Help

sarge marcus

My wife won't chat to me any more, after coming home from skiing last month but we had broken up in September we wher still sleeping with each Orther ,she kicked me out and went into court and got protection order against me on valentines day she called the guards on me the next weekend and I was arrested for the week end worse weekend ever, I still feel sick after it, I am not eating right and sleep well, she won't talk to me about the kids or anything I love her so much but she has a new fellow now and spends most of her time with him, it's killing me and our 2 year wedding anniversary is next Monday will I send her flowers ?

Penny Tration

She has a protection order, you would be absolutely crazy to send her flowers.

I presume if she has a protection order, you will be going to court soon to discuss barring orders? If so, speak to a solicitor asap, your concern here should be your children.

sarge marcus

Yes but the worse it gets the harder it will be to come back from, should I give up and everything nine years and a home I am still crazy about her and would forgive everything, I taught no matter what for better for worse for richer or poorer as long as we both should live.

Penny Tration

Ok, I'm going to sound blunt here, and I'm sorry but -

There is no coming back from it. She got a protection order. She called the police. She has a new partner.

Did you actually do anything to warrant the protection order? My mum got one recently against my dad and it takes genuine fear for your safety to get one. Did you do anything to make her fear for her safety?

Sending her flowers while a protection order is in place will go against you in court.

You really need to back off and leave her alone.

sarge marcus

Nope I never did I am waiting for court to have it over turned, but protection order is granted till I appear in court then I baby sited in the house while she went out on a date then she called the guards on me because I wouldn't leave but the orders I have said I didn't have to all she had to do was say I did some thing that's what my barraster said

sarge marcus

I am have not gone near the house, with protection order all she had to say was she felt threaten, I was baby sitting in the house I wouldn't leave she called the guards they arrested me that's it,

I know I am been stupid but can't help but think of her all the time and I don't wanting thinking I don't love her on our anniversary

Penny Tration

sarge marcus wrote: »

Nope I never did I am waiting for court to have it over turned, but protection order is granted till I appear in court then I baby sited in the house while she went out on a date then she called the guards on me because I wouldn't leave but the orders I have said I didn't have to all she had to do was say I did some thing that's what my barraster said

Yes, you can stay in the house even with a protection order in place.

There's a huge difference between staying in the house, and leaving babysitting and refusing to leave.

Are you trying to get yourself arrested?!

Stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about your children.

What you're doing is going to pretty much guarantee her a barring order in court. And the barring order means you can't go near her and possibly not near your children.

Leave her alone. Think of your children.

You are not getting her back so start thinking about your kids, and stay away from her unless you want to be arrested and ruin your chances of seeing your kids grow up.

sarge marcus

Thanks for advice I guess your right, I should give up and move on

desbrook

sarge marcus wrote: »

Thanks for advice I guess your right, I should give up and move on

No you should not "give up and move on " you should accept her right to end the relationship and move on. There is nothing to give up on - it's over!

Czarcasm

OP might I make a polite suggestion that you see your GP as soon as possible, just for a check up and a chat, because something's not right when in less than the space of an hour you go from this -

sarge marcus wrote: »

Yes but the worse it gets the harder it will be to come back from, should I give up and everything nine years and a home I am still crazy about her and would forgive everything, I taught no matter what for better for worse for richer or poorer as long as we both should live.

to this -

sarge marcus wrote: »

Thanks for advice I guess your right, I should give up and move on

sarge marcus

My heart tells me to hang on but everyone else tells me to get over it

Merkin

sarge marcus wrote: »

My heart tells me to hang on but everyone else tells me to get over it

Including your estranged wife. She couldn't be any clearer of her intentions by getting a protection order against you.

I too would second the advice of going and having a chat with your GP.

sarge marcus

Thanks for the advice

Paddy Cow

sarge marcus wrote: »

My wife won't chat to me any more, after coming home from skiing last month but we had broken up in September we wher still sleeping with each Orther ,she kicked me out and went into court and got protection order against me on valentines day she called the guards on me the next weekend and I was arrested for the week end worse weekend ever, I still feel sick after it, I am not eating right and sleep well, she won't talk to me about the kids or anything I love her so much but she has a new fellow now and spends most of her time with him, it's killing me and our 2 year wedding anniversary is next Monday will I send her flowers ?

sarge marcus wrote: »

Nope I never did I am waiting for court to have it over turned, but protection order is granted till I appear in court then I baby sited in the house while she went out on a date then she called the guards on me because I wouldn't leave but the orders I have said I didn't have to all she had to do was say I did some thing that's what my barraster said

If I am reading this right, you broke up with your wife in September but you were still sleeping together. She then got a new partner and started spending all her time with him. She got a protection order against you on valentine's day. The following weekend you baby sat in the house while she went on a date and when you wouldn't leave, she called the Guards and got you arrested. And you are seriously asking if it would be a good idea to send her flowers?!? Do not send her flowers.

You swing between wanting to take her back, to walking away. It's hard to tell if you are all over the place because she messed you about emotionally or you are a control freak who cannot recognise that your behaviour is inappropriate. Either way, this situation is very wrong. Stay away from her and speak to a mediator or counsellor to get your head together. You cannot go on like this and if you continue to behave erratically, it will look really bad for you when you go to court.

Ham Sambo

Why would she need a protection order against you for and why did the courts grant her one??

sarge marcus

Under the domestic violence act protection order is granted straight away even if there is no history of violence till court appearance then I get to defend my self, it doesn't not matter even if I didn't to any thing all she has to say I did, I was still allowed in the house with protecting order, but she didn't want me there so all she had to do is say she felt threaten and I can be arrested straight away brought to court. And she doesn't need one I would never or ever have I harmed her

Ham Sambo

So why is she going to all this trouble to exclude you from her life?

Tokyo

Seeing as the OP has closed their account, the issue can be considered as resolved. Thread closed.