Do you think I am being harsh?

happyviolet

There is this international student in my class who I get along with, but lately he has been annoying me. He constantly needs help with a lot of work, and not just little bits here and there, its helping him to the point where I actually get a headache form the stress of showing him so much work.

He would message me about deadlines and and when it needs to be uploaded, even though info is all on moodle. He also emails me his work and asks me to upload it to his moodle, even though I never understood why he did that, since he obviously has access to a computer to email me at least. He also excuses like how to leaves homework late because he has no time but he is a few mins away from the college library that is opened till late evening and he has a room to himself so he has no roomate distraction.

The other day I nearly killed myself trying to help him with work, because we were in a group together and he did not do any work whatsoever. I was afraid we would all fail if he did not hand his work in.

What gets to me about all this is that he does not come across as
grateful for the people who help him out, its like as if he is used to it, like he expects people to help him with his work.

I mean obviously everyone needs help now and again, but it is constant with him, to the point where you would nearly neglact your own work in class for him.

Final straw for me was when he messaged me and ask me if I was free to do his 1500 word essay for him.... after that I had enough. I told him I was not available or my email was down if he asked me again to upload his work, I ignore any messages asking about work.
The only ones I reply to is his new group work messages because we are doing groupwork again, and he has nothing done. I bascially got annoyed with him and told him if he doest start working, we will all fail as a group.

Do you think I am being a hard b**ch over this, or am I right to do this? Its just that I have enough to do myself, without picking up his slack, and feeling underappreaciated.

Tokyo

He asked if you were free to do his 1500 word essay for him?!

If anything I think you've been a walkover through all this, and chances are this person knows it too and will continue to take advantage of it as long as you let them. It's long overdue, but you need to tell him politely but firmly that you're not available to do his work for him - your responsibility is to do your own work and for him to do his. End of story. He's going to baulk at it, I can guarantee you, but just walk away and concentrate on getting your own work done.

Regarding the group work, if he's not pulling his weight and expecting you guys to carry him through, have a chat with the teacher/lecturer, and explain the situation, including your worries about failing as a group because of him. If there's one thing they've seen before it's lazy students, and they will deal with it accordingly. It's not your responsibility to carry him through school.

Tramps Like Us

What country is he from and are you a woman? The answer might go someway to explaining his abuse of your kind nature.

My advice would be to tell him to fcuk off and tell your lecturer that he is not pulling his weight in the group. Your college should have people specially employed to help international students, either way its not your responsibility. I mean giving a friend a bit of help is normal but this is way above and beyond

Merkin

happyviolet wrote: »

Do you think I am being a hard b**ch over this, or am I right to do this?.

On the contrary, I think you've been a total pushover and I'm amazed you let it get to this. Tell him in no uncertain terms to fcuk off and not to ever think about taking advantage again.

happyviolet

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

What country is he from and are you a woman? The answer might go someway to explaining his abuse of your kind nature.

My advice would be to tell him to fcuk off and tell your lecturer that he is not pulling his weight in the group. Your college should have people specially employed to help international students, either way its not your responsibility. I mean giving a friend a bit of help is normal but this is way above and beyond

Without giving to much away he is from one of the countries in South Asia, and yes I am a woman. That's why I brought it up, culture differences or language barriers could have something to do with this.

crumlin j

Ask him 2 things
1.Does he know where the spire on O Connell street is
2.can he go hang his bollox out of it

Zed Bank

Maybe he fancies you OP? Just a thought, maybe he thinks this is the only way he can get your attention?

Tokyo

hi crumlin j...

we seem to have had our share of run-ins over the past few days, and sadly, your posting attitude hasn't changed. One of the basic tenets of the PI/RI forums is to only post in a mature and constructive manner towards the OP as per the forum charter, and clearly you are in violation of it.

Consider yourself infracted for this post - the next breach of our charter will result in a ban - something I would prefer not to have to do if at all possible.

Regards,
Mike

Penn

You need to stop helping him with individual projects. Completely.

As for the group project, depending on what type of project it is can you also submit a page detailing which sections were done by each person and which were done as a group. I was in a similar situation years ago where two of our five member group weren't pulling their weight, so we built into the contents page who was responsible for each section. We also said to the lecturer that even though it was a group project, we felt the need to highlight that some weren't pulling their weight. The lecturer said they'd take it into consideration.

You've enough work of your own to be doing and should be enjoying any spare time you can get. You shouldn't be spending time on this guy. Cut him off.

Pawwed Rig

I had people like this when I was in college too. You have to just cut them off and stop getting their qualification for them. I had one girl (who I considered a friend) ask me to e-mail her an assignment I did with a separate group which included a very complicated tax calculation. Her group had done nothing and essentially wanted to copy our work on deadline day and submit it as there own. Needless to say I refused. There was alot of drama and tears but it cheapens my qualification when people cheat like that to gain marks (it was 30% of our final year mark). Some people do not see anything wrong with blagging their way through life and it is not just limited to South Asians as some posters here seem to think.

maireadH

Your lecturer can do something about it if you contact them in plenty of time before the deadline. You should communicate with the student via e-mail regarding the work they are meant to do so that you can show the lecturer that you have made efforts to get him to deliver.