Would you adopt?

fr336

I'd definitely consider it - of course there's an urge to have my own kids, but despite all the 'good' things most people do for their children (well up to a certain age), I find it essentially a selfish act. The person doesn't exist before you make them - all the good times in their life are down to that decision, but also all the bad. Not to mention if they're born with health issues. The world is also getting more and more populated and despite the general environmental impact, the child you have will likely even in the best of scenarios be living in a quite precarious situation within the next decades when it comes to jobs etc. I'd rather help a child already here. Of course adoption isn't without its downsides for the child in question but I feel it's a less of two evils. Please don't consider this as me having a go at everyone who has their own kids my word that'd be a long list of people :P It's just a personal thing to me..though the natural instinct may still easily get at me as time goes on.

Micky Dolenz

No, not for me.

There are a few exceptions, if I had to do it for legal reasons to take care of my deceased siblings children or similar.

fiachraX

Similar to Micky - not for me. Not even sure I'd adopt a sibling's kids if I took over looking after them after an accident, say - unless there was some pressing legal reason to do so. I mean, their parents would always be their real parents, and I wouldn't want to pretend otherwise. I don't mean I'd let it affect how I treated them in any way.

Pumpkinseeds

No.

Chattastrophe!

If I couldn't have children naturally, I think I'd prefer to adopt rather than go down the route of IVF etc. Having said that I know someone who spent an absolute fortune trying to adopt from China and Russia, the adoptions fell through last minute both times, that puts me off. They weren't eligible to adopt an Irish child because of their age (I think only mid thirties at the time.)

Or maybe I'd just get a puppy. :P

fr336

fiachraX wrote: »

Similar to Micky - not for me. Not even sure I'd adopt a sibling's kids if I took over looking after them after an accident, say - unless there was some pressing legal reason to do so. I mean, their parents would always be their real parents, and I wouldn't want to pretend otherwise. I don't mean I'd let it affect how I treated them in any way.

Not sure in that situation it would necessarily be pretending otherwise.

Micky Dolenz

fr336 wrote: »

Not sure in that situation it would necessarily be pretending otherwise.

I don't know. I know 2 people who found out as adults that their parents were in fact their grandparents and their sister was really their mother. Teenage mother, child adopted by grand parents. It's more common than we know.

Without hesitation, if it's either a relative's child who I'd like to have the security of knowing I was their forever parent (while making sure they knew I was Mum no 2), or a child in difficult circumstances who needed the same love and security. I think in the case of voluntary infertile parents that it's a very unselfish and altruistic decision, and in the case of involuntary infertility it's a decision that benefits everyone.

I would qualify by saying that I'd be happier adopting a very young child, as I'd be more likely to make a beneficial difference to their lives than I would an older child who may already developed life long problems if they previously lived in challenging circumstances.

I also have nothing but admiration for foster parents, I can't imagine how difficult that job is and I'm not nearly a good enough person to take that on.

Barely There

Maybe if the child wasn't ginger or anything I'd consider it.

candy-gal1

A chinese baby, or a panda then maybe!

Sir Osis of Liver.

A snow leopard yes,
someone elses little bollix no.

Micky Dolenz

Candie wrote: »

Without hesitation, if it's either a relative's child who I'd like to have the security of knowing I was their forever parent (while making sure they knew I was Mum no 2), or a child in difficult circumstances who needed the same love and security.

There are thousands of kids who need the same love and security. Do you mean kids you know personally?

_Whimsical_

I would definitely consider it. I'd feel very strongly about how important it is to give a child who needs it a home and parents. I'd feel absolutely honoured to do it.

I'd be wary of foreign adoption due to stories of babies being taken from mothers who loved and wanted them. No matter how much I would want a child myself I couldn't do that to someone. I'd expect to allocate money to investigate and insure that was not the case

fr336

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

I would definitely consider it. I'd feel very strongly about how important it is to give a child who needs it a home and parents. I'd feel absolutely honoured to do it.

I'd be wary of foreign adoption due to stories of babies being taken from mothers who loved and wanted them. No matter how much I would want a child myself I couldn't do that to someone. I'd expect to allocate money to investigate and insure that was not the case

You sound great!

PLL

Yes I would love to, I had a bad childhood and lived in an unhappy home, so I would love to be able to give a loving home to a child that doesn't have parents that can do it for them, for whatever reason. I know what it feels like to be lost and lonely and feel like you don't belong and I knowing that I could change that for a child would be one of the best feelings in the world for me. I really would love to adopt and it has always been a thought in my mind.

I have a 2yr old daughter and in the future will be considering this as an option. People have said what a loving and kind mom I am, I'm not trying sound like the greatest mom ever I'm really not but I know what it feels like to have the person who is meant to protect you not give a damn so for me a loving home is paramount to my life goals, actually at the top of them.

_Whimsical_

fr336 wrote: »

You sound great!

I am!

Genuinely though it's something I'd think would be a life's work. If I could give someone a home and the love they needed I feel like that alone would make my life worth while. I would die happy.

Tiddlypeeps

Your post implys there are are more children put up for adoption than we can find homes for. I'm fairly certain this isn't true, not for newborns anyway. Pretty sure there are more parents that want to adopt in this country than there are babies put up for adoption.

