What is she playing at?

LegacyUser

I'd really appreciate some thoughts on a situation i have got myself in with this girl.

We are both late 20s and have known each other for years. We have had a couple of kisses in the past but we never seemed to both be single at the same time for long and for one reason or another we never got together. We have always been close though but at the same time I dont think friends would ever have been an accurate description.

Anyway I got back to Ireland recently and had been messaging her. She suggested the two of us meet up, which we did. For the first time we were both single, talked about what went before and we kissed. We messaged quite a bit after this talking about more nights to come etc and shortly after met up with some mutual friends - who didnt know about our recent date.

We continued to talk a lot, but didnt get to meet up due to work, family commitments etc, which was fine. Then pretty much out of the blue, things have gone silent her end. I rang her, she said she was in work and she would ring back, never did. I have messaged her a couple of times since and get a response, but never one that invites anymore chat. She was away laast week and we exchanged a message or 2 and i left it saying to let me know if we can meet up when she is back. Since then nothing after getting back at the weekend.

I know this all sounds very teenage and if it wasnt for her being who she is I would just leave it be and move on. But the truth is that I'm mad about her, she knows this and has told me just a month ago she wanted to try and start something with us.

I'm somewhere between angry and confused at the moment. Possibly she has been too busy in the last couple of weeks (I know and understand she works very long hours), but I dont think it takes much to let me know that. It feeels like her silence is speaking volumes. What I don't get is that she was the one who initiated things again only a few weeks ago.

What's worse is there are a couple of events we will both be going to soon and I don't know what to do. Any thoughts?

Thanks

Tokyo

On the outside it doesn't look optimistic, to be honest. It's been my experience in life that if two people have been together for years and have kissed a couple of times in the past but nothing more, then there's usually a good reason for it, from one side at least. After all, you excuse it by saying that you were never single at the same time, but obviously that's not true if you have kissed a few times.... I hope. Either way it's quite possible that whatever doubts she's had in the past about why it wouldn't work have resurfaced, and she's trying to ease her way back out of the situation.

At this stage the only way you're going to know for sure is to stop hinting at things and just talk to her upfront about it. If she's told you that "she wanted to try and start something", then it's time to ask her if it's something that she's still interested in as her behaviour indicates otherwise. Her reaction will tell you what you need to know - if she dodges the issue or finds excuses for not going any further, then you have your answer - once and for all this time - and it's time to move on.

strobe

Sounds like there's a fair possibility she's met someone else she's interested in man. He's in, you're out. Just a guess, but sounds like that's what it could be.

Barely There

She's either just not that into you, she's met someone else or a combination of the two.

pinkfloyd34

I wouldnt text her anymore, and try to move on, if she realises then she misses you then she will contact you but the more you contact her it might get a bit clingy and that will push her further away

Dellnum

I agree with Pinkfloyd. You asked her to let you know when she could meet up with you and she has not responded, so the ball is in her court. There is no need for you to contact her again to discuss anything because if she does not get back to you then you have your answer.