Question for second time mammy's

Synyster Shadow

I've 2 weeks left and the closer it gets the more I feel anxious about leaving my little boy when I go in to have my little girl.
Anyone else have this? How did you deal with it?

I've actually tears now thinking about it. I cried for no reason the other day in town because hubby said he'll bring jack to pick me and baby up from hospital.

January

Didn't deal with it... just had to happen... I remember seeing her when I got back from hospital (I had been in for 5 days) and she was so much bigger than when I had left her. I had a good old sob when I saw her again (visiting restrictions in hospital so she couldn't come in). She was 14 months.

Suucee

Synyster Shadow wrote: »

I've 2 weeks left and the closer it gets the more I feel anxious about leaving my little boy when I go in to have my little girl.
Anyone else have this? How did you deal with it?

I've actually tears now thinking about it. I cried for no reason the other day in town because hubby said he'll bring jack to pick me and baby up from hospital.

yep serious mammy guilt. OH brought her in to see me and that was grand but i cried when they left.
Also since ive come home she has been a little bit distant from me. So just trying to spend more 1 on 1 time with her while i have her daddy off work. She is a real daddys girl anyway but it brakes my heart everytime she looks for him instread of me.
My daughter is 23 months so knows i went away for a few days and came back with a new baby.
Maybe your wee man will take to it better being younger.

monflat

January wrote: »

Didn't deal with it... just had to happen... I remember seeing her when I got back from hospital (I had been in for 5 days) and she was so much bigger than when I had left her. I had a good old sob when I saw her again (visiting restrictions in hospital so she couldn't come in). She was 14 months.

Il be a 3rd time mammy this year so i know how you feel.
It will all work out its an emotional time and your "little one " will no longer be the little one.

Think about it in a good way you all will be a bigger family & happy for new arrival.

I agree with january
U will see that the oldest child is a pure giant beside the baby.
Its only lovely when they meet for the first time !
I have it all on video my oldest girl was afraid of her baby sister.

I thought id have major problems. !! Its only now when youngest is 20 months n she is takin all of older sisters toys are they rowing !!

Dont worry it will all work out

Suucee

January wrote: »

. I remember seeing her when I got back from hospital (I had been in for 5 days) and she was so much bigger than when I had left her.

Yep deffinetly experiencing this. The size of her and the weight of her. And i didnt even go a day without seeing her. I think i just got used to a small baba again.

December2012

I was very stressed about this at the end as I knew id be having a section and would be in for 5 days.

I got my first to kiss my tummy, I told her what would happen, when she would see me and how much the new baby is looking forward to having her as a big sister (had one of those Big Sister to shirts for her and a present from the baby).

We did videos and pictures of our last few days waiting for baby to be born.

When she saw us she was amazing - it couldn't have gone better!

And when I couldn't pick her up I said that it was because of my operation / mt back - basically I never blamed the new baby.

Enjoy!

pwurple

Massive mammy guilt, especially as I had to take her out of creche and get her an antibiotic the day I was being induced.

There were visiting restrictions so she couldn't come into the hospital. I asked to be let out in 24hrs. There was wifi in the hospital, so we skyped after new baby was born! She enjoyed her sleepover with granny, they made a big fuss of her with biscuits and milk at bedtime, and a hot water bottle in her bed... They made a welcome home card for me and went shopping for a present for the new baby the next day. Bought a little hat for the baby to wear. She was delighted when we came home and we made a big deal out of the baby wearing the new hat.

Synyster Shadow

I'm glad that its normal. Think been he's young I still don't like leaving him. Other thing is if I go into labour in middle of the night I don't want to have to take him out of bed and drag him out in the cold to my dads. He loves his bed routine gets annoyed when disrupted

I know it will be fine and I'll be out within 24 hours same as first time once its natural delivery. I'll nag them until I can go, once baby is fine and checked over

Still don't feel any better though..!

How Strange

Oh yes I felt terrible at the thoughts of leaving him so much so I insisted I was coming home as soon as possible. Ironically I got a bed on a lovely small ward but I just wanted to get home.

I'll never forget his little fretful face when he came home from crèche and saw us all there. You could just see he was worrying how he fit in to this new arrangement. He totally lost it when I picked the baby up. 11 month on and he adores her. Thankfully!

My mam wanted to take him for a couple of nights but I didn't want to send him. I was so worried that he'd think we didn't want him anymore.

Moonbeam

I was heartbroken I missed her so much but unless there are issues you just need to survive 1 night in there.

