Help Needed With Birds

The Backwards Man

I go out of my way for the birds, buy them peanuts, build beds for them, I even built little cages around their feeders so the bad birds couldn't get their food.

And how do they repay me? Attack my mirrors constantly all day long and crap all over my doors. I've tried tying bags around them but the dog keeps pulling them off.

Anyone got any suggestions for me?

Pat Mustard

Golf might suit you.

Kilgore__Trout

Anti aircraft gun?

errlloyd

The only b word you should use to describe girls is beautiful, b¡tches love that.

sillyoulfool

Buy a cat, maybe even a few cats!

The Backwards Man

sillyoulfool wrote: »

Buy a cat, maybe even a few cats!

I don't want any harm to come to the birds, I just want to teach them basic manners i.e don't poop where you eat.

notnumber

Treat em mean,keep em keen...works for all types of birds.

YellowFeather

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I go out of my way for the birds, buy them peanuts, build beds for them, I even built little cages around their feeders so the bad birds couldn't get their food.

And how do they repay me? Attack my mirrors constantly all day long and crap all over my doors. I've tried tying bags around them but the dog keeps pulling them off.

Anyone got any suggestions for me?

Why are you tying bags around birds?? :eek:

FortuneChip

Stop feeding them beside your car.

The Backwards Man

YellowFeather wrote: »

Why are you tying bags around birds?? :eek:

Around the mirrors so that it fools the birds. Apparently they do it because they are thinking that it's a rival in the mirror trying to fight them. The dog is a kleptomaniac and steals everything that isn't nailed down.

AnonoBoy

Buy an Eagle or spread Tiger poo all over your back garden.

They might not work but they will ensure everyone in your street thinks you're mental.

YellowFeather

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Around the mirrors so that it fools the birds. Apparently they do it because they are thinking that it's a rival in the mirror trying to fight them. The dog is a kleptomaniac and steals everything that isn't nailed down.

Fup off with your explanation. Mine is funnier.

Chucken

The only solution is to get rid of your car.

Red Nissan

The Backwards Man wrote: »

And how do they repay me?

They leave personal greeting cards on my mirrors and windscreen.

Yesterday, after I forgot to feed them, they attacked my dining room window, a guest who never saw anything like with was horrified and thought it was like a visit from the Banshee.

No, I said, it is not, I just never fed them, they get really miffed when that happens.

The Backwards Man

Chucken wrote: »

The only solution is to get rid of your car.

Another website suggested I put another decoy mirror out somewhere to draw them away, but I'm from Donegal, we don't keep many mirrors around the place!:pac:

Chucken

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Another website suggested I put another decoy mirror out somewhere to draw them away, but I'm from Donegal, we don't keep many mirrors around the place!:pac:

*Serious Hat On*
We put a sheet of stainless steel, about a foot wide,across the top of the shed with a little shelf under it. They perch there and love looking at themselves. Wagtails in particular are very vain

Thundering_Sky

Clearly the birds are taking advantage of you!! you need to end the relationship ie stop feeding them then they will leave you.

gg2

Attach a scarecrow to your car. Duh.

Call Me Jimmy

AR YOU 'AVIN A GIRAFFE MATe?!

The Backwards Man

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

AR YOU 'AVIN A GIRAFFE MATe?!

Have enough bother with the dog and the birds, no need for any more animals thanks. The dog has now taken to pulling the drainpipes off the wall. All my animals are mad.:(

Hotale.com

I don't even know.

corner of hells

Chucken wrote: »

*Serious Hat On*
We put a sheet of stainless steel, about a foot wide,across the top of the shed with a little shelf under it. They perch there and love looking at themselves. Wagtails in particular are very vain

.My neighbour did this , however the mad cnut who lives at the back of him thought he was some sort of peeping tom and called the Gardai , they asked him would he mind removing the piece of stainless steel .
He removed it just to keep the peace.


The birds then took to waiting in a tree in the mad cnuts garden and ****e all over her washing.

Stavros Murphy

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Have enough bother with the dog and the birds, no need for any more animals thanks. The dog has now taken to pulling the drainpipes off the wall. All my animals are mad.:(

Same her. I "adopted" a stray red setter - the fcuker has my life a misery - I walk it, it gets fitter and wants longer walks..the git is killing me with the walking. I may have to shoot it for the sake of me knees..

