Confused About It All

confused1985

So I met this guy through a friend, we were texting back and forth then 3 weeks ago we had our first date which I was under the impression we both enjoyed, he said he'd love to see me again. Ever since between one thing and another we haven't met up-most of the time I've been available but he's been busy with going to football, then it was mothers day, then he was broke, then he had a weekend away and now this weekend he's back to being broke again.

We've been texting ever since our date and it is usually him who initiates contact 85% of the time and he sounds keen but I'm guessing he's not. I feel as if I've given him the benefit of the doubt for long enough...surely in 3 (almost 4) weeks he'd have made time if he wanted to see me.

Advice please, I really like him

Celly Smunt

I honestly think he probably is broke and wouldn't want to take you out half arsed-ly with no money. If he's initiating contact, he's interested.Maybe ask him for a "hang out day" to the zoo or something, he probably thinks you're expecting a lavish night out and can't afford it.

Alf. A. Male

Maybe suggest doing something together that doesn't take money and see how he responds, more excuses or he follows up the supposed keenness with action. I reckon you'll have your answer then.

LegacyUser

I dunno OP I'd be inclined to think he's just one of those guys who likes the ego buzz and attention of stringing you along. It sounds like even though he's initiating contact you're the only one bringing up a second date. That being broke excuse doesn't wash with me tbh, a couple of coffees 5/6 euro a bus to meet you and home 5/6 euro, unless he's unemployed a tenner is hardly going to break the bank. Even if a tenner would break the bank a walk in the park or something is completely free....

For closure as another poster suggested I'd suggest an activity that costs nothing and see what his excuse is maybe a free art exhibition, walk, offer to make him dinner, whatever.

I think personally I'd be deleting his number though, no ones so busy over 4 weeks that they don't even have time to go for a stroll for an hour and my tolerance for game playing head wreckers is zero.

LegacyUser

I'd recommend to him going for a walk in the park, to the beach or to a free museum or something. The point of a date is to get to know each other while having some fun, right?You can get to know each other while doing any of those things.

rcarroll

Why is it up to her though to sugfest the free date? She's akready asked him out and he siad no. OP you've made an effort- if he wanted to see you he would have made the time and if broke.he would have suggested sth free. Unless our other dates were extravagent and he ended up payinf for it all i really wouldn't waste my time

confused1985

rcarroll wrote: »

Why is it up to her though to sugfest the free date? She's akready asked him out and he siad no. OP you've made an effort- if he wanted to see you he would have made the time and if broke.he would have suggested sth free. Unless our other dates were extravagent and he ended up payinf for it all i really wouldn't waste my time

I actually haven't outright asked him at all. The weeks have just rolled on and every time I've said I'm not doing anything he's been busy. On our last date we split everything 50/50, I'd say we both spent about €30 each max

rcarroll

I would be a lot more forward in general and have no problem asking a guy out. However, there's a lot to be said as well that if a guy likes you, he'll let you know....I really wouldn't be happy leaving weeks go by and not going on a date if it was someone I really liked - I think if he was really taken with you, he'd have made sure you wouldn't be slipping through his fingers like this. It sounds like he might have got on well with you, enjoys the chat but is not altogether pushed - I'd be looking for more, if it was me. You can ask him on a date, he might say yes, but really - I'd be a bit hesitant until I saw more of a push from him

confused1985

rcarroll wrote: »

I would be a lot more forward in general and have no problem asking a guy out. However, there's a lot to be said as well that if a guy likes you, he'll let you know....I really wouldn't be happy leaving weeks go by and not going on a date if it was someone I really liked - I think if he was really taken with you, he'd have made sure you wouldn't be slipping through his fingers like this. It sounds like he might have got on well with you, enjoys the chat but is not altogether pushed - I'd be looking for more, if it was me. You can ask him on a date, he might say yes, but really - I'd be a bit hesitant until I saw more of a push from him

That's exactly how I feel, the reason I haven't asked him is really because he hasn't asked me! Though at the same time I don't see the point in him saying sh*t like "I wish we could meet up this weekend" and "can't wait to see you again". It's mind-boggling

Merkin

He doesn't sound particularly fussed tbh.

If you want send him a text and say 'so are we meeting up again and if so, when?' And he doesn't come up with a definite plan/date then I wouldn't waste a moment longer on him.

missjm

I'd ask him straight out if he wants to meet again soon. This guy is faffing about. He is somebit interested but if he was very interested in you, he'd have clinched it by now. I wouldn't be wasting much more time texting back and forth without a date being organized.