December2012

Synyster Shadow wrote: »

I'm glad that its normal. Think been he's young I still don't like leaving him. Other thing is if I go into labour in middle of the night I don't want to have to take him out of bed and drag him out in the cold to my dads. He loves his bed routine gets annoyed when disrupted

I know it will be fine and I'll be out within 24 hours same as first time once its natural delivery. I'll nag them until I can go, once baby is fine and checked over

Still don't feel any better though..!

The better thing to do then would be to get your dad to come to you instead - leave the baby sleep. Your dad will be up anyway if you're dropping the kid off. This way there'll only be one of them awake. They can always go to your dads in the morning.

Rosy Posy

If it bothers you that much you could consider having your baby at home? So nice to get into your own bed after and have the kids meet their new sibling straight away. My parents were on hand to mind them then gave the oh an hour to clear up before they came in.

Alternatively you could get them all excited about having a sleep over with grandparents. If you have baby in the night there's no reason they can't visit the next day, or indeed if there are no complications just discharge yourself and go home? Are you eligible for the domino scheme?

Synyster Shadow

My Dad won't come to mine as I've two younger sisters under the age of 8. It's always been that he has to go there to them. He's only turning 1 next week so he won't understand any of what's happening its me that can't bare it.
As for home birth they wouldn't allow it as first time round I'd to be knocked out just after giving birth to have placenta removed

Hoping that happens itself this time

Suucee

Synyster Shadow wrote: »

My Dad won't come to mine as I've two younger sisters under the age of 8. It's always been that he has to go there to them. He's only turning 1 next week so he won't understand any of what's happening its me that can't bare it.
As for home birth they wouldn't allow it as first time round I'd to be knocked out just after giving birth to have placenta removed

Hoping that happens itself this time

im sure he will be grand. We had to get our daughter up . It wasnt during the night 10 pm but she had been in bed. It didnt bother her and she went back to bed no problem in her nannys. She had a great time at her sleep over as her cousins were there to play the next day. Im sure you lil man will enjoy being around his aunts and have a ball anyway.
I do think its harder on us than them. And once all goes well you will be out in no time. I had Luke early hours sunday morning and was home by 1pm monday.

Actually while on the subject of second time mammies. How did u keep a constant eye on your toddler. My daughter is 23 months so totally unrtrustworthy.
OH at home for a week but what im worried about is when he goes back to work and i need to do ordinary things in the house.
Like this morning i had baba in bouncer in kitchen while tidying up. OH was outside sorting the dogs and toddler was pottering around playing . I needed to go to the loo but was terrified of leaving . So got OH to come in. The only other thing would have been to bring newborn with me. Thata fine when he is in the bouncer but not so easy if snoozing in the pram.
So what do i do.

Synyster Shadow

I'd leave the baby sleeping and get toddler to come with me to the loo or there room. You'll hear if baby wakes. I have that problem with just the one he's not fully walking and I'd to bring him with me to the loo and hold him the whole time. If he's in a mood ya can't leave him in play pen for a second if you leave the room. I've a sling ordered should be here Monday as I'll need it to be able run after Jack.

highly1111

It is hard and you will miss him but think about it this way - this is the only 1-1 time you're going to get the baby - so enjoy the baby and all the cuddles and snuggles and loves that come with it before you come out of hospital and home to 2 where your attention will be split. Plus, if your babies are anything like mine - the oldest will demand the most attention and then the mummy guilt will kick in that you're not giving the baby enough attention!!

My husband brought my son to the zoo when my 2nd child was born and they bought a little soft toy for the baby and then when I had my 3rd (we were literally in the middle of moving house) my sister in law helped out and they were having such fun with their cousins they didn't miss me at all.

but just enjoy the having the baby to yourself without the other demands of home - even for the night or two.

good luck by the way (SSOOOO much easier the 2nd time!!)

Suucee

Synyster Shadow wrote: »

I'd leave the baby sleeping and get toddler to come with me to the loo or there room. You'll hear if baby wakes. I have that problem with just the one he's not fully walking and I'd to bring him with me to the loo and hold him the whole time. If he's in a mood ya can't leave him in play pen for a second if you leave the room. I've a sling ordered should be here Monday as I'll need it to be able run after Jack.

Ah yes that makes more sence. Ha still have baby brain.

Synyster Shadow

I think once you get pregnant the first time you always have a case of baby brain. My mother insists having a girl makes you worse that you loose brain cells. She just loves blaming me for her silliness.

From when I found out I was pregnant this time I started working the small things like this out as I knew I'd end up stupid by the end lol.
I love my one on one cuddles before bed with DS I know it will be nice to have that with DD but I love bedtime routine that we have
Suppose best get used to change. I know I'll get one on one every evening with my daughter as DS goes to bed every night at 7 I'm more afraid of not having any with my son.