Advice about night work (single parent)

Tinkerbell1608

Hi Everyone,
Not sure if this is the right place to post this but i'm looking for a bit of advice.
I'm a single parent that wants to get away from the "welfare trap" I'm renting until the end of the month but then moving back in with my dad. Rents are way too high and i don't want to be living on welfare. I'm planning on having a long in depth talk with my dad on the idea i had of getting night work while my daughter sleeps so she's no bother to him. I've literally no child care so day work is a no-no. I also don't sleep much either so night work prob wouldn't be too hard on me.

I know this is a long shot but is anyone else out there that actually did this or know someone who has. And what was it like. I'm expecting it to be really hard. I just wanna better our lives and provide for my daughter. Up till i had her i was working full time.... I'm missing work so bad.

Slobbery

presumably you are speculating about night work so you dont actually know the shift pattern or the length of shifts - 12 hrs etc?

What age is your child? do you have someone to mind her for a few hours during the day so that you can get some sleep between shifts?

I find night work tough, a 12hour shift takes it out of you - even during the day never mind at night, I survived on 3-4 hours sleep a night before I went on shift (baby related), but I still found nights very tough.

I know some people that get very little sleep in between the night shifts, due to minding kids etc, but in alot of places the shift cycle switches from nights to days so you only work two nights in a row. they get through it but admit it is hell.

if you are working more than two nights in a row than I would think that minding a child would be extremely difficult, impossible for me but everyone is different and some people seem to manage.

Coming off a night shift and not getting to sleep when you need to due to a baby or whatever is desperate, especially with another night coming up.

Tinkerbell1608

Hi thanks for the reply.

She's 2, and i was hoping to get little naps here and there during the day. I'm also just hoping to do nights, so while she's sleeping i'd be out. I'd get home sort her out, have my dad watch her for an hour or so and then back up again. Does sound like torture but i'm willing to do it to be somewhere other than stuck on welfare. Also i can function great on little sleep due to the fact i raised her from day one on my own with no help or naps. I've gotten used to little sleep now. But it all rests on whether my dad will agree and help me a bit. He's the old fashioned kind. But i've no guy supporting me so i need to do something and this would be ideal for me. You've to work hard to get places

Slobbery

I admire your attitude, fair play, best thing would be to discuss it with your father to see if he can help and try it - If your two year old takes a nap during the day it would be an opportunity to get a few hours sleep. maybe you could try to get her used to them... with one child it may be just manageable with anymore it wouldnt, but it will be tough - i wouldnt be signing up for anything major, try it out for 1-2 nights a week and see how you go if you are desperate to do it.
when I am on nights I make sure that everything is organised in advance, like all meals or any other jobs that need to be done - just to give me some bit of a break.
On occassion I would have to mind my small one after coming off nights - I am probably not going to get into any parenting books for it but I actually cant stay awake, I could be napping on and off every 10 mins and he plays away himself, if he wants me he will call me and I will take him to bed with me occassionally - I do admit that I feel bad afterwards, just guilty he has to spend his time with a sleep deprived zombie - but what can you do?

dobman88

Working nights is very energy sapping. People see working nights as the easy way to earn good money in a job but I have been doing nights for 7 years, yeah the money is good but I wish I didn't work nights. Most people who have never worked nights think I just sit around all night doing nothing (I am off tonight ) when in fact it is the exact opposite. And then if you have errands to run or anything during the day it is impossible to have the energy for them.

I would seriously consider the option of getting a day job tbh and get child care for your child. If you are moving back home then you can afford it.

You will not be able to survive on "naps" for an hour at a time and still get through a night shift.

Tinkerbell1608

I understand its really hard to do night work but i need to get back working. if i work to pay for child care its not worth it at all. She sleeps all night from 8 till bout 8 the next morning but she doesn't nap during the day. I do have days were i'm wrecked tired and feel like nodding off but i push through and funny enough the sleepiness wears off. Then i don't sleep at night. The joys! I just wanna get back working and saving for the future. I'm in the mind set that i'm still gonna be single in the future. So it's down to me and me alone to provide a good stable life for me and her.
I have great will power and stamina haha! Thats from being a sleep deprived mammy for so long. I'm just hoping i can work things out so i can do this.

