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Low self-esteem :(

  • 09-04-2014 4:53pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm hoping someone can give me some help here but even writing this here just reiterates my issue I think.

    I have seriously low self esteem and low confidence. I over think absolutely everything. I feel like I have absolutely no control over my life anymore.

    From the outside, people who don't really know me haven't a clue about this. I put on a front. I joked once in work about having low self esteem and one of my colleagues said that he'd find it hard to believe that me of all people, could possibly have low self esteem.

    Every little aspect of my life I discuss with my friends. I have about 6 friends who I would regularly moan to (these friends are not connected in anyway but they know of each other). For example: If there is a guy I'm interested in I will talk to each of them asking them what they think I should say next, what they make of the conversation I've had with them the night before, what do they think it means that he liked a status on fb etc. I'll zone in on anyone that says anything positive. I don't want to hear anything that will lead to me being 'alone' or 'unhappy'. I won't go out on a night out without getting the okay from at least 3 people about my outfit choice.

    I attend a counsellor once a week as well who I also have a winge to. I don't think we talk about the correct things though. I talk about how my week went etc. We don't deal with the fact that my confidence is so low and that I rely on other people to tell me what I should and shouldn't do. I rely on him as well to tell me what to do sometimes!

    I initially went to the counsellor because I broke up with my ex (which of course I discussed with all of my friends before actually going through with it). I should have known myself that the relationship was bad. If someone had come to me with the same issue I'd have told them to get out years ago. I've decided that I should change counsellor to see if that helps.

    I don't really know what I'm trying to get out of this thread, it's another window to vent I guess. I didn't even realise this was an issue tbh until one of my friends said to me 'You are over thinking this. How many people are you talking about this problem with?' I had to lie and say just her and one other. I felt ashamed to say that I had spoke to about 6 people asking their advice :(

    I don't know how to break this habit or how it even formed in the first place.

    Can anybody offer any help?


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