My baby in waiting

LegacyUser

This is a bit of an unusual one. I had about 2 years of fertility treatment & eventually after 3 IVF's had twins. Was over the moon of course. But the pregnancy & delivery was awful. I had severe Hyperemesis & spent 21 weeks in hospital. Wont go into it too much but it was the worst experience of my life & at points I wanted to die. The 2nd half of the pregnancy was fine, hard but fine. Then the delivery, I had an elective CS which went fine initially but I had a post partum hemmorhage straight after. I had 3 surgergies back to back that night to save my life, spent a week in intensive care & a very long recovery, physically & mentally.

If I had a choice I would never ever again get pregnant & take the chance of enduring any of that again. But we have one frozen embryo left. And herein lies my dilemma. I have agonised over this since my twins were born almost 3 years ago. I feel I have to go back for that baby. I am afraid I wont be able to live with myself if I don't. But I am terrified of it all happening again.

I don't expect to hear from anyone in this position as I have trawled the internet looking for someone in this position & I cant really find anyone. But I would love to hear any general opinions. Its hard to get an unbiased view as obviously my family & friends have my interests at heart. If this was someone close to you would you be worried for their safety or would you judge them for not trying to have the baby?

I'm aware this is my choice but would love an impartial view of my situation from the outside.

Pawwed Rig

I would rely on the best advice from your doctors rather than an internet forum. You nearly died during your last pregnancy!!
If your doctor thinks it is safe to go ahead then base your decision on that. If not then you have a responsibility to your little children to be there for them.

Congratulations by the way. IVF can be a very hard road for parents to travel.

macplato

Gosh, your story gave me goosebumps, OP. I can't relate to you, I imagine not many people could. But I do believe that the answer to your question is here in your post:

anonforthis wrote: »

I feel I have to go back for that baby. I am afraid I wont be able to live with myself if I don't.

Some people might tell you, you should be rational about this. But having lived through many tragedies and a serious illness myself, I know that the only way to live happily and fully, is by following your feelings and intuition. It seems to me that you know what you need to do.

Gatling

My sister went through similar with her last pregnancy and delivery ,all because her boyfriend wanted a son ,
She got pregnant and ended up with several stays in hospital until the labor where she hemorrhaged severely to the point she was given her last rights pre life saving emergency surgery ,
Thankfully she survived but her surgeon warned her that another pregnancy would kill no doubt about it ,

My opinion of your situation is you have a happy and healthy family and a partner /husband ,
I personally wouldn't allow my partner to go through such a big risk where the out come could well be fatal to you and your unborn child ,

I know a lot of blokes wont understand the itch /the goo/maternal calling ,but you have a young family think about first and foremost ,

I want to grow old with my partner and mother of my two wonderful kids and I personally would never forgive myself if anything happens to her due to having more kids

greengirl31

I'm not an expert and I can't say I know how you feel but if I were in your shoes my first port of call would be the medics ie - GP fertility consultant and gynaecologist. What have they said ?? Did they say the difficulties you experienced were because of any condition you have or was it just a difficult pregnancy ?? Also, were there any long term effects of your last pregnancy & delivery ??
I'd imagine carrying twins is more difficult than carrying just one but again, this will depend on your medical history. As well as all that, every pregnancy is different ... your last one was traumatic but that does not necessarily mean that another one will be nearly as bad ?
What does your husband say ??
And do you actually want another child ?? I know that might be a tricky one given how fearful you are but it's something you should try to consider. Try not to let guilt guide you
I wish you all the best in you decision
A

Tokyo

HI OP,

I'm afraid that I have to agree with the other posters in this thread - considering the medical nature of your question, not to mention the complications of your previous pregnancy, this is a conversation best had with your fertility specialist and gynecologist. Please understand that this is for your own safety, as only an expert in this can truly tell you the risks involved in such a choice, and help you weigh up the pros and cons of your decision.

Thread closed. That said however, congratulations on the success of your IVF treatment thus far