Slobbery

Like dobman says OP, for me what you are suggesting would be impossible, I just couldnt do it.
but some guys I work with do it - but again they say it is hell.
it will most likely mean that you are in bad humour, irritable and grumpy with your child, walking around in a daze, on you time off finding you are just in recovery mode and back in again before you know it. I would also question (from my experience) if someone who goes down that route is capable of actually doing there job properly. in fact I would say that they cant.

people may think they can survive on very little sleep, but not sleeping and working night shift are two very different things.

hope I havent burst your bubble OP, just because I cant do it doesnt mean you cant, but you are considering the most difficult option

Slobbery

Tinkerbell1608 wrote: »

I understand its really hard to do night work but i need to get back working. if i work to pay for child care its not worth it at all. She sleeps all night from 8 till bout 8 the next morning but she doesn't nap during the day. I do have days were i'm wrecked tired and feel like nodding off but i push through and funny enough the sleepiness wears off. Then i don't sleep at night. The joys! I just wanna get back working and saving for the future. I'm in the mind set that i'm still gonna be single in the future. So it's down to me and me alone to provide a good stable life for me and her.
I have great will power and stamina haha! Thats from being a sleep deprived mammy for so long. I'm just hoping i can work things out so i can do this.

Maybe working from 8pmish to 2pmish might suit you if you could get anything for those times

sopretty

Are you planning on sleeping at any time?

anthony4335

If you want to see what it is like ,just spend a week awake all night ,doing what ever and trying to replicate what you think it would be like. You wont be long changing your mind about what is possible. You need sleep, and an hour will not cut it.

Tinkerbell1608

ha ha yeah i'm planning on having a bit of sleep. I know it's the hardest option but its the only option that i can see working for me. I've been through a tough time the last 2 years bringing up my daughter. I've grown to actually be able to function pretty well with very very little sleep. I'm a bit OCD too so it's like i'm on a sugar rush all the time. But i'll be looking for something hopefully that's a little less than a 12 hour shift... I seen something earlier from 8pm to 3am. Which to me would be the best time frame to work. I'm a very determined girl! if i get something into my head i see it through and do it.

dobman88

Tinkerbell1608 wrote: »

ha ha yeah i'm planning on having a bit of sleep. I know it's the hardest option but its the only option that i can see working for me. I've been through a tough time the last 2 years bringing up my daughter. I've grown to actually be able to function pretty well with very very little sleep. I'm a bit OCD too so it's like i'm on a sugar rush all the time. But i'll be looking for something hopefully that's a little less than a 12 hour shift... I seen something earlier from 8pm to 3am. Which to me would be the best time frame to work. I'm a very determined girl! if i get something into my head i see it through and do it.

To be fair, it does sound like you have put a lot of thought into it. And if you could get something from 8pm to 3am that would be great but most night shifts would be finishing somewhere between 6am and 8am, starting at anytime from 9pm onwards as these are seen as the times nobody wants to work, just do whatever you are happy with but don't expect it to work out straight away, give it time.

Also, have you actually been diagnosed with OCD? It isn't anything like a sugar rush and it wouldn't help the OCD being up all night and trying to survive on very little sleep. The OCD would just take over your life.

Tinkerbell1608

I have thought alot about it. I'm not going to dive head first into the first job i come across. I do know i have to make sure i'll be able for it. 4 hours sleep does me each night. It sounds weird but if i have more i feel horrible and tired.

Haven't been diagnosed with OCD but i'm very compulsive with everything. if anything is put out of place or moved i will attack! everything has to have its place and perfect. if my little girl messes while shes eating i get a million wipes out to clean her. But i'm pulling back a little. Only took 2 years to accept kids mess themselves and its a part of life! but i still have my moments.

dobman88

Tinkerbell1608 wrote: »

I have thought alot about it. I'm not going to dive head first into the first job i come across. I do know i have to make sure i'll be able for it. 4 hours sleep does me each night. It sounds weird but if i have more i feel horrible and tired.

Haven't been diagnosed with OCD but i'm very compulsive with everything. if anything is put out of place or moved i will attack! everything has to have its place and perfect. if my little girl messes while shes eating i get a million wipes out to clean her. But i'm pulling back a little. Only took 2 years to accept kids mess themselves and its a part of life! but i still have my moments.

Sleeping 4 hours each night is a lot different to trying to sleep during the day, it's torture sometimes to get any sleep and I don't have any kids to think about. But, like I said earlier, at least you are weighing all the options up but I would still suggest getting some form of day work instead of nights.

