Would you consider this abuse?

chinacup

Forcing a child to eat their own vomit when they got sick eating their dinner? This happened almost 20 years ago so by that times standards. Would it be enough to cause a personality disorder later in life? Or is it a completely understandable thing for a stressed parent to do? I should note it was a single father who did this to his daughter as she used to be very picky about eating.

Reason I'm asking is a close friend is currently going through some struggles with what psychiatrists have labelled "emotionally unstable personality disorder" and she mentioned this to me recently as if it was nothing and it seemed like it wasn't normal to me!

I don't have kids and don't know what its like to be a single parent so its hard to judge objectively, but what do other people on here think? Is it worth her mentioning this to her psychiatrists as I know she hasn't.

ABajaninCork

You don't have to have kids to know that forcing a child to eat their own vomit is abuse.

Abuse - plain and simple.

macplato

Gosh, by any standards this was cruel, violent and yes, abusive treatment of this poor child. Nobody here can comment on the link between this experience and diagnosed personality disorder, but there is no doubt that if the father was able to force his daughter to eat her vomit, he mistreated her in other ways as well, and this must have had a major impact on her emotional well-being. The poor girl

Neyite

Without a doubt, physical abuse.

And evil and sadistic too. Vomit is not nutritious so the only reason for forcing someone to eat it is punishment and an abuse of power. If I heard of a child being forced in that way, I'd be calling social services right away.

I'd be surprised if this kind of incident didnt result in long term effects on the person. It must have been highly traumatic. She should mention it to her counsellors, it could be very relevant but she may think it was a normal occurance if it happened to her a lot or she was used to other forms of abuse from her father.

jane82

To have the type of control over a child that you could force them to eat vomit even though they are full shows not only a once off abuse but prolonged abuse.
The man may have been stressed out but its not like a once off smack its going way too far.
I would however not go accuseing him of anything. For all you know it never happened.

chinacup

But here's the thing, she said he wasn't abusive in other ways and having met him I'd have to agree. If anything she's been abusive towards him later in life, even as far as being arrested for threatening him with a knife! They have a dysfunctional relationship for sure but it doesn't seem like he has any power over her at all quite the opposite.

I think he gave her a slap every now and then but he definitely doesn't strike me as a sadistic person, maybe slightly depressed and lacking in confidence. But as an incident on its own people seem to strongly believe this is abusive so I wonder how serious it is.

Neyite

arf91 wrote: »

But here's the thing, she said he wasn't abusive in other ways and having met him I'd have to agree. If anything she's been abusive towards him later in life, even as far as being arrested for threatening him with a knife! They have a dysfunctional relationship for sure but it doesn't seem like he has any power over her at all quite the opposite.

I think he gave her a slap every now and then but he definitely doesn't strike me as a sadistic person, maybe slightly depressed and lacking in confidence. But as an incident on its own people seem to strongly believe this is abusive so I wonder how serious it is.

As an outsider you can never know what truly goes on in a home. Nor can you assume that because someone appears meek and quiet to other adults that they were incapable of inflicting cruelty on a much smaller human being dependant on them.

And as for your observation that she is now the violent one and holder of power in the relationship, well, I wonder where she learned that behaviour, eh?

I can assure you that forcing a minor to eat vomit is a serious issue. If you dont believe me, see what Social Services or the Gardai would have to say about it. You seem very dismissive that there was anything wrong with what he did. Which is a bit disturbing.

Czarcasm

OP in what world do you think forcing a child to ingest their own vomit wouldn't be abuse? Of course it would cause issues with a person in later life, and just because her father has mellowed out and forgotten about it, doesn't mean she ever will.

Now what she tells her counsellor is completely up to her, it's not your place to get involved, but if she is threatening violence against another person and you're aware of it, you can contact the Gardai, and that's all you can do.

OP this isn't a general discussion forum and in any case I think the answer here is fairly unanimous
All the best