Need some advice

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

I need advice about men.

I am a 23 year old female, after starting my dream degree and I have great class mates. However, there's something missing.
Ever since I was in my late teens, I have constantly been rejected by lads. And if I wasn't being rejected or treated as if I was wearing harry potters invisibility coat, I was 'dating' lads who have dumped me less than three months into the relationship because somebody else had caught their eye before I've been given a chance.

Anytime I go out with the girls, men literally talk through me to someone else. I am ignored basically. Even during the day, men ignore me.

I get along great with people, but seem clueless when it comes to men.
I consider myself a smart, fun, independent girl. I would consider myself good looking. Friends and acquaintances over the years have always said I was 'stunning' etc but I doubt it. If it were true, surely men would see this?

I have never been approached on a night out genuinely or anywhere really.
I went on THAT stupid app recently thinking I was missing out and although I have had a lot of 'matches', it has only served as an example of how I cannot seem to interest or intrigue men.

My mother, biased as she is, reckons I am missing the signals.

I don't understand what I have done wrong.

What to do?
Some insight into the male mind or women who know what they are doing would be great
Thanks!!

Czarcasm

From just reading your post OP, you sound like someone who likes to have everything "just so" - overthinking the whole thing and trying to predict how things should go, that if you do this, this and this, that should happen.

That idea would normally work in a controlled environment where you can say for certain what the outcome will be. But when it comes to people, be they male or female, people can be unpredictable as fcuk, and just when you think you can predict what should happen next, they can often surprise you.

Three months with somebody at 23 years of age is actually GOOD going tbh and nothing to be worried about. You've got your family life sorted, your friends and your social life sorted, your education and your future career sorted; you're doing a hell of a lot better for yourself than a lot of 23 year olds I know!

It sounds cliche but self confidence is a major factor in your ability to appear attractive to other people, and if you don't see or won't acknowledge your own self worth, then how can you expect anyone else to see it? It's all good to say you're physically attractive and you're fun and you're an interesting person, but that should give you confidence in yourself that you don't need to have your friends or your mother reassure you, or even any of the posters here give you a step by step on how to appear attractive to the opposite sex.

Try to relax and stop rushing things like you have to have every part of your life compartmentalized and organised. When you approach life at that craic, you'll end up settling for the nearest numpty just to say "phew, at least I don't feel left out of the loop now I have a boyfriend". More relevant than the fact you now have a boyfriend, is what kind of a guy he is, and it's usually helpful if he shares some of your values, outlook on life, ambitions, etc. Not to be too facetious but we don't come with a quality control stamp off a production line. The more people you meet, the more chance you have to meet someone you have more in common with, and then you build on that, rather than expecting they will fit neatly into your life.

Stan27

Don't worry Everything will work out. Better to wait a bit longer for the right person than wait a short time for te wrong person. Just relax and be your self, for me She come out of no where and I am happy out now.