Keep it going or let it die?

LegacyUser

Hi there,

so.. 28 year old woman here who is having some problems with a recent guy I've been seeing.

We met on POF and things were going great at the start - we're interested in similar things, he makes me laugh, he's in a good job etc. I was hurt quite badly in my last relationship and haven't been with anyone in over two years. He came on quite strong in terms of sex at the beginning - wanting to go all the way and such. I'm the type of girl where it takes me awhile (few months maybe) for me to get into that.. I'll do all the other stuff for ages but it just takes me awhile to warm up..

When in bed I noticed I wasn't into it.. and when he came he kind of just stopped trying to make me cum which left me feeling deflated and annoyed.. I'd then have to get myself off after he went home as it was pent up and such. He knows I was in a horrible relationship a few years ago and after three weeks he tells me he thinks 'it's time' to move on to proper intercourse.. I'm not even satisfied with what we're doing at the minute and I don't feel like going beyond what we're doing based on that.

I also have a piercing on my lower lip.. It was done in my mid 20s and I'm definitely growing out of it.. recently he told me i'd look 'gorgeous without it' and has asked me a few times if I wanted to take it out. I said yes I am planning on it, and now every few days he asks if it's been taken out.... And that it doesnt bother him too much but he'd prefer if i didn't have one.

Am I reading this wrong or should I just get out while I can? I feel like I want to give it a shot to a degree.. but are these not massive warning signs?

Thanks,
G

Tokyo

with all due respect OP, it sounds like you are trying to get us to make the decision for you that you have already made in your head. You say that you are interested in similar things, that he makes you laugh and all, but other than that, what you describe seems to indicate that you're simply not that into him. You don't feel at all satisfied in bed with him, you don't have any interest in going any further in bed with him, you don't like how he's dealign with the fact that you have a piercing...

You want to give it a shot to a degree? I'm not sure what you mean by that, but it sounds to me as if you could take it or leave it. Which doesn't seem to be a very strong foundation for a relationship if I'm to be honest.

Merkin

Am with Mike on this, I don't know why this is a personal issue for you when you're clearly not at all pushed about him. If you're not feeling it and he has a habit of making you angry then just call time on it, simples.

bluemagpie

It sounds like you think he is pressuring you and you're not up for it, if not either say it, or else finish it. Start as you mean to go on so talk to him about it if you are interested in having a relationship with him.

Idle Passerby

It seems fairly simple really.

Either tell him your not ready for sex yet and don't appreciate him pressuring you to remove your piercing. (it would pee me right off if someone I barely knew was commenting on what would make me look better in their eyes)

Or if these things bother you to the point you don't want to be with him, dump him.

December2012

You don't sound really into him to be honest.

tara73

OP, sorry to say, but you sound a bit naive because from what you describe he's only using you and not up for a loving relationship as you obviously looking for.

he's pushing you in having sex, although you don't know each other very long, he's getting his satisfaction in bed and stops to care about you the minute he got this satisfaction.

he's very demanding in this early stage of a 'relationship' to pester you to take out your piercing.

seriously, tell him today you are not interested in him anymore, as he's only interested in himself and too pushy.
OP, you sound like you really want a relationhip, but be careful with this dating sites as POF and the likes. so many crap on there, many people just looking for sex as this guy obviously does.

don't let yourself pressure into anything you don't want to do and if somebody starts that so early on, you can be sure he's not the right one.

good luck to you

Wabbit Ears

Sounds like this guy is dating a 28 year old who wont have sex with him and the fact that hes sticking around makes him a bit of a hero IMHO..

With regards to the peircing, Ive seen a few women where it just looks silly and they'd look way better without it. You already say you've grown out of it so him asking every once in a while isnt that unusual or pressuring. Seriously, It sounds something like:

You " Do you think I should get rid of this peircing, I've grown out of it"
him: "yes, I think you should, I think you'd look much better without it"

A week later

Him " so, about that peircing..."
You " STOP PRESSURING ME ARRRAGGGEEEEEE" **head twists around 360 degrees then explodes**