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Am I ready to date again?

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  • 30-03-2014 2:49am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Im a 24 year old woman out of a relationship with a manipulative man since this time last year. The break up was dragged out as he played with my head and made me feel guilty about ending it, making me feel really guilty about it all. I eventually cut contact completely and saw a cousellor for my self esteem issues. Im finally at a place now where im beginning to love myself and see how much I have going for me. One thing thats holding me back is that im currently a bit overweight. Im starting to lose it now but I would be very self conscious about myself. Recently Ive had a couple of guys make suggestions about going for drinks. I havnt really said yes or no as in a way part of me wants to lose the weight before I start dating again.
    The other part of me is afraid that the weight is just an excuse to avoid getting into a relationship and getting hurt again, as I know plenty of men arent put off by a bit of weight.
    Is it better to just focus on building my own confidence and losing the weight first?


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    #2
    missjm
    Registered Users Posts: 268 ✭✭missjm


    I think if you have to think about it and come here asking whether you should or not indicates it's too soon. Why don't you spend time with yourself until you're comfortable with who you are (weight or no weight). A year is a very short time and if it was dragged out it's probably even less.
    You don't HAVE to be in a relationship. Not being in one is very liberating especially if you've been in a controlling relationship. I say this from experience.


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    #3
    beks101
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    You've got your whole life to date and to try out new relationships. Whereas your relationship with yourself, to follow the old cliche, is the most important one of all.

    Prioritize that, as it will dictate what kind of men you let back into your life and heart and in turn, what kind of life you build for yourself. The last thing you need is to fall for another guy like your ex, it could set you back years again.

    My advice would be to focus on yourself and getting as comfortable and as confident as possible in your own skin. Everything else will follow on from that in time.


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