It's also very expensive, so if you can produce your own children then it wouldn't make economical sense to adopt. A lot of people may not be able to afford that option too. Especially if you are older and need to adopt from another country.

Adopting an older child comes with a fairly large amount of issues and potential problems down the road. I can't say I would blame anyone for not choosing this option and I have a high amount of respect for anyone that does.

fr336

PLL wrote: »

Yes I would love to, I had a bad childhood and lived in an unhappy home, so I would love to be able to give a loving home to a child that doesn't have parents that can do it for them, for whatever reason. I know what it feels like to be lost and lonely and feel like you don't belong and I knowing that I could change that for a child would be one of the best feelings in the world for me. I really would love to adopt and it has always been a thought in my mind.

I have a 2yr old daughter and in the future will be considering this as an option. People have said what a loving and kind mom I am, I'm not trying sound like the greatest mom ever I'm really not but I know what it feels like to have the person who is meant to protect you not give a damn so for me a loving home is paramount to my life goals, actually at the top of them.

Hope it happens for you

con___manx1

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

I don't know. I know 2 people who found out as adults that their parents were in fact their grandparents and their sister was really their mother. Teenage mother, child adopted by grand parents. It's more common than we know.

I know someone who calls her mother as her sister. She was brought up by her grandparents. Her mother had her when she was pretty young. One of my best friends is adopted along with his twin sister I would have no problem adopting myself. I also have two cousins who were adopted from different familys .only one of the 4 have sought out there real parents.

fr336

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

Your post implys there are are more children put up for adoption than we can find homes for. I'm fairly certain this isn't true, not for newborns anyway. Pretty sure there are more parents that want to adopt in this country than there are babies put up for adoption.

It's also very expensive, so if you can produce your own children then it wouldn't make economical sense to adopt. A lot of people may not be able to afford that option too. Especially if you are older and need to adopt from another country.

Adopting an older child comes with a fairly large amount of issues and potential problems down the road. I can't say I would blame anyone for not choosing this option and I have a high amount of respect for anyone that does.

I don't know much detail on it. As far as I'm aware Boards doesn't form part of the application process though..

At the moment if it wasn't an option for me I'd have no children then. However I will probably end up going against my better judgement and having my own I don't feel old, so I have a while still either way I reckon.

Tiddlypeeps

fr336 wrote: »

I don't know much detail on it. As far as I'm aware Boards doesn't form part of the application process though...

I have no idea what this means or what is has to do with anything I said

fr336

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

I have no idea what this means or what is has to do with anything I said

'Your post implys there are are more children put up for adoption than we can find homes for. I'm fairly certain this isn't true, not for newborns anyway. Pretty sure there are more parents that want to adopt in this country than there are babies put up for adoption.'

Happy?

CarMe

I'm not sure but I'd love to foster!

BetterThanThou

I'm young and haven't got a significant other, so right now, I've put very little thought into ever having kids. As far as the adoption thing goes, in the future, it's something I'd consider, because I believe parents are the people that raised the kid, and it makes little difference if they're genetically yours or not. But at the same time, I think it would be nice to have a kid that's pretty much a part of you. I'm not swayed heavily in either direction, it's something I'll have to look into more when/if the time comes.

Tiddlypeeps

fr336 wrote: »

'Your post implys there are are more children put up for adoption than we can find homes for. I'm fairly certain this isn't true, not for newborns anyway. Pretty sure there are more parents that want to adopt in this country than there are babies put up for adoption.'

Happy?

Not really, what has that got to do with Boards forming part of the application process?

fr336

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

Not really, what has that got to do with Boards forming part of the application process?

Never mind, be lucky

Smidge

Absolutely yes.

My name is URL

Well unless they change the rules making it easier for single people or cohabiting couples to jointly adopt, then no. I know single people can apply to adopt; but it's incredibly rare for it to be granted, especially if the applicant is male.

Micky Dolenz

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

There are thousands of kids who need the same love and security. Do you mean kids you know personally?

No, I think by virtue of the fact that the child is available for adoption that it's in need of love, security and a stable home. I'm not just talking about Irish or European adoptions here either, I'd have no prejudice about adopting from further afield, where arguably the need is greater.

Arthur Beesley

Do i get to choose the nationality / ethnicity?

suicide_circus

Definitely yes. The earth cannot sustain population growth rates as it is, let alone me adding my low grade genes to the mix just to stroke my own ego.

Lucyfur

I would absolutely love to adopt. It's such a pity it cost thousands.

iguana

There are almost no (very young) children put up for general adoption in Ireland now and international adoptions are becoming more and more difficult to complete. I think in the last 3 and a half years only 11 foreign adoptions have completed in Ireland. It is also incredibly expensive to adopt from abroad. It can very easily come to more than €30,000 per child and you pay thousands upfront without any guarantee that the adoption will complete.

iguana

iguana wrote: »

There are almost no (very young) children put up for general adoption in Ireland now and international adoptions are becoming more and more difficult to complete. I think in the last 3 and a half years only 11 foreign adoptions have completed in Ireland. It is also incredibly expensive to adopt from abroad. It can very easily come to more than €30,000 per child and you pay thousands upfront without any guarantee that the adoption will complete.

What a crime against humanity that is, when we know of so many kids worldwide in need of families, and so many families willing to provide that love and safety.

Something is very wrong with the system, and I have a feeling it might be bureaucracy.