Leaving cert poetry essays - help

cam123

i have been reading a lot of posts saying people should do 4 poets and that the essays should be about 1000 words long. i have written this Plath essay and its over 1000 words but i only cover three poems. can people please give me some honest opinions or tips about writing poetry essays? (you can be brutal) thanks so much! oh and i'm in fifth year.

What impact did Sylvia Plath make on you as a reader? Your answer should deal with the following?
(a) Your overall sense of the poem
(b) The poets use of imagery/language

Without a doubt, reading Sylvia Plath’s poetry has left a great impact on me. Her poems are like nothing I have ever read or seen before. They are depressing and troubled with twisted moments of light. They expose her soul and can very often shock the reader by her dark thoughts. The poems I will discuss in detail are ‘Mirror’, ‘The Arrival of the Bee Box’ and ‘Child’. They all impacted me differently. This ranges from unease to realizations to worried hope.

Firstly I am going to discuss ‘The Arrival of the Bee Box’. This is an unusual poem, which has some dark and disturbing imagery as well as lighter moments. This poem had a strange impact on me. I felt unease as I read it, one that I have never felt before. The poem is on surface simply about a bee box but clearly it has a deeper meaning. On a deeper level, the bee box can be seen as Plath’s depression and unhappy thoughts. Plath suffered from depression for many years and often translates her emotions across in her poetry. Throughout the poem, I could feel Plath’s desire to be free, to have control. Unfortunately, she is obviously struggling with dark thoughts and is finding it difficult to escape. Plath uses imagery such as ‘coffin of a midget’ to describe the wooden box. This depressing and grim language leaves a disturbing and unnerving impact. Plath compares the bees in the box to a ‘Roman mob’. This gives an aggressive and violent aspect to the box. It adds to the uneasy feeling the poem creates. One of the lines, which impacted me the most, was how Plath described the noise of the bees as ‘unintelligible syllables’. This proves that not even Plath herself understands her thoughts. It shows her frustration and how overpowering depression can be. It made me feel heavy and weighed down. I sympathized with Plath. The poem however does begin to end on a slightly more positive note. In the last few stanzas, Plath wonders if she could escape. Though her hope is small and full of ‘what ifs’, it is alive. Plath seems to take control of her terrible situation. She says ‘Tomorrow I will be sweet God, I will set them free.’ This shows the power Plath believes she may someday have the strength to have. In letting the ‘bees’ go, she is also freeing herself. The final line ‘The box is only temporary’ is my favorite. It feels like Plath is reassuring herself and inspiring hope. It made a big impact on me. I feel like it turned the poem upside down. It brought it from a place of despair to one of hope. That though today may be bleak, there is always the promise of a brighter future. It has a quiet strength to it.

The poem of Plath, which I found most relatable, was ‘Mirror’. As a teenager especially, insecurities over looks and aging is a huge problem. The poem gives a harsh, factual and cold feel. Plath uses personification, as the poems narrator is the mirror itself. The mirror describes itself as being ‘cold and exact’ and having ‘no preconceptions’. This gives the mirror a robotic feel. It also shows that the mirror bases everything it reflects on what it sees. There are no lies. The biggest impact this poem had on me was it made me realize the truth about mirrors. Mirrors are ‘not cruel, only truthful’. They exaggerate or belittle nothing. When people complain about hating mirrors, ultimately they hate what it shows. The truth. Themselves. This poem impacted me as it made me realize there is no point wasting life and always worrying about what you see in the mirror. This attitude is unlike the girl in the poem. Plath writes ‘she awards me with tears and an agitation of hands.’ This is very distressing imagery. My heart reaches out for this troubled girl. She is clearly anxious and insecure. Unfortunately though, she seems addicted to this sadness. The mirror says ‘I am important to here’, she comes back everyday and tortures herself. This anxious behavior has an upsetting impact. My favorite use of imagery in this poem was the in the final line where Plath uses the simile ‘like a terrible fish.’ This is what the young girl has seen herself become. A woman as ugly as a fish. It’s heartbreaking to watch this girl waste her life, fearing the future, unable to hold onto the slippery past. It’s a very powerful poem and I really enjoyed it.

Lastly I will discuss the impact the poem ‘Child’ had on me. This poem impacted me as it made me feel true pity for Plath. She clearly loves her child more than anything else but also has an inner conflict of feeling like she does not deserve it.
Child is a poem about a mothers hopes and love for her child. The poem begins with a bright, affectionate and loving tone. The mother says she wants to bring ‘colour and ducks’ into her child’s life. This light and optimistic language gives a gentle tone to the poem. At the same time though she is merely speaking of intentions and actions she would like to do. She makes no mentions of definite plans or possibilities. The poem takes a clear change of attitude in the final stanza. The mother no longer talks about what grand things she would like for her child but instead focuses on the dark reality. Plath writes ‘troublous wringing of hands’. This imagery is very effective for conveying the anxious feeling held by Plath. It suggests unease and uncertainty. The speaker is evidently nervous and conflicted. She wants so much for her child but is too trapped inside her mind to give it. Instead her child is left with a ‘dark ceiling without a star.’ This is imagery completely devoid of hope. There is no source of light, only darkness. The poem leaves you with an empty feeling caused by the limitations life can have. There is no silver lining, no reassuring final couplet. Instead, we are left with nothingness, devoid of hope.

In conclusion, it is clear that Plath has made a very large impact with her work. Her use of unusual and dark imagery is extremely effective. These can clearly be seen in the poems ‘Mirror’, ‘Child’, and ‘The Arrival Of The Bee Box’. Plath’s work certainly makes you reflect on different aspects of life and truly give you an insight into her inner troubles.

d1234

Overall this is a very good piece of work and you should be proud of it. I'm in fifth year and realise how difficult writing poetry responses can be!

Just a few little pointers:
- Firstly, I would agree with giving reference to at least four poems. You can also make a comparison between another poem by Plath if you wish i.e. I personally found that Plath was rather

---

in the poem '

---

' whereas this poem is different in the respect that Plath has branched away from this emotion/feeling etc.
- In regards to structure, your answer has a clear lay out. I would suggest doing perhaps a longer introduction as this is key as well as a longer ending in my opinion. In your opening, you could give reference to the overall theme/language/techniques that she uses in general i.e. a broad view of her collection and style. Usually when I'm writing, I write roughly two thirds of a page for an introduction. This gives a great impression to the examiner. Similarly, for the ending I would write a half a page and give details of how I found the poem. Then in the middle, I would have four three quarters of a page full answers and each would be based on one of her pieces.
- Well done - you answered the question that was asked which is very important!
- Perhaps try to bring your language up to another level - there are some great vocab lists online and I usually learn 1 new word each week that I find useful. Avoid words such as 'like' and 'big' as you may be penalised in the L section (language) of PCLM. Also, you cannot say 'it's' in these answers or "can't" "don't" as you must write cannot, do not etc. (I know - it is a pain!)

Best of luck and keep up the good writing!!

LoveLamps

Not gonna lie and say I read that, so can't comment on content really, after skimming it though here's a few points
- Certainly needs at least 4 poems, if not 5.
- Use more diverse and well frankly, more impressive vocab. You're only in 5th year though, just keep reading and when writing try think of what you're going to say and then think if there are any more exciting words you can replace what you've got with. Your vocab will build up over time so no immediate worry
- I see you include yourself in it a lot, 'I felt' etc, this is very good, keep it up and the conclusion should contain some form of personal opinion as well

Gryffindor

Again, this is not a poor answer but it could indeed do with a little work. I would agree with the other posters in that covering 4 poems would be best. If answering in a 'poem by poem' format, here is what my teacher suggests:
A total of 8 paragraphs, adding up to 1000-1200 words
PARAGRAPH 1: Firstly, spend time on forming a great introduction. Use a thesaurus/sample answers/online notes... to form a really impressive and memorably phrased intro.
PARAGRAPH 2/3: Start your first poem. It is a good idea to spend two paragraphs on this to make a strong initial impact on the examiner. Discuss in depth. Try to diversify your vocabulary and show you have a deeper understanding of the poem on a 'metaphysical level'. (they love that phrase)
PARAGRAPH 4: Discuss your second poem in one paragraph. This is the place to stick in one of her less complex poems (often ones that are also on the ordinary level syllabus), unless you can provide a more complex reflection on them.
Paragraph 5: Move on to your third poem. Again, be concise.
Paragraph 6/7: This is the most important part of the essay. Most students start strong but fade out towards the end. If you end on a high note, it will make you stand out. Regarding Plath, I would recommend taking on 'Elm' at the end. It is very challenging, but it will offer you the best opportunity to show you understand and appreciate her poetry on a more sophisticated level.
PARAGRAPH 8: Offer a conclusion. DON'T list what you just discussed, offer a personal insight.

