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Not over his ex?

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  • 17-03-2014 1:58pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    The thread how long it took to get over a bad break up, got me thinking...

    Have you ever went out with someone not over their ex?..
    I have met this guy a couple of times, says he is over his ex but I find it hard to believe as a talks about her often in both neg and pos fashion. I don't think that matters tho as she is still obv on his mind.

    She is going out with someone else and sometimes I wonder is he just using me until he gets back with her? This is the reason I have been holding off sleeping with him. He is a very nice guy and she hurt him bad. Although it's been over a year I don't think he is one bit closer to being over her. I'd like to give him a chance but very afraid of getting hurt. He says he is not using me and is not waiting for her but I just have a niggling feeling.
    I think I have been there for him a lot and listened as a friend.

    Sometimes I think should I just have a bit of fun with this guy as both single yada yada but then I'm afraid I will grow to like him even more and end up gettting very hurt.

    Cut my losses yeah and move onto someone who is over their ex?


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    #2
    Lucyfur
    Registered Users Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    MOD

    Hi OP

    I have moved your thread to the Relationship Issues forum. You can still post anonymously here.

    Best of luck

    Lucy


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    #3
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    Sex might help him get over his ex.


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    #4
    cazzer22
    Registered Users Posts: 501 ✭✭✭cazzer22


    If he mentions his ex when it's appropriate or linked into the conversation (it comes up naturally) then I don't see an issue with it. However, if he brings up the topic of this particular ex girlfriend off his own accord quite frequently,then to me it does suggest he's not over her.
    You like this guy, so it might result in your getting hurt, especially if they do end up getting back together. Be wary as it seems to be a complicated situation.
    Although, it does take time to get over someone, especially if you've been hurt in the process.
    If it was me, I would try and move on, but it's easier said then done.
    Good luck, OP :)


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    #5
    Emme
    Registered Users Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    If he constantly brings up his ex in conversation he's not over her no matter what he says. I wouldn't advise you to hang around to listen to his woes - instead look for somebody who's interested in you and not an ex.


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    #6
    Starokan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 746 ✭✭✭Starokan


    I would not worry to much about it for two reasons, the first would be its possible he has had no other partners and for that reasons she gets mentioned a lot if talking about the past and secondly there is no evidence at all that his ex would want to get back with him.

    If you like him enough and can see a future take the risk and I'd be pretty certain the ex wont be mentioned much anymore


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    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the advice. He has a had few long term relationships. This last one was 5yrs.His brother is married to the ex sister tho and therefore he always knows what is going on with her.
    Still not sure, I know he has not been with anyone since her but I really don't want to be the rebound girl either...He could just be looking for sex and when he gets that bye bye me...


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