heartbroken and unable to get out and about

onlyme!!!

I think i just need a place to vent, im 40 years of age, a very young one at that, I was seeing someone for 6 months I know its not long but feel madly in love and everything was going great, until he just stopped contacting me for no reason, he is just a coward, the problem not is that as well as trying to just get through each day, I feel I need to get out there and enjoy myself, only problem is, all my friends dont live near me and my family all have family and dont go out much anymore..

I need to get out to show him I have a life, and not only that its hard not having any single friends, how am I ever gonna meet anyone now, I deserve to meet someone nice and I deserve to have fun.. any ideas, I live in Louth and its impossible to find other people in the same situation, there are maybe loads like me, any ideas how I get meet simular ladies for friendship and to get out and about,??

Tokyo

onlyme!!! wrote: »

....everything was going great, until he just stopped contacting me for no reason, he is just a coward.

I know that you are hurting now, but take solace in the fact that at least you found out now that he was a coward, and not further down the line when you were more emotionally and financially invested in this person. He showed his true colours, and you know in your heart and soul that you are better off without him.

I feel I need to get out there and enjoy myself, only problem is, all my friends dont live near me and my family all have family and dont go out much anymore..

I'm a firm believer in focusing on yourself after a relationship ends, rather than looking fro opportunities to meet somebody new. And I know that it's almost becoming a stock response for me, but have you looked into what activities are going on in your local area? Be it a gym, or a keep fit class or a dance class, it's a great way to get out of the house and better yourself, while not focusing on the guy that you broke up with. It's also a great way to meet new people - male and female - in somewhat neutral territory and forming friendships from there.

onlyme!!!

Yeah thanks for that, I know where you are coming from, I am in a gym and have family members who I go with, but have nobody to go out at night with, Im a single mother and feel the need to get dressed up and head out, hoping it it help the dejection I feel right now

onlyme!!!

Thanks Mike , I know you are right, but can stop think there has to be a rational explanation as to why he just stopped contact, we were fine, I just dont understand why and feel I cant draw a line under it..

Tokyo

I think a lot of us have been at that point where things didn't pan out the way we wanted them to, and end up beating ourselves up over what went wrong, and analysing each and every thing to try and find an answer, if for no other reason than to not let it happen again. However, it doesn't work like that sometimes unfortunately, and there's no rationalising the whys or the hows of the situation. Sometimes the answer is simply that the other person was a dick, simple as that. As tough as it is, the only way really through this is reminding yourself that it's a good thing you fond out now rather than later, and that you are worth more than someone else's half-assed attentions. Sometimes that's where "drawing a line under it" ends.

Can't really help you with the night out, other than if you have sisters or friends, even if they are busy, now is the time to call on them and let them know what's happened. A good friend will let you bend their ear for a while - a very good friend might head out on the town with you. But as I said, in the bigger picture scheme of things, invest the time in yourself and finding other activities to occupy your time - the friendships will follow on from that.

onlyme!!!

Mike you are very wise, thanks for your words sometimes it nice to hear it from someone who doesn't know you, hit home more I think, thanks...

tina4t

Hi Onlyme! i know exactly where your coming from, i was seeing a guy for abt 6mts and he suddenly stopped contact without any explanation, i texted him several times but no response. I only can assume that he didn't like something i said cos everything else appeared to be great,.. Best of luck

onlyme!!!

Tina, I dont think we said anything wrong, i think they just cant handle a relationship or maybe want to b single and are too cowardly to end it, even though no problems whatsoever, its weird eh? how long ago was it? how r u getting through, its torture not knowing, i dont want to b a stalker ex but would love to bump into him to have it our, but wont lower myself...

tina4t

Hi Onlyme! it's just been a year, took me a while to get over it but i'm grand now thankfully.. I doubt i would like to bump into him again.

onlyme!!!

Ah glad your ok, i hsve a way to go yet and can bump into him any day as we live and work in the same street im not ready see him just yet..

kbell

Hi only me, try the Louth forum for meet ups, I see your other thread was closed, you'll have better luck on there .

http://touch.boards.ie/forum/945

LegacyUser

onlyme!!! wrote: »

Yeah thanks for that, I know where you are coming from, I am in a gym and have family members who I go with, but have nobody to go out at night with, Im a single mother and feel the need to get dressed up and head out, hoping it it help the dejection I feel right now

im the same, no family here, all my friends have settled down and Im a lone parent (male) to my daughter. I am 36 and havent been outside in 6 years now on a night out

My only social time is down at the gym

I have resigned myself to being single for good now

Penny Tration

Hey, onlyme and im the saem.

I can't lie and pretend I understand where ye are coming from. But if you want to get out and about more, try www.meetup.com

You can find meet ups that suit you, all over the country. Might be a way to make new friends. New friends open the doors to getting out, meeting new people and maybe a significant other.

MugMugs

onlyme!!! wrote: »

I was seeing someone for 6 months I know its not long but feel madly in love and everything was going great,

It's not about the amount of time that you're with somebody, it's about the amount of switches that they flicked in your head while you were with them and how long it is going to take you to turn them back off again.

onlyme!!! wrote: »

I need to get out to show him I have a life

That's the wrong attitude. You need to get out to show yourself a good time. Not to prove any points to somebody who is clearly not worth your time.

green_screen wrote: »

I can't lie and pretend I understand where ye are coming from. But if you want to get out and about more, try www.meetup.com

Unfortunately, it's quite bare for Louth.

suicide_circus

onlyme!!! wrote: »

I think i just need a place to vent, im 40 years of age, a very young one at that, I was seeing someone for 6 months I know its not long but feel madly in love and everything was going great, until he just stopped contacting me for no reason, he is just a coward, the problem not is that as well as trying to just get through each day, I feel I need to get out there and enjoy myself, only problem is, all my friends dont live near me and my family all have family and dont go out much anymore..

I need to get out to show him I have a life, and not only that its hard not having any single friends, how am I ever gonna meet anyone now, I deserve to meet someone nice and I deserve to have fun.. any ideas, I live in Louth and its impossible to find other people in the same situation, there are maybe loads like me, any ideas how I get meet simular ladies for friendship and to get out and about,??

Sorry you're having a tough time. I think the word "deserve" is a dangerous one. The world does not owe you a nice man, this is something you have to make happen through your own actions and attitude. Best of luck.

onlyme!!!

Thanks everyone for the advice, i feel better already

MugMugs

onlyme!!! wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the advice, i feel better already

Positive mental attitude will bring positive results op. Louth has a lot of gems to it. Walking clubs exist of a Sunday morning in Jonesborough. Kayaking, sailing whatever you want. If you can get babysitters and get out and about and meet people. You never know who you'll meet and what lies in store for you!

You've got kids and you're healthy. That's ten times more than some people have