And I would see a doctor if you think you really have OCD cos it requires looking after. What you described just sounds like quirks tbh. I have a friend with OCD and I see the everyday struggle they go through and they always say they wouldn't wish it on anyone.

vitani

If you're on welfare, could you get a place for your daughter in a community creche? It would be much cheaper than standard childcare rates.

makeorbrake

I worked a nightshift for 2 years + some years ago. I would never work nightshift ever again - not even if they paid me triple time.

Even worse if you had a long commute home afterwards. Many mornings, I would have to keep both windows rolled down on the 40 mile drive home - even in the middle of winter - to keep myself awake! During that time, 2 people died in RTA's that were directly attributable to falling asleep at the wheel.


I got off lightly. There were many that were choosing nightshift for exactly the reasons that you are. Re. to try and both work and solve a childcare issue. I can't even imagine how they pulled this off. I guess it can be done - and it is being done right now by 1000s of nightshift workers. Notwithstanding that, I think there should be a blanket ban enforced on nightshift work - cut down to just essential night work only.

We are not designed to be up and working at those hours. Around 4am is the worst. Your body temperature drops around this time - as you're supposed to be asleep. Even worse still are the days off. I worked a 3 day shift - and it would take me at least a day to get back into synch with a 'days' routine once more. If you work a 5 day nightshift, you will be in night mode PERMANENTLY! What does this mean? It means you will be up the walls - awake all night on your days off.

Additionally, sleeping during the day brings its own issues. Nobody facilitates that. Furthermore, people around you won't appreciate what you do - they will think you are lazy if you're resting or worn out during the course of the day.


I say all that - but some people are prepared to live with it. If you can't find any other solution, then I can understand why you would still pursue this option. However, be fully aware of what you are taking on.

ElleEm

Have you looked around to see if there are many jobs that suit your specifications?

I worked nights, and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. Sometimes, while getting home, I would be dizzy, unsteady, slurring my words, etc. I am not a great sleeper either, but your body wants to sleep at night! If you google the effects of nightwork, you will see it is not healthy. I can't imagine you will be any use to your daughter after working.

Sleeping in the day doesn't suit society, so when trying to nod off (in a house alone, so no toddler noise) I would be kept awake by neighbours cutting grass, kids out playing, people hoovering cars, postmen, sales people ringing the doorbell, binmen, etc. It was horrendous. I remember sitting in bed crying after a 12 hr shift after realising my neighbours had bought a trampoline for their son!

I admire what you are trying to do, but explore other options before nightwork!

MarkR

I may have missed this, but how many hours per day are you planning on getting? If you are working during the night, and you have your child during the day, how many hours do you think you will get? If you are not getting adequate sleep, you are going to be a danger to yourself, your child, and others. You could fall asleep while driving, or cooking. I know it sounds like a sacrifice you are willing to make, but you still require adequate sleep.

Stheno

makeorbrake wrote: »

I worked a nightshift for 2 years + some years ago. I would never work nightshift ever again - not even if they paid me triple time.

Even worse if you had a long commute home afterwards. Many mornings, I would have to keep both windows rolled down on the 40 mile drive home - even in the middle of winter - to keep myself awake! During that time, 2 people died in RTA's that were directly attributable to falling asleep at the wheel.


I got off lightly. There were many that were choosing nightshift for exactly the reasons that you are. Re. to try and both work and solve a childcare issue. I can't even imagine how they pulled this off. I guess it can be done - and it is being done right now by 1000s of nightshift workers. Notwithstanding that, I think there should be a blanket ban enforced on nightshift work - cut down to just essential night work only.

We are not designed to be up and working at those hours. Around 4am is the worst. Your body temperature drops around this time - as you're supposed to be asleep. Even worse still are the days off. I worked a 3 day shift - and it would take me at least a day to get back into synch with a 'days' routine once more. If you work a 5 day nightshift, you will be in night mode PERMANENTLY! What does this mean? It means you will be up the walls - awake all night on your days off.

Additionally, sleeping during the day brings its own issues. Nobody facilitates that. Furthermore, people around you won't appreciate what you do - they will think you are lazy if you're resting or worn out during the course of the day.


I say all that - but some people are prepared to live with it. If you can't find any other solution, then I can understand why you would still pursue this option. However, be fully aware of what you are taking on.

