Do you enjoy lad groups or mixed groups?

karaokeman

As in, do your groups tend to be all/mostly male or mixed?

Would you go on a lads holiday or a lads night out?

I used to be in groups of mainly or all males, but nowadays I prefer being in mixed groups because I think both genders learn a lot more about the opposite sex if they associate with them as much as their own counterparts.

skallywag

karaokeman wrote: »

...I think both genders learn a lot more about the opposite sex if they associate with them as much as their own counterparts...

Spot on. Though after following said advice I came to the conlusion that I preferred going out with just lads

winston82

skallywag wrote: »

Spot on. Though after following said advice I came to the conlusion that I preferred going out with just lads

Too much drama with the ladies!!

keane2097

It seems crazy to me that anyone would say lads only!

Bassfish

All my work colleagues are women hence all work nights out are girls plus me. Get on grand with them but god sometimes I'd do anything to be able to talk man ****e at work. I have a crude sense of humour that has to be kept in check around the ladies. Would love to socialise with my own gender a bit more tbh.

Call Me Jimmy

Yes my biggest problem with mixed is things have to be slightly toned down. With the guys it's basically a free for all anything, I mean anything can be said. I like the freedom, but I also find that I get more energy when there's women around coz I like showing off to them

Most of my socialising these days is done at house parties - and it is always mixed. Prefer it that way - especially when it gets a little heated or descends into sordid games of truth and/or dares.

ongarboy

keane2097 wrote: »

It seems crazy to me that anyone would say lads only!

I think there are a fair number of guys (and probably girls too) who are not comfortable being their natural self in front of the opposite sex and tend to prefer their own gender's company as a result. This could be down to never having sisters, going to all boys schools and male dominated college courses or work places, hobbies and sports. It doesn't necessarily affect them from hooking up with women (sex or relationship wise) but because they may not have had an opportunity to be exposed to girls in environments where they can get to know them as other human beings first, potential sexual beings second, maybe this is where the discomfort surfaces.

Knex*

When it comes to nights out, I prefer having the pre session with the lads, and then we'd usually arrange to meet some of the women in a pub before the club, or whatever. Both can be fun though.

On the other hand, if was just staying in a house for the night, then I would definitely want the crowd to be mixed.

hfallada

I prefer mixed groups as men will act totally different around women. Just lads groups can talk so much ****, like as in talking for 2 hours without a single constructive thing said. But they will have a totally different conversation with women around eg not talk about who they wanna bang for 30 mins.


But there is nothing worse than a mixed group of friends, when some of the lads are socially retarded to women. They tend to make a group awkward. Plus I find lads who have mixed friends are better craic on a nightout. They arent the type that need to get wasted to talk to girls in the club

karaokeman

Some interesting discussion going on here.

Personally I prefer having conversations where constructive things are said and discussed, even if it's one of my nerdy interests to one where the group talks nothing but crap. I find the latter happens with either sex when they only socialise with one another.

Like Bassfish I too have been the only guy in a large group of women hence how I know they like guys can spend 2 hours talking drivel. I can feel left out if they talk crap, but only crap women would understand, however I have turned the conversations to something more interesting for me. I've heard a saying that listening is as good as speaking, often you never know when some turn of the chat will enable you to change the conversation to something related to that one note but better as a whole.

Girls are great craic for dancing with on nights out in the clubs, whether they be friends or new faces you meet at the club.

OnTheCouch

I try as little as possible to not fall into the trap of behaving differently around women as men, as I find it a bit false, but with the best will in the world, there are just certain things that can be discussed easier with an all-male group. Although I don't mean stupid fart/sex jokes as I don't see the appeal of them at all.

However, to come back to the question, I used to go out with all-male groups and tended to prefer them unless we were on the pull or something. However now I find mixed to have a better variety of conversational topics. What I will say for male-only is the nights out tend to be that little bit more impromptu, ie with ladies present there generally aren't that many sudden changes of plan, they seem to have a pre-arranged schedule and tend to stick to it, whereas men can sometimes just decide to go somewhere on a whim.

Of course these are just the people I hang out with and have known over the years.

Aidric

All depends on the angle you're coming at it from. If you're in a relationship then hands down a night out with the lads wins every time.

If you are on the pull a night out with a few mates, a female friend and her friends can deliver the goods.

