Relationship distance/circumstances advice

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this thread. Have a question to put to you all. I've been seeing a girl for the past 2 months and things are going well. I want to make the next step but I don't know if I should or not. Basically, I don't know if the timing or circumstances are right, otherwise I'd happily push to make things more official.

The trouble is 1) that we're both going to be travelling with our own respective group of friends this summer, on different continents so won't be able to see each other at all for at least a month and 2) we both have new jobs starting late this year that will place us 2 hours driving distance apart.

I suppose I'm just looking for yer own perspective and experience with such a situation. Is this a bad time to be starting a relationship or can it work? I've never liked a girl this much and I don't want things to end so soon because of these circumstances. Any advice would be appreciated!

Obliq

tippman89 wrote: »

Is this a bad time to be starting a relationship or can it work? I've never liked a girl this much and I don't want things to end so soon because of these circumstances.

I'd suggest that you say exactly this to her and see what she thinks herself! It'll definitely work out if you both want it to. There are ways around the 2hr distance like both of you living equidistant from your respective places of work, for example (if things work out that well!).

Tokyo

That's very much a "how long is a piece of string" question right there I'm afraid. I know couples who wouldn't last a week apart, but I also know other couples that teach overseas in different countries who see each other three months of the year, and have been together a long time now, so it's really something that you need to sit down with this girl and talk about.

I wouldn't even see the summer holidays apart as being an issue to be honest - it's only a month - but working two hours apart will have an impact on your lives, and will take some planning around, devoting pretty much all of your weekends to seeing each other, etc. Going by the tone of your post you seem to want to give it a shot, so might be a good time to sit down with her and see where she thinks the relationship is going, and if she feels the same way. Only then can you both really make an informed decision on this....

burke027

My tuppence worth.
Met a girl two year ago who at that time had plans to go to Thailand for 3 weeks 5 months after we met. Needless to say I was worried. But I new how good we where together and looked at that side of it. I new that this was all she wanted and so was it all I wanted. We instantly feel for each other. So I really was worried about the holiday and the time came and I told her to go she didn't know if she wanted to or not. So she went and yes it was hard cobsidering how much we spent together. But by god did it show us that we are ment to be together. She hatted it over there spent all her time on the phone to me. We then went on a summer holiday together. I preposed to her she's now my fiancée and where getting married next year.
So do what u think is right if you's want to be together you's will simple as that really

Scarinae

I can work if you both want it to – like the other posters have suggested, talk to her about it and see if you’re both on the same page.

I got with my boyfriend in April of second year in college, and at that stage I’d already arranged to spend the summer in Central America and he was going to spend it in Africa. Between the two trips, we didn’t see each other from June until September.

As for when you’re both back and living two hours apart – it is definitely doable. It’ll take a bit of arranging, and only you both know if it’ll be worth it, but if you both really like each other and want to stay in the relationship then you’ll work it out.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the advice guys. Had a chat yesterday and turns out we're not on the same page at all. Gutted to say the least, but that's the way it is.

Tokyo

Fair enough. All I can say is better to find out now than spend a summer worrying about it. Try to put it behind you, and focus on your trip with your friends.