moral dilema - weekend cancelled - should i pay up??

sporina

so my friend and i were suppose to go to killarney for the weekend..

she had reserved a hotel for us - we would both pay on departure….

however she is now ill - on antibiotics and so decided to cancel the weekend..

as the booking was in her name, she has had to pay for the first night - but not the 2nd - only 3 days were needed for 100% refund on cancellation..

when we were deciding what to do, she said she would pay..

but should i offer to split it?

Penny Tration

Tbh you don't have to, as she cancelled.

However, it's one day. It'll cost, what, fifty or sixty quid each? I'd pay it because it's not like your friend just decided to be a cow and cancel, she's not well.

It'd be a nice thing for you to do.

sporina

green_screen wrote: »

Tbh you don't have to, as she cancelled.

However, it's one day. It'll cost, what, fifty or sixty quid each? I'd pay it because it's not like your friend just decided to be a cow and cancel, she's not well.

It'd be a nice thing for you to do.

hmm

Tokyo

sporina wrote: »

hmm

Sounds like you have your mind made up already and want us to tell you what you want to hear

Do you have an obligation to pay up? Probably not. Would a good friend make the offer and at least give her the chance to refuse? Probably.

MissFlitworth

I would if my friend was sick and that was the reason we weren't going away.

Meauldsegosha

I'd offer to pay. It's not something I'd even think twice about.

MagicMarker

It's not like she just isn't bothered to go, she's sick!

If you're a good friend, you'd at least offer.

If she's a good friend, she'd refuse your offer.

If you're a really good friend, you'd insist.

Stavro Mueller

I know this isn't supposed to turn into a debate but I'd be curious to know why you feel you shouldn't at least offer to pay?

The way I see it, you and your friend were going to split the bill anyway (I'm assuming you were going to share a room). She falls ill and cancels the weekend. Because of this, you think it's OK to stick her for the full cost of the room? Are you mad at her for cancelling the weekend? Do you think she's exaggerating the symptoms? Honestly, I don't see any moral dilemma here at all.

Katgurl

I would pay half if it was me. It's not your friend's fault she is sick so it would be a nice thing to do.

sporina

MagicMarker wrote: »

It's not like she just isn't bothered to go, she's sick!

If you're a good friend, you'd at least offer.

If she's a good friend, she'd refuse your offer.

If you're a really good friend, you'd insist.

your so right..

maryk123

Yee both agreed to go away together. Yes she cancelled but because of sickness. I think you should pay half. It could cause hassle between yee. How good friends are yee, I would pay

Dee01

I don't think it would have entered my mind not to pay and I wouldn't expect my friend to refuse to le me pay.

How about going with another friend/sibling/parent/partner instead? That way the weekend is still on and there's no lost money?

m'lady

Unless you potentially don't want to be going on any breaks again with her I'd pay your half, she hasn't just decided to pull out ,she's sick.

Is there anybody you could ask to take her place, and maybe they could contribute towards her half, reducing what she will have to pay? That's a win-win situation!

Lovely Bloke

I think the OP is the sick one, and is wondering if her friend is actually her friend.

It's incredibly bad form for the unsick person here to not even offer to pay half the, essentially, cancellation fee. Sickness cannot be helped, so it would be the decent thing to do to offer to pay half, and then go and maybe try to get something for a later date - maybe even in the same hotel. If you ring them up they may take the payment, or some of it, off the price of another weekend.

hoodwinked

sporina wrote: »

so my friend and i were suppose to go to killarney for the weekend..

she had reserved a hotel for us - we would both pay on departure….

however she is now ill - on antibiotics and so decided to cancel the weekend..

as the booking was in her name, she has had to pay for the first night - but not the 2nd - only 3 days were needed for 100% refund on cancellation..

when we were deciding what to do, she said she would pay..

but should i offer to split it?

with the above line it sounds like she was sick before the 3 day deadline but waited to cancel and now has to pay,

if this is the case, i think the fact your friend has offered to pay in full means she already feels guilty about it, and perhaps she put off canceling it hoping she would feel better, and wouldn't have to cancel.

under these circumstances i would pay half.

qdawg86

If it was me who fell sick, I would offer to pay and I wouldn't be upset if any friend of mine didn't offer to pay half, because I know, that if it were them who were sick, they would cover the whole cost.

Yer both adults- swings and round abouts.

All this offering/expecting to counter offer/pretending to refuse is a load of childish bollox.

MissCatherine_

If the position was reversed and you were sick and had to cancel, would you want her to offer to pay half?

I think you should pay it. The cancellation is unavoidable if she is sick. She has not done it on purpose and anyway it probably only going to cost 100 euro max.

If she was such a good friend that you were going away for the weekend together then I think the right thing to do is pay your half or at least contribute 1/3 of the cancellation cost.

ongarboy

hoodwinked wrote: »

with the above line it sounds like she was sick before the 3 day deadline but waited to cancel and now has to pay,

if this is the case, i think the fact your friend has offered to pay in full means she already feels guilty about it, and perhaps she put off canceling it hoping she would feel better, and wouldn't have to cancel.

under these circumstances i would pay half.

I would offer and if she accepts, pay with good grace. It's what good friends do for eachother. If she refuses to let you pay, treat her to a meal or a present sometime (doesn't have to be the same value) to make up for the missed weekend and for her generosity in insisting that you didn't pay for the booking.

If want to harbour resentment over paying her 50 quid, then you will be the one losing out (and I'm not talking financially). Life is too short for negativity.

sporina

thanks for all the replies - the self righteous one's and all… lol..

i guess i was not going to offer to pay because i knew she would not accept - as she has not accepted my offer.
if the shoe were on the other foot i would not let the other pay either - i would feel bad enough as it is - even though the UTI was out of my control - you can blame a catholic upbringing for that i guess..

we have rebooked for another date and like someone suggested, i will pay for dinner or something..

i would actually like to pay half - cos i love the girl…

ronjo

sporina wrote: »

thanks for all the replies - the self righteous one's and all… lol..

i guess i was not going to offer to pay because i knew she would not accept - as she has not accepted my offer.
if the shoe were on the other foot i would not let the other pay either - i would feel bad enough as it is - even though the UTI was out of my control - you can blame a catholic upbringing for that i guess..

we have rebooked for another date and like someone suggested, i will pay for dinner or something..

i would actually like to pay half - cos i love the girl…

So Insist

Gael23

sporina wrote: »

we have rebooked for another date and like someone suggested, i will pay for dinner or something..

i would actually like to pay half - cos i love the girl…

I was just going to suggest something like this. When she gets better, go out for a night and you buy a nice bottle of wine or something