BetterThanThou

Some of my closest friends are women, and I'll invite them along to anything, but I've found in general, women just aren't as fun as men to be around, bar the few women I mentioned beforehand, I'll take a lad group every time.

Kev.OC

ongarboy wrote: »

I think there are a fair number of guys (and probably girls too) who are not comfortable being their natural self in front of the opposite sex and tend to prefer their own gender's company as a result. This could be down to never having sisters, going to all boys schools and male dominated college courses or work places, hobbies and sports. It doesn't necessarily affect them from hooking up with women (sex or relationship wise) but because they may not have had an opportunity to be exposed to girls in environments where they can get to know them as other human beings first, potential sexual beings second, maybe this is where the discomfort surfaces.

That is depressingly accurate description of me. Only child who went to an all boys secondary school, did engineering in college, worked as a barman and a carpenter. I only have a handful of friends anyway, but practically none are women.

So honestly I can't really say I prefer one or the other cause I've never spent enough time in mixed groups to have a decently informed opinion of the associated pros and cons.

Lou.m

I'm female.

For the first three years of secondary school I went to an all girls school.

The the last three I went to a co-ed school and obviously Uni was mixed.

Over the last couple of years my hobbies got more male centric.

I like running and sci-fi and have found my group of friends has become more male.

The only hobby I have were there might be more females is dance but to be honest outside of classes that group does not socialize together.

I have made an effort recently to be more mixed.



I think the people who socialize in more mixed groups are happier and healthier.

I wonder at the Irish school system.

I see both girls and guys who basically associated only with their own gender through teen years and some are emotionally stunted not all of course.

But many Irish people end up thinking the other gender is a stereotype and are half terrified of each other. They are convinced the other gender is from another planet.

Some guys or girls go straight from a single sex school into another either female or male centric subject or profession.

I'm glad I have mostly been around mixed groups from a young age.

Listening to how both genders talk about each other can be funny though. They both think the other is thick.

I find if I am mostly in the company of lads they tend to forget to tone it down. I think I tend to absorb this and if I go back to a female friend they think I am overly crude.

Female friendship are more emotionally nurturing for me.

I think guys who are not used to women can seem standoffish or cold or something and end up being intimidating. Some men give off signals they are totally unaware off.

I don't think women realize how annoying they/we can be either. I kinda feel like the kid sister around guys 'am I bugging you?'. I think the cutesy girly thing can bug guys. BUT WE NEED TO DO THE CUTESY GIRLY THING SOMETIMES!

Guys groups don't get nuance as much but are more blunt. But they can BS a lot. I find certain guys cause a different kind of drama. If you get a group of cool girls there is no need for dramatics. There is always that one psycho bitch that needs to be avoided. But by your twenties you usually leave girls like that well alone.

There is also a huge pecking order of hierarchy in some male groups not all.
Not to think the sexes are different is a mistake but to think they are that different is a mistake also.

I don't think I am that different with either. But I think we all need a girly day sometimes or a lads day or whatever. But it is cool for girls to do a lads day ....and vice versa.

In the end I prefer mixed ..but a group of good nice genuine people ...not gob****es.

A Primal Nut

ongarboy wrote: »

I think there are a fair number of guys (and probably girls too) who are not comfortable being their natural self in front of the opposite sex and tend to prefer their own gender's company as a result. This could be down to never having sisters, going to all boys schools and male dominated college courses or work places, hobbies and sports. It doesn't necessarily affect them from hooking up with women (sex or relationship wise) but because they may not have had an opportunity to be exposed to girls in environments where they can get to know them as other human beings first, potential sexual beings second, maybe this is where the discomfort surfaces.

Agree with this; I went to an all-boys school and then mostly-male engineering college; plus just one sister who is a lot older. So it took me a long time to get over the awkwardness around women, to not be shy, etc. It's a stupid thing but it's the way it was.

I'm fine now though.

I can definitely have a good laugh with girls on a night out plus there is the added bonus of them possibly bringing some friends along.;)

AlanS181824

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Yes my biggest problem with mixed is things have to be slightly toned down. With the guys it's basically a free for all anything, I mean anything can be said. I like the freedom, but I also find that I get more energy when there's women around coz I like showing off to them

Exactly! Kinda a pain sometimes tbh...