Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Sexless Relationship

Options
  • 04-04-2014 10:52pm
    #1
    HotHHead
    Registered Users Posts: 110 ✭✭


    How do people live in them.. or what would you class as a sexless relationship?
    I've been with my BF now 7 years the past 4 years sex has been once every 2 months or so we've had many fights, talks over this, he says he will try better, its over for a couple of weeks and then back to nothing.
    We have the obligatory hello and goodbye kiss but thats about it. There is always some excuse or else he just blames me, I just gave up really because at this stage what more can I do?

    Ive asked him is it he doesn't fancy me anymore, he says no but is someone likely to tell you they dont fancy you anymore!
    Affair he works 9-5, never missing hardly ever goes out..

    Porn as in to much of it, he goes to bed before me most nights, possibility
    Online chatting to someone else, possibility about 4- 5 years ago, we had issues but he said it was all from before we met! I choose to move on and never brought it up again.


    We have a stressful life, money worries etc like alot of people, but how do people do it? We have had a good few ups and downs and at this stage for me theres more downs than ups but I still wat sex!

    Anyone else the same?


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    Drehen
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭Drehen


    HotHHead wrote: »
    How do people live in them.. or what would you class as a sexless relationship?
    I've been with my BF now 7 years the past 4 years sex has been once every 2 months or so we've had many fights, talks over this, he says he will try better, its over for a couple of weeks and then back to nothing.
    We have the obligatory hello and goodbye kiss but thats about it. There is always some excuse or else he just blames me, I just gave up really because at this stage what more can I do?

    Ive asked him is it he doesn't fancy me anymore, he says no but is someone likely to tell you they dont fancy you anymore!
    Affair he works 9-5, never missing hardly ever goes out..

    Porn as in to much of it, he goes to bed before me most nights, possibility
    Online chatting to someone else, possibility about 4- 5 years ago, we had issues but he said it was all from before we met! I choose to move on and never brought it up again.


    We have a stressful life, money worries etc like alot of people, but how do people do it? We have had a good few ups and downs and at this stage for me theres more downs than ups but I still wat sex!

    Anyone else the same?

    Count yourself lucky, I haven't had sex with my wife in 7 months. It's hard not to think they don't fancy you anymore. Do you have kids? If not then perhaps you should break up with him.


  • Options
    #3
    HotHHead
    Registered Users Posts: 110 ✭✭HotHHead


    7 months! we haven't got to that point yet but at the moment were about 3 months.
    We have 2 children, no babies so sleepless nights are not the issue..


  • Options
    #4
    Drehen
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭Drehen


    HotHHead wrote: »
    7 months! we haven't got to that point yet but at the moment were about 3 months.
    We have 2 children, no babies so sleepless nights are not the issue..

    I've two as well, one is 10 weeks old hence the 7 month celibacy.


  • Options
    #5
    bee06
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Have you suggested couples counselling? Or just counselling for himself to get to the bottom of why he doesn't want sex. There has to be a reason why.


  • Options
    #6
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    Has he ever given you a solid reason as to why he doesn't want sex?

    Has he offered to go to his gp to discuss it?


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    kittycati
    Registered Users Posts: 190 ✭✭kittycati


    Should try maybe get him go to doctor..rule out depression etc...lack of libido symptom of depression too.Or maybe counselling for the two of ye as it is a major issue in the relationship.


  • Options
    #8
    Merkin
    Registered Users Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    You both need to attend couples counselling. Your relationship is wholly unsustainable as it is, so if you want to get back to enjoying a normal, enjoyable and active sex life it seems you need the help of a counsellor to establish the reason for his reticence. If he is unwilling to engage totally then I'd just walk tbh as it's not suddenly going to get better by itself.


  • Options
    #9
    HotHHead
    Registered Users Posts: 110 ✭✭HotHHead


    Will couples councelling help him want sex though? Or just come up with a reason why he doesn't want it..
    Has never given me a real reason why, he will say its both of us, were both tired, were both not in the humour but its him just making excuses...
    I havrbthough about depression, we have the usual money worrys etc, his job isn't stressful..


  • Options
    #10
    bee06
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    HotHHead wrote: »
    Will couples councelling help him want sex though? Or just come up with a reason why he doesn't want it..
    Has never given me a real reason why, he will say its both of us, were both tired, were both not in the humour but its him just making excuses...
    I havrbthough about depression, we have the usual money worrys etc, his job isn't stressful..

    Once you both have a reason then you can start working on dealing with that issue. Depression can happen for lots of different reasons. Just because his job isn't stressful or you have what you think are the usual money issues doesn't mean he isn't depressed.


Advertisement