The Backwards Man

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

Same her. I "adopted" a stray red setter - the fcuker has my life a misery - I walk it, it gets fitter and wants longer walks..the git is killing me with the walking. I may have to shoot it for the sake of me knees..

Get yourself a mobility scooter and leave the poor mutt alone!:mad:

:pac:

Muise...

Open a guano shop!

Lou.m

Don't feed them birds have a reflex to 'go' soon after they eat. My Dad and grandad kept starlings. They cannot fly comfortably unless they do. Cover your mirror, it attracts them.

If you have a sprinkler you could use that on them.

You can get an optical bird repellent. Copper mesh or netting.

Sound bird repellents are very effective but expensive.

http://www.birdbgone.com/products/bird-deterrents/transparent-bird-gel-1.html

http://www.birdbgone.com/products/bird-repellents/bird-off-gel.html
There are some surfaces birds don't like their feet touching they don't like stickiness. It stops them roosting.

Alternatively create a visual decoy.

The visual perception system of most birds isn't that sophisticated; it doesn't take much to fool them. You could make something or buy something that looks like a big hawk or eagle easily and it actually will fool them.

Also birds don't like the smell of soil sulfur. You could use a little of that.

The Backwards Man

annascott wrote: »

Crows and magpies and such.

annascott

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I go out of my way for the birds, buy them peanuts, build beds for them, I even built little cages around their feeders so the bad birds couldn't get their food.

Cantremember

Stop feeding them all that fibre. It makes them want to poo all over the car. Constipate the ****ers.

Sir Arthur Daley

The Backwards Man wrote: »

The dog has now taken to pulling the drainpipes off the wall. All my animals are mad.:(

Isnt he very handy at the diy, dog using cordless drill. one for youtube.

Engine No.9

Why is your bird crappin on the doors? Filthy bítch.

The Backwards Man

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

Isnt he very handy at the diy, dog using cordless drill. one for youtube.

Na, she pulls the turns off at the bottom, not the whole thing. Wee scallywag can redirect the one from the kitchen sink so she can get at anything poured down it. She's smarter than me.

Sir Arthur Daley

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Na, she pulls the turns off at the bottom, not the whole thing.

Tip of the day to you, put back on the shoe on the pipe and drive in 2 small self tapping screws opposite each other into the shoe and pipe, that will quiten her gallop.

The Backwards Man

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

Tip of the day to you, put back on the shoe on the pipe and drive in 2 small self tapping screws opposite each other into the shoe and pipe, that will quiten her gallop.

Na, I'd be afraid what she'd turn her paw to next if she couldn't get at them.

Sir Arthur Daley

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Na, I'd be afraid what she'd turn her paw to next if she couldn't get at them.

I think you need Cesar Millan to pay you a visit, fly him over ryanair for a day.

FullblownRose

They are supposed to be scared off by their own reflection, though. Or do birds poo on their rivals, real or imgined? lol

I only now how to keep them off of an area of land (garden) and revent them from flying into glass doors or windows. You could buy a periscope or get used to looing over your shoulder when reversing your car.

WilyCoyote

Obviously not drinking enough!

Mr. Z

It sounds like they may have bowel problems. It could be quite embarrassing for them.

Maybe you could slip some of that Imodium-type medicine into their feed. Instead of having to constantly clean up/off the mess they leave, you'll be able to watch the now hardened droppings fall straight off the doors with little to no mess left. This way you can then, collect and store the droppings for later without any problems.

Either that or take out the doors.

LizzieJones

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I go out of my way for the birds, buy them peanuts, build beds for them, I even built little cages around their feeders so the bad birds couldn't get their food.

And how do they repay me? Attack my mirrors constantly all day long and crap all over my doors. I've tried tying bags around them but the dog keeps pulling them off.

Anyone got any suggestions for me?

Quit feeding the birds and find a new hobby.

WilyCoyote

Or put up a notice saying, "NEXT BIRD THAT MAKES NUMERO DUO HERE GETS A FREE COLONOSCOPY".

Gandhi

YellowFeather wrote: »

Why are you tying bags around birds?? :eek:

More importantly, how did you train the dog to get in there and give them handjobs?

I go out of my way for the birds, buy them peanuts, build beds for them, I even built little cages around their feeders so the bad birds couldn't get their food.

And how do they repay me? Attack my mirrors constantly all day long and crap all over my doors. I've tried tying bags around them but the dog keeps pulling them off.

The Backwards Man

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Anyone got any suggestions for me?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY