Discovering you have an adopted brother?

stpaddy99

after 35 years how do you deal with that?

The_Kew_Tour

Not sure im not even 35 yet you see.

endacl

At 35 years old, or 35 years after finding out?

PCX

stpaddy99 wrote: »

after 35 years how do you deal with that?

You carry on exactly the same as before you found out.

gerrybbadd

Would it be easier handle after 36 years?

January

My partner discovered he had a biological sister (who was also adopted, he was adopted too) and 3 half sisters and a half brother when he was 30. Was a pretty big bomb shell but he's in contact with most of them now (not the full biological sister) and his bio father.

It took a while to get used to because he was an only child up until then but he gets along great with them.

Is your brother one of your own parents children or were you adopted too?

endacl

gerrybbadd wrote: »

Would it be easier handle after 36 years?

At 36 years old, or 36 years after finding out?

Sir Arthur Daley

Be friends with him on Facebook for starters.

lertsnim

stpaddy99 wrote: »

after 35 years how do you deal with that?

Carry on with your life.

razorblunt

I'd say, holy Fock, you're not getting anymore presents ... Let's grab a pint.
By the way you're still going halfsies on the old folks funeral costs.

eviltwin

Depends. Did he contact you? Did a family member tell you and he's still out there whereabouts unknown? What do your parents say?

squirrelohara

eviltwin wrote: »

Depends. Did he contact you? Did a family member tell you and he's still out there whereabouts unknown? What do your parents say?

I'm pretty sure they grew up together!!

TheBegotten

I don't really see how it's a huge deal - I mean sure, it's a shock and all after all these years but he's still your brother. Imagine how he must be feeling?

eviltwin

squirrelohara wrote: »

I'm pretty sure they grew up together!!

I took it he meant a brother adopted by another family, either way its gotta be a mind ****.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Do you mean a natural brother who was adopted or a brother with you who was adopted in to your family? Huge difference but both adopted brothers.

corner of hells

eviltwin wrote: »

Depends. Did he contact you? Did a family member tell you and he's still out there whereabouts unknown? What do your parents say?

Very apt name , sir , for this thread.

Smiles35

I'm an only-child, he'd have to be me Da. Imagine that

Gillo

Smell Badda wrote: »

I'm an only-child, he'd have to be me Da. Imagine that

Ask him to go halves with you for Father's Day.

Realistically, it wouldn't bother me, you still grew up together shared your childhoods etc, he's your bro.
Although could be awkward if you of you needs a kidney!

squirrelohara

Smell Badda wrote: »

I'm an only-child, he'd have to be me Da. Imagine that

So he's your father and your brother? What's going on here?

Smiles35

squirrelohara wrote: »

So he's your father and your brother? What's going on here?

I'd call the police. Would you?

weemcd

Brother 1: So eh, what's the craic?
Brother 2: fuuuck alll bai

go for a pint. sorted

matchthis

I'd start of with "you can trust me" I'd then make up some very far out stuff about our family, but slightly plauseable. Something like, inventing handles for mugs or the cardboard rolls that make up the core of the jacks roll.
Then i'd finish off with, i had a sex change when i was 18

Capt'n Midnight

Look at what happened to Herb Powell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hvn9k8dnhjI

Must be pretty traumatic. I'd be wondering about their life and about whether or not we'd get on, if we would have been close as kids if we'd had the chance to find out. I'm pretty sure I'd feel I missed out and that I deserved to know. I'd say I'd feel pretty conflicted about not knowing until now.

I hope you get along well, if you meet your brother that is OP. I hope you get to make up for lost time and that this eventually feels like good news and not confusing news.

There is an adoption forum where others might be able to talk from a place of knowlege OP.

Legs.Eleven

I've got 4 siblings already so I wouldn't even notice if another one sneaked in tbh.

CarrickMcJoe

Take him to see Blood Brothers..

anncoates

I'd like it.

I only have sisters and always wanted a brother.

Cee-Jay-Cee

Oh no...you'll have to share your bedroom with him and get your baths together and your going to be compared to him in everything you do. It's gonna be horrible, just horrible!!.

Stavros Murphy

stpaddy99 wrote: »

after 35 years how do you deal with that?

I guess you'll have to adopt a new way of relating.

nocoverart

I can relate OP, when I was about Twelve or so I found out I have a half sister from my mothers previous relationship (somewhat different) to your situation, but still dramatic nonetheless. Nothing compared to the dramas of my life now though : (

Sunglasses Ron

"She did things your mother would NEVER do, like have sex for money!"

Wabbit Ears

I had this happen. Found out when in my late 20's that My mother had a kid when she was a teen which she was made put up for adoption. TBH it means nothing to me. Hes at least 15 years older then me, lives in another country and , basically, We arent family but by the most tenuous link.

stpaddy99

ok ill come clean its an adopted sister...ive not met her yet and shes in her 50s.....I really am in a state of shock over this and don't knoe how to react.....I have brothers and a sister already and they don't yet know about the specifics. the sister was given up for adoption I think when she was born....but I don't know much more yet. scared to rock the boat tbh

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Just embrace it and her. What a wonder opportunity to meet your sister. She is the one who is scared I suspect.

Scotty P

Have sex with him and then go on This Morning with your shrink and tell Holly Willyboobies.