GirlFriend wants to join Army - Not supporting her

Road to Perdition

Hi guys

Just looking for another perspective on this as I am struggling to come to terms with how to deal with/handle it.

We're together 2 years (23 and 29) and she's decided she wants to join the Irish Defence Forces, which obviously will mean her being away for the full 3/4 months training as well as being stationed in the barracks when her training is done, and all the other away time that a job of this nature involves.

I'm being realistic and saying that I honestly couldn't see the relationship working for me personally due to the amount of time apart there'd be, and I've told her this, but now I feel like crap as I don't think she's going to go through with it now and will resent me in the future for not supporting her with it.

Added to this the fact that her family have been encouraging her to do it and if she decides not to, it's me that they're going to hold it against.

Genuinely caught between a rock and a hard place here.

Cheers for any help

Gatling

Stop being so selfish and get behind and support your girlfriend ,
Its not exactly a walk in the park to get in ,
And if she does get in it can open big opportunities for her

Jenneke87

For me, personally, it would be very off putting for me if my partner couldn't/wouldn't support my career choice. I reckon your GF have been wanting to join the army for a long time(I doubt it's something you decide out of the blue) and if she doesn't join because of your lack of support, I could very well understand if she grew to resent you.

Is the time apart the only thing that's bothering you? Would you be able to visit her while she is training or stationed somewhere? Is she allowed to call/mail/write? Do you fear she might get attached to someone else while away from you?

Road to Perdition

Jenneke87 wrote: »

For me, personally, it would be very off putting for me if my partner couldn't/wouldn't support my career choice. I reckon your GF have been wanting to join the army for a long time(I doubt it's something you decide out of the blue) and if she doesn't join because of your lack of support, I could very well understand if she grew to resent you.

Is the time apart the only thing that's bothering you? Would you be able to visit her while she is training or stationed somewhere? Is she allowed to call/mail/write? Do you fear she might get attached to someone else while away from you?

It is out of the blue - she's prone to indecisiveness and since the start of the year has considered travelling/going back to college full time/joining the gardai/getting a 9-5 managerial posiition as well as this now.

The time apart is the big thing, plus we were supposed to be getting a place together next month before this popped up

Borderfox

Can't say I disagree with you

Obliq

It's a lifestyle choice though, isn't it? Joining the army isn't just a job. I have relatives in the army and their wives are equally at the beck and call of their postings and tours of duty (although few and far between) as they are. Weekends in barracks, 16 week training courses posted somewhere else....it's not easy to be in that kind of a relationship if you didn't sign up to it yourself.

Tokyo

Closed pending review.