I'd agree with a lot of this, I worked 11 hour nightshifts for 2 years, and you do need sleep afterwards.

What you are suggesting OP is not feasible imo

Tinkerbell1608

Thanks everyone for the replies. You all have valid points that I have to think about now. But being a lone parent and not being able to work while my daughter is awake due to no child care or lack of money for it, Was the best Idea I had.
I'd be looking for 8 or less hours and I know most night shifts are 12 hrs. I just want to better our lives even if I have to sacrifice a part of my sleep. I love working, and I hate doing nothing. Working isn't easy I'm prepared to work hard it's just during the day there's no where affordable I can put my little girl. I keep hitting walls trying to get out of this position it's horrible! But I will take all your advice because it really all is brilliant.... Stuff I wouldn't of even thought about.

ElleEm

Would you look into childminding? It can suit parents who have to look after their own children too. Even if you collected kids afterschool in the afternoons. It could be a bit of a handy number until your daughter is able to use the free creche year or heads off to school.

okiss

In your case I would not do night work. I worked from late evening to early morning a few years ago. My experience at this time was most nights I found it took me at least an hour before I could sleep.
During a summers day I found it hard to sleep due to daylight and children playing outside. Along with this I found it hard to eat proper meals, get exercise so I got more colds and flu. Most of the friends I worked with found the same.

I know that you don't want to be on state benefits long term and are keen to get back to work but you have a 2 year old child. In your case I am sure that you could go back to college and keep your benefits.
Your daughter could avail of the cheap childcare offered my most colleges.
By the time your daughter goes to school you could be in a position to get a good job with proper hours. I also know that in some cases you can avail of cheap after school childcare if you are a single mother.

An Ri rua

I think its v noble, the effort and the moxy that you are showing. But I think night work is a very bad idea and should be avoided if at all possible.

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2014/04/03/sleep-loss-alzheimers-disease.aspx VITAL reading for women. Twice the risk.

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2014/03/06/poor-sleep-pain.aspx

Only do it as a shortcut to getting a day job with childcare sorted.

I saw my father die a slow death with heart disease over 10 years brought on in a big way by having a day job, massive '1980s interest' bank loans and a new farm with 100 lambing ewes. He broke his sleep twice a night to drive 4 miles in a tractor to tend lambing sheep. Last thing at night, then 2am, then 5am, then 8am. Absolutely no doubt, looking at modern research, that it killed him; as a woman warned my mother it would.

Like you, he was a battler and a great worker. But don't be foolish. 'Work to live' does mean that you have to live also. Your scenario sounds like a bad plan. But brave and noble of you. But I would advise not to embark on it.

An Ri rua

Research Lionbridge and see if you can get some work from home with them.

Also, look at the back to work enterprise allowance (keep your benefits and work for yourself for a period) and get a plan together for yourself.

Here's an idea. It might sound silly but there are plenty making a living at it abroad:- If you are any good at stitching / sewing, you could make mementoes like throws/ cushions / covers etc from a recently deceased loved one's favourite piece of clothing. When my father died, it all came into perspective for me. Google it and see what you think. There are lots of things a bright and enterprising young lady like you can do, WHILE keeping your benefits until year 2; phasing out. And maybe you'd land a job in the meantime.

http://www.tammybears.com/custom.html

wmpdd3

I work evenings / nights and have a 2 and a 3 year old.

6 to 1 is grand, any later and I'm like a bat outta hell in the morning. I never leave the house before 12pm as I'm too tired and I worry that I don't stimulate my kids enough in the morning time, but other than that, its great.

Its 5 nights a week so often I only see my other half for 1.5 hours a day, or even not at all, we have a handover book!

Its getting harder now though as my smallest is growing out of naps, I really need that 2 hour to have the option of lieing down before I have to go to work again.

Most people I work with have kids and some do crazy things like clocking off at 6am, get the kids out to school, sleep 10 - 2, up then for the day and back to work at 10pm.

Slobbery

wmpdd3 wrote: »

Most people I work with have kids and some do crazy things like clocking off at 6am, get the kids out to school, sleep 10 - 2, up then for the day and back to work at 10pm.

Ya people I work with do something similar, but that sleep from 10-2pm seems to be a lot more than what the OP is planning on getting

Moonbeam

definately look in to community creches..there are different level of subvention depending on what social welfare payment you are on.