you approached them about the issues?

Vito Corleone

What did you find on the computer?

myshirt

Have you researched the NoFap programme, and Fapstronauts?

Also, check out <dead link removed by mod> and see if your local priest can offer help and possibly counselling. Porn addiction is a serious psychological issue. If you can find it in your heart, your brother needs your help. Not your resentment. Though yes, I can see where you are coming from.

freshpopcorn

How do yo know he is addicted to porn tough? Do you have any proof he is addicted to it or do you just think he is. Also was the stuff very disgusting I know some couples in both hetrosexual/homosexual relationship and there into quite rough sex/bdsm and there's nothing wrong with it because there two adults and that what there into. Both I know other couples and they would he disgusted by what these people get up to and there would be more into vanilla sex. Same goes with porn viewing I have friends who would view rough porn/more basic and there's nothing wrong with either not them aaas long as the material there looking at is legal..
As for him being dirty/smell. He might need advice about personal hygiene or he could be depressed or him mightn't care.
Some people make fun of others and others don't.
He might just be a bit of a bully, and he thinks his behaviour is acceptable. I know some people would consider somebody making fun of somebody as a bit of fun and the person being made fun of finds it funny to but other would find it offensive.

Lou.m

If he is young he has time to mature and I would be easier on him.

If he is in his twenties and still at this stage to be honest that is who he is by now.

There is nothing wrong with men watching porn so long as they realize it's fantasy and women are simply humans and generally not as 'willing' nor are we objects to be used.

Watching hardcore legal porn is fine so long as it does not injure him or anyone else.

The fact that he left a lot of it on your computer is disrespectful and his other attitude and social problems seem to paint a picture of someone not well adjusted to others regardless of gender.

If he is not caring for himself in terms of health and cleanliness and anti-social and online too much watching porn I would wager he might be depressed? Is he working?

You say he can't treat even women in his own family normally? Where did he learn this?

I can't imagine he gets along with men well either.

RossFixxxed

Lou.m wrote: »

I can't imagine he gets along with men well either.

That's exactly what I was thinking, if he's rude, laughs at people, smells etc it sounds like he has a problem and that the porn isn't really to blame here.

Is he just a horny teenager with no clue? We've all been one of those!

What is 'disgusting' in this regard? If it's just hardcore stuff then it's totally subjective what is disgusting. If it is something illegal then yeah it's a lot worse. But porn itself isn't bad, when it gets in the way of day to day life it is definitely an issue. However, from your post the porn seems irrelevant with absolutely no details or context!

the_monkey

myshirt wrote: »

Have you researched the NoFap programme, and Fapstronauts?

Also, check out www.whodoesithurt.com and see if your local priest can offer help and possibly counselling. Porn addiction is a serious psychological issue. If you can find it in your heart, your brother needs your help. Not your resentment. Though yes, I can see where you are coming from.

The local priest ???

Really !!!


Why should someone religious help with a porn "addiction" ??

thegreatgonzo

the_monkey wrote: »

The local priest ???

Really !!!


Why should someone religious help with a porn "addiction" ??

Why should anyone help with any sort of problem? Poster is just letting OP know what options are out there.