I think a revision book such as Key Notes would help you. You can incorporate some of their more impressive phrases with your own opinions. I haven't written an answer on Plath so far this year but I have some A standard ones on Frost and a few Othellos I don't mind mailing you?
Good Luck!

robman60

@Gryffindor: Does metaphysical not refer to John Donne and other poets of his era, in reference to poetry? I'm not sure really. It's definitely a nice word if it's correct in that context so that's why I;d like to know!

spurious

Just watch some of the English you're using, it is an English exam after all.
Try find some synonyms for impacted on me/had an impact on me. It's very repetitive to use the same phrase.
Rethink some of the phrases and words below.
Is English your first language?


Without a doubt, reading Sylvia Plath’s poetry has left a great impact on me.

They all impacted me differently. This ranges from unease to realizations to worried hope.

I felt unease as I read it, one that I have never felt before.

The poem is on surface simply about a bee box but clearly it has a deeper meaning.

The poem of Plath, which I found most relatable, was ‘Mirror’.

This attitude is unlike the girl in the poem.

She makes no mentions of definite plans or possibilities.

Emlie

Hi. I haven't done Plath yet so I can't be much help..but if there's one thing my English teacher always tell us is to link the paragraphs. Always try refer back to the question if you can and a quick sentence like "this feature of the poet's style appears again in......"

I think you've made most of it really personal which is what they are always looking for. I think though the 3rd point could use a bit more use of "I." But other than that you show a v.good understanding of the poetic techniques.

You should aim for 4 poems, if you can. It can be difficult to cut down on the info especially when, if you're someone like me, you need to write more to get your point across. If you're handing up essays to the teacher, there's no reason you shouldn't try for 4 as usually you're given plenty of time to get the thing done. For an exam it will be different but all you can do there is examine the question carefully and pick out the best bits from each poem that really connect to the Q.
In saying all this exploring 3 poems in detail than dealing with 6/7 poems superficially will earn you higher marks.

- Just incase you haven't heard of it, there's this book called "English Extra" by Edmond Behan (CjFallon) and its quite good! It gives you the general guidelines on structuring a poetry answer - what to include, what not. They also give plenty more examples on how to link your paragraphs. The book also deals with the entire English course so it will help you in all areas, not just poetry.

cam123

Thanks for all the pointers. I really don't mind if people give me criticisms. My English teacher doesn't really push us very hard so its good to get some harsh truths

spurious

cam123 wrote: »

Thanks for all the pointers. I really don't mind if people give me criticisms. My English teacher doesn't really push us very hard so its good to get some harsh truths

It's a good answer. Posters here are pointing out what would get it up to a standard to achieve very high marks. If all your answers are that sort of quality I don't think you need to be worrying.

lilmissalice17

Gryffindor wrote: »

Again, this is not a poor answer but it could indeed do with a little work. I would agree with the other posters in that covering 4 poems would be best. If answering in a 'poem by poem' format, here is what my teacher suggests:
A total of 8 paragraphs, adding up to 1000-1200 words
PARAGRAPH 1: Firstly, spend time on forming a great introduction. Use a thesaurus/sample answers/online notes... to form a really impressive and memorably phrased intro.
PARAGRAPH 2/3: Start your first poem. It is a good idea to spend two paragraphs on this to make a strong initial impact on the examiner. Discuss in depth. Try to diversify your vocabulary and show you have a deeper understanding of the poem on a 'metaphysical level'. (they love that phrase)
PARAGRAPH 4: Discuss your second poem in one paragraph. This is the place to stick in one of her less complex poems (often ones that are also on the ordinary level syllabus), unless you can provide a more complex reflection on them.
Paragraph 5: Move on to your third poem. Again, be concise.
Paragraph 6/7: This is the most important part of the essay. Most students start strong but fade out towards the end. If you end on a high note, it will make you stand out. Regarding Plath, I would recommend taking on 'Elm' at the end. It is very challenging, but it will offer you the best opportunity to show you understand and appreciate her poetry on a more sophisticated level.
PARAGRAPH 8: Offer a conclusion. DON'T list what you just discussed, offer a personal insight.

I think a revision book such as Key Notes would help you. You can incorporate some of their more impressive phrases with your own opinions. I haven't written an answer on Plath so far this year but I have some A standard ones on Frost and a few Othellos I don't mind mailing you?
Good Luck!

Any chance you could email me essays on othello? :-)