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Relationship counsellor <mod warning post #2>

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  • 02-04-2014 5:45pm
    #1
    Sin City
    Registered Users Posts: 2,375 ✭✭✭


    Hi all

    I need advice , myself and my ex have been separated since new years and we are both going through hell at the moment with the breakdown of our relationship.

    I want to know if anyone here knows of any good relationship counsellors in Limerick area and also if anyone who actually had relationship counselling felt it beneficial. Could it save a failed relationship where both parties would like to get back together, where one fell out of love and wished they felt differently and the other really wants to give it another go

    Thanks


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    #2
    Tokyo
    Politics Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    Hi OP,

    it's against forum policy to ask for or give business recommendations to posters here, therefore nobody will be able to recommend you a specific counsellor. However, I will leave the thread open to allow others to answer the rest of your questions regarding relationship counselling, on the premise that nobody names specific businesses.

    Regards,
    Mike


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    #3
    Sin City
    Registered Users Posts: 2,375 ✭✭✭Sin City


    Ok my apologies. I thought I saw a previous thread for recomendations for other counsellors here before which is why I posted.


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    #4
    MugMugs
    Registered Users Posts: 17,875 ✭✭✭✭MugMugs


    You can't be counselled back into love with somebody op. Nobody can make anybody or help anybody fall in love. That's just down to the human nature of the couple. No outsider can make it happen.


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    #5
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Afraid the best you can hope for from the counselling is helping the one who is still in love to come to terms that it is over. In my experience if one party has already "left" the relationship, it isn't a relationship anymore, just a mess that someone really should try to clean up.
    Sorry.


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    #6
    December2012
    Registered Users Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    I don't know of it can make you fall in love again.

    What it can do is to help sort out the issues that lead to frustration, resentment, hurt and pain.

    It can help communication.

    This all depends on how much both of you put into the counselling, and of course, whether the counsellor can bring this out in you.

    It's possible that this process can open blinkers.

    It's also possible that it can reveal reasons why you are better off not as a couple.

    In my view, if there a chance of a healthy relationship there and there has been no abuse, it's worth a go.


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    #7
    Sin City
    Registered Users Posts: 2,375 ✭✭✭Sin City


    December2012 wrote: »
    I don't know of it can make you fall in love again.

    What it can do is to help sort out the issues that lead to frustration, resentment, hurt and pain.

    It can help communication.

    This all depends on how much both of you put into the counselling, and of course, whether the counsellor can bring this out in you.

    It's possible that this process can open blinkers.

    It's also possible that it can reveal reasons why you are better off not as a couple.

    In my view, if there a chance of a healthy relationship there and there has been no abuse, it's worth a go.

    No abuse. Just stuck in a rut with no prospects. The circumstances have changed. The one who fell out of love wants to love back but dosnt know if that's possible or if the feeling can be rekindled


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    #8
    December2012
    Registered Users Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    If the want is genuinely there then it's worth a shot in my opinion.

    Good luck


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    #9
    MugMugs
    Registered Users Posts: 17,875 ✭✭✭✭MugMugs


    If they genuinely want to give it a go then there's nothing to lose really I suppose. Best of luck op


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    #10
    Greenduck
    Registered Users Posts: 303 ✭✭Greenduck


    Hiya OP, you could check the IACP website and here you will find a listing of all counsellors and therapists in Ireland. Most therapists will have experience with relationships..its their main business :). There is no regulation for therapists in Ireland but the people listed on this website would have some qualification and done a certain amount of hours. I hope this helps.

    http://www.irish-counselling.ie/


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    #11
    desbrook
    Registered Users Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭desbrook


    Experience from the forums (including S+D) here and "real life" :

    I have yet to learn a of couple for whom counseling provided a long term solution to an emotional reason for relationship trouble ie. typically one person falling out of love . I think it may be more suited where there's an addiction or abuse issue for example giving rise to a relationship problem but both parties still love each other . It's arguable whether that's addiction/abuse or relationship counselling isn't it ?

    Secondly I've yet to meet a couple who separated and a few years down the line did not fell it was 100% the right thing to do . The only regret most feel is they didn't do it sooner . That's despite the huge challenges financially and emotionally that separation brings .

    My mind is open though OP and like you I'd like to hear of positive outcomes with relationship counselling .


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