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Kids book I'm working on

CitizenCreane · 2014-04-09 15:01:09

Hi guys. Just wanted to throw up some excerpts from a kids book I'm toying with at the moment. http://www.paulcreane.com/excerpts-patchroof/ Happy to hear feedback :) Paul

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09-04-2014 4:01pm

#1

CitizenCreane

Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭

Join Date: January 2014

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Hi guys. Just wanted to throw up some excerpts from a kids book I'm toying with at the moment.

http://www.paulcreane.com/excerpts-patchroof/

Happy to hear feedback

Paul

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#2 15-04-2014 10:30am
EileenG

Registered Users Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭

Join Date: July 2007

Posts: 5669

What is going on here?

I read a bit, and sort of lost interest, because it didn't seem to be going anywhere. What is the conflict? Where is the story going?

Also, I'm a bit confused by the background. It has a feel of something that is set in the last century, where kids were allowed to sit on roofs and go off on their own to fields half a mile away. I thought for that time, he was far too cheeky. But more to the point, would a modern child be able to relate to that?

My kids go nowhere without a mobile phone.

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