Obsessed with my health

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm due to have a endscopy because of a burning sensation in my esophagus. Yesterday without almost realising it I had filled black bags with items from my home so my family would not have to clean it out after I die.

I have nowhere near being told I'm dying but my head tells me I am and has already predicted the results of the examination.

Everything in my orbit seems to be so negative at the moment.

Any ideas how to overcome this maddness without resorting to medication please?

Rubberchikken

You must be feeling scared.
Has you gp indicated that there is something to be worried about or are you just like the rest if us, frightened if the unknown?

I know it's easy for me to say not to worry but until you have the procedure and get the results you can't do anything about it.

I hope everything works out well for you.

Semele

Is this the first time you've experienced anything like this, or do you tend to catastrophise/go to the worst case scenario straight away? A lot of the time behaving like you describe can be about control- especially with health conditions and tests there's an awful lot of waiting about and uncertainty is really hard for our brains to cope with. You often hear people saying they'd rather just know the worst than have to wait any longer, don't you?

You acting as though you've already got the bad news is essentially a way of taking back control....you're just acting as though you know the outcome because that gives you something to do and tasks to focus on. But is is unnecessary and unhelpful! I know it's easier said than done but try to take your mind off it. If you do get unpleasant news (which is probably the far less likely option anyway) then the next step would be treatment and support. It would never be a case of bad news-go home, you're on your own and you may as well start throwing out your belongings now.

This way of behaving may just be a learned pattern. Everyone in my family is prone to awful health anxiety and catastrophic thinking and, even though I work in the field and know how to manage it, it's still really hard to not react in that learned way! I asked if you find this is a common way of thinking for you- if it is then you'd benefit from seeing a therapist, ideally for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). That doesn't involve medication and will teach you effective strategies to talk yourself out of thoughts that you know are irrational.

In the meantime, try to relax. My mum had countless endoscopies a while back for the same symptom you describe, and that ended up all being stress-related- the more worried she got the more she experienced the symptoms, therefore the more convinced she was there was something really wrong. She tortured herself unnecessarily by assuming the worst. It's a symptom of so many fairly minor things. You will almost certainly be fine and even if you're not then that doesn't automatically mean you're dying. It will just mean that you have a condition requiring treatment- nothing that you can't cope with if necessary.

Do you have friends or family who you could talk to and who can come